At 24 posts, Stuff Eurasian Males Like was in many ways a complete blog in 2011, and could stand own its own merits. Since 2014 I have essentially started a whole new Hapa blog on the ashes of my old blog. And while those 24 posts were self-contained enough to last 3 years, in the last 3 months I have raised it to 100 posts. And this is my 100th post. I have written a lot more in 2015, because the situation is much more dire than in 2011. Readers thought I was bad enough in 2011. But 2011 was actually a high point of my life. In which I was making an aggressive effort to integrate into US society. In which I was attempting to establish a normal a social life as possible for a Hapa freak like me to enjoy. And those moments mean a lot to me, even if in the normal scheme of things, I can’t say they would be very important social experiences to a functional human being. But since that time I have become entirely cutoff from the human race. And the worldview of the internet has more and more come to influence the lens by which I see the world. I don’t see this as too much of a setback, since while the web does negative reinforce my depression, it also matches up with the personal life I have lived.
Lets look at the ways in which my internet views contrast with my real life. I identify with the Asian male position. But its not like I have gotten along with them so well in person. I don’t have any particular conflict with Asian men, but proportionally they have been my enemies just as much as white or colored men. Much of my anger is directed at Asian women. And yet I’ve never had a personal bad experience with an Asian woman. That has been 100% shaped by the internet, stats, sociology, and media images. White girls could be cruel as children. But there was never any racial component to their teasing. And at least they bothered to notice me and tease me as a child. In college I had to aggressively seek out and beg white girls to make fun of me. I can’t read minds. So even if a white girl is nice to me on the surface, I can always tell myself that the data proves that deep down she despises me for being Half-Asian. Some Asian and Eurasian men, claim that White women openly tell them they refuse to date Asians. Race has never been a big issue between me and white girls in person. The most extreme ‘racism’ I’ve suffered from white women is them asking “what are you?”. And even this can be taken as a compliment, in that its acknowledging that I look a bit strange and not just ordinary Asian. Often I take the view on this blog, that I’m treated by Whites as a regular full-Asian.
But since I have so much “data” on my side, I can always tell myself, that no matter how civil a white girl is on the surface, secretly she is racist against me. If she rejects me. I will never know if she is rejecting me for me, for my personality, as an individual, or if she just has a Wall against all Asians. Rejection for individuality is fine, rejection for race is bad. But I will never know which is which. And honestly,she probably wouldn’t consciously know either. If she says shes rejecting me because I’m unattractive. Perhaps all the traits she considers “unattractive” just coincidentally happens to be the exact traits of an Asian man. The glorification of Eurasian hybrid vigor just adds to this ugliness. Because its not really hybridity thats being celebrated but whiteness. The Hapa male is attractive only to the extent that he is not Asian. And I played this game myself. When I play up my Eurasian status, it is not to play up my mixedness but my whiteness. The Asianism is in my face, and I can’t hide it. But I can at least cling to the fact that I’m not full Asian. I’m thereby accepting the narrative that Asianess is some kind of disease. And claiming that I’m only half infected with this ugly virus.
Sure there plenty of ugly internet racism against Blacks and Muslims online. But it is a different kind of hatred. If they hate Blacks and Arabs it is because they are too masculine and are going to seduce all the stupid traitorous white women. It is in this sense that the Asian woman is more white than an actual white woman to White Nationalists. She is better able to resist the charms of the virile mudraces. Asian men are the only race of coloreds who have their manhood subtracted by racism. While brown and black men become more beastly through racism. The Asian man becomes more feminine. Living as a man in 2015 America, it is this type of racism which is more harmful to well-being, happiness and personal relationships. I would say that the stereotypes towards Asian men are more destructive to mental health than those faced by any other race. And WMAF is a direct result of this triangulation. The Eurasian son is in a very hard position. Even if he doesn’t have any personal hatred for his parents, its impossible not to see WMAF as the symbol of his own castration. A whole generation of Asian sons is being raised by WMAF couples. This is an unprecedented development, and the results so far in this experiment have not been friendly.
Can I live with the fact that I’m a WMAF son? More and more, I see the answer as a resounding no. I feel like I’m going to be rejected by all people in my life. To Asian men I represent their defeat and humiliation. To White women, I get all the crap that full-Asian men get, while in addition a little residual resentment of WMAF being aimed against Western Women. Asian women take pleasure in demeaning Asian men, not caring that they are the ones who create Asian sons, even with their white husbands. And White men enjoy lording it over Asian and Half-Asian men, the lower he makes them sink, the easier Asian women become. Black and Brown men do not see Asian men as colored brothers. Rather they assign to Asians all the characteristics of white men, they resent, but Asians are like a weaker version of white men, and thus easier to bully. The anger they feel towards white men, but can’t openly express, can easily be taken out on the Asian scapegoat. There is no colored brotherhood with Asians. Asians are considered white, despite the fact that they were treated as badly if not worse than any other colored race. Mass pogroms were carried out against Asians in the 1800s. Latino immigrants never faced the same rampage.
