Half-White Half-Asian Like Me

Whats it like being Half-White and Half-Asian? Thats an important question for a changing America. With the flood of interracial relationships, and with mixed-race being the fastest growing race in America, there are going to be quite a few Hapa males around. White-Asian marriages seem to be the most common mix. If close to 50% of Asian women marry White men, and 50% of them have males as kids, that means 1 in 4 Asian-American women are going to have a Hapa male like me as a son. So yeah Hapa males are kind of a big deal when 25% of Asian-American women have them as kids.

So what is it like? Humiliation, degradation, terror, fear, embarrassment, shame, self-hated, angst, debasement, sadness, hopelessness, pain, anger, rage, etc etc need I go on? You can’t imagine the internal conflict. The brutal civil war inside all Hapa males. The Hapa Paradox. We exist because Asian men are humiliated and emasculated, and yet we are Asian males. We are at war with ourselves from birth. The idea that an Asian man like me, is genetically 50% white, and carries ONLY the white-male Y chromosome. The Asian Y-chromosome is dead in me. Asian maleness is dead in me. I’m a Eunuch. I’m an Asian male inside a dead Asian male. That is what it means to be half-white, half-asian. All the way back in the 2nd grade, thats how I defined my identity. I would introduce my essay by saying My name is SEML and I’m half white and half asian. So when I was only 7 years old, that was already who I was. My very identity. The thing that made me me, for better or worse. And life has shown it is only for worse. The law of life for the Hapa male is that Murphy was an optimist, everything that can’t go wrong, will go wrong. Has gone wrong. Life is a daily rape for the Hapa male. One long humiliation. One long emasculation. It feels like acid runs through my veins, like my skeleton wants to jump out of my body and strangle me. That is what it means to be an Eurasian male. The very term Hapa is a colonial term from Hawaii. A slur. And what else do Hapas deserve but slurs? So its appropriate that Hapa pride means taking pride in a slur. Non-Hapas can not imagine what it is like to be a Hapa. To be the Asian son of a white man and Asian woman. It is an unimaginable hell. Dante’s Inferno could not devise a more cruel torture. Its like being strangled from the inside.

What kind of life do WM/AFs think they can give their Asian-looking sons? What goes through their heads, when the DR says “its a boy”? What right do they think they have to rule over an Asian man? What makes a white man and an asian woman a parent to an asian man? How can they curse an innocent infant with such a miserable life that they have created? they make this world a shitty place to be an Asian male, and they they create an Asian male. It is the worst form of child abuse.

Its bad enough being an Asian-American male watching WM/AF from the outside. Can you imagine being a Hapa male, feeling WM/AF from the INSIDE? Feeling WM/AF inside you? It is a rape. Life is just a long torture and rape for the Hapa male. Hated by all. Asian males hate hapa males too, when they realize they are hapa. But Asian men are right to hate Hapas. When they look at me, all they can see is WM/AF. Can I blame Asian men for hating me, when I hate myself far far far more for the exact same reason? If they knew more about me, they would hate me more. To the white race, I’m just yellow subhuman scum. The best I can do is get on my knees, and constantly advertise my white dad, and beg for a modicum of acceptance. The good guys hate me because I’m evil, the bad guys hate me because they are evil. Hapas are unloveable monsters. Freaks. Beasts. Subhuman scum. We wander this earth, hounded from all directions. Strangers in every land. Homeless. Raceless. Strangers to strangers. We are ghosts without bodies. And then I think 1/4 children Asian women produce are in my exact same situation. To be hapa is to be hapless. The one good thing about being hapa is you have 1 WM/AF in the world you can hold hostage- your own parents. WM/AFs don’t have to give a shit what their Asian brothers, fathers, family and friends think. They do have to give a little crap what their own son thinks. So its a big deal to them, when the offspring of WM/AF calls out WM/AF to their face. That is the one power in the world, Hapas possess, the power to be a terrible son. Hows that for a revolt against Confucian filial piety?

Will you call me a racist if I say I hate white men? How can you when I am just as white as I am Asian? If I’m to give the devil his due, and say one nice thing about white men it is that his sperm produces beautiful daughters, while Asian sperm produces repulsive she-beasts.

A whiteboy writes:”WHITE GUYS AND ASIAN GIRLS ARE THE FUTURE , TOGETHER THEY ARE GOING TO CREATE A EURASIAN SUPER RACE OF BEAUTIFUL AND HYPERINTELLIGENT CHILDREN” Glad to be part of that future of beautiful and intelligent Eurasian males, who get treated by the world as Asians and thus look at WM/AFs including their own parents the same way bitter Asian guys do.

So anyway thats just a little window into the world of the Hapa man, one of the fastest growing populations in 21st century America!