And even an abolitionist like Horace Greeley, the editor of the New-York Tribune newspaper wrote in an editorial in support of Chinese exclusion that: “The Chinese are uncivilized, unclean, and filthy beyond all conception without any of the higher domestic or social relations; lustful and sensual in their dispositions; every female is a prostitute of the basest order.” I can’t exactly disagree that every Asian female is a prostitute of the basest order. There seems to be something inherently wrong with her character, that education and wealth wont fix. Arab, Black, Indian women who are much poorer, maintain much more dignity. But yes, after the Civil War, Blacks were treated with more sympathy than the Coolies, and they even tried to use Chinese slaves in the South. The point of all this, is no the Chinese are not like the Irish and Jews. They are not in the process of becoming white. They have been treated as colored as any other race. But they get no recognition for this. Hispanics, many of which are Iberian, and essentially white Latin Catholics, have more minority status and street cred than Asians. Asians are treated by their fellow colored people, as the worst of the whites. And by white people as the worst of the coloreds.
In sum, as a Eurasian man, I feel besieged from all directions. I feel that men and women, of all races and persuasions, will never accept me as a full human being. In creating thousands of Eurasian boys, no one put any thought into the lives they would live. Our parents decided WMAF was good, without asking if WMAF sons would be good. Hapas are just a by-product of WMAF. And when WMAF propagandists try to defend the hybrid vigor of their sons, we are just a means to an end. They use us to defend WMAF. I’m sure if instead of being a blogger, I were a great success, WMAF couples with racism towards Asian men, would still post my pic everywhere to brag about what great sons they could have. They don’t care about the consequences of actual WMAF sons. Which is why they will claim sons who aren’t theres. Such as Keanu Reeves who is 3/4 white or Dean Cain who is AMWF. Some “Eurasian sons” have no Asian blood in them at all. Because Eurasian sons are not about Eurasians, they are about WMAF. WMAF doesn’t genuinely care about the success of Hapa sons, WMAF cares about defending the WMAF pairing.
What is the solution? How am I supposed to live this Hapa life? I’m just so cutoff from the human race. I will never be able to relate to another human being. I’m an entirely new race, that the world has never seen before. The world does not know how to handle Hapas. WMAF least of all. WMAF is like Frankenstein, horrified by the demonic monster he has created. WMAF runs away from the consequences of its own creation. No one else wants to pick up the Hapa pieces for WMAF. And so we Hapa sons are left despised by all people. I can feel myself falling apart. This life has been so cruel to me, that I have very little incentive to preserve it. I have nothing to hope for. I can’t imagine ever connecting to another human being. I’m sorry to make race, everything, but with the empirical data I have presented; it is impossible not to conclude that race defines Asian relations. Asians are treated the way they are because of race. And there is no exception for Half-Asians. Rather race is but intensified for hybrids.
I’m totally unable to communicate or make myself understood by other humans. I’m like a strange animal or beast. I don’t belong on this planet. And indeed my kind has not existed very long on this planet. It terrifies me just how new we Hapas really are. East Asian civilization was one of the most isolated human communities. Shutoff from Europe by the Siberian steppe, Himalayas, deserts, Pacific Ocean. There was no sustained contact between Europe and Asia as
civilizations until the 1850s. And regular person to person contact between individual Asians and whites has only become possible since the 1970s. Eurasians have not existed in the millions of years of human evolution. And suddenly thousands of Hapas exist in 30 years. We Hapas are a totally new human experiment. No wonder there are so many pregnancy complications and C-sections, more than any other pairing. No wonder Eurasians have health problems and are unable to get any donors. So much for ‘hybrid vigor’ making Eurasians healthier. Hybrid vigor is as much Eugenic pseudo-science as Aryan supremacy is. Just because extreme purity is false, doesn’t make extreme hybridity true by default.
I’m not happy being Eurasian, and there isn’t much to be proud of. I’m a Half-Asian man. And there isn’t anything for a Half-Asian male to celebrate in WMAF couples. So many WMAF couples are ready to tell me, that I’m less of a man, because of my Asian genes. Which my Asian mom gave me. I’m not ready to celebrate who I am as a WMAF son.
Who am I going to connect to? Not Asians, Blacks, Whites, Latinos. Not men. Not women. Eurasians are utterly, totally alone in this world. No one understands them. Not even, I should say especially, their WMAF parents. While there have been some progressive Eurasian women commenting on this blog, I would say that most Eurasian women do not understand what their brothers go through. AMWF Hapas might as well be on a different planet from WMAF Hapas. In sum, there is no one in the world who gets the WMAF Hapa male. We are the most despised race in human history.