I’m extremely angry about being a Eurasian male. There is no getting around that fact. I honestly and truly believe that there is nothing worse in life than being the son of a white dad and asian mom. That is the complete destruction of the soul. I blame everyone for this fact. White men and asian women for creating this situation. Asian men for building the culture which produced the most immoral race of women. Colored men, for joining in on the pile-up. And even white women, for the absolute disgust they hold Eurasian men in. I’m estranged from the entire human race.
How do I move on from this impasse?
My parents aren’t the best anti-racist action SJWs, Asian
Nationalists, that they could be. But they are not the caricature of WMAF Nazis, that so many of my fellow Eurasian men, appear to live under. I said back in 2011, that they were not the worst WMAFs in the world. And its important that they not be. If they were just uniquely bad and evil people. Then it would be easy to dismiss all my larger sociological claims, and say that I’m just tarnishing a whole category, just because of my personal problems with my parents. Its quite the opposite. Perhaps in a truly color-blind world, I could have had a normal and healthy relationship with my parents. But it is the ugliness of WMAF as a social fact, which has badly tarnished my relationship with my parents. WMAF has become so evil and disgusting to me, that I hold my parents personally responsible for every last racist crack that any WMAF in the world makes.
And maybe this is part of the problem. I have so defined myself as a Eurasian male, that its as though I see myself as the child of every single WMAF couple in the world. And so when they say ugly, mean, nasty, cruel things, its as though my own parents are attacking me. How do I separate individuals from sociological trends? How do I divorce myself from WMAF as a category? Should I care about everyone who wants to say crap about me?
Generally, I have had little bad to say about white women. But lets face it, ultimately they are the cause of my misery. Oh sure WMAF puts pressure on white women, not to date Asian men. But white men try to put plenty of pressure on white women, not to date Black men, but it doesn’t work. If anything, it adds to the sense of rebellion. But a white girl does not feel like a rebel dating an Asian man. As always its the worst of both worlds. On the one hand there is widespread social disapproval for AMWF. OTOH daddy’s reaction will probably be boring.
There are lots of endless internet debates on why AMWF is so low. Honestly, considering how much romantic relationships are driven by social pressure, and the nearly non-stop drumbeat about how Asian men are by far the worst race of males, the real question is not why AMWF is so low, but how it even happens at all? Considering the levels of mass propaganda for Asian emasculation, its a miracle that AMWF happens at all. The level of bombardment against Asian men, exceeds that of an Orwellian Totalitarian State that constantly floods it citizens with anti-Asian hate. A state propaganda machine could do no better job, in demonizing the position of the Asian man.
I make excuses for my parents. I say they are not anti-Asian, just ignorant. They don’t realize how bad things are for Asian men, but they are not actively against Asian men. But at this point it is a very negligent willful blindness. Their half-Asian son is repeatedly telling them to their faces, just how bad the situation is. And to ignore the pleas of their own son, and choose to believe that being an Asian man is no different than being a white man in America, crosses the line from innocent ignorance to willful self-deception.
There are few things I’m grateful for. But if anything this blog has been an education for me, in just how God awful the vast, vast, majority of WMAF couples are. And so if it was my accursed destiny to be born to a WMAF couple, I can at least say, that I could have done much, much, worse than my parents. The WMAF horror stories are much worse than my own. Most of my posts are about the sociological trend of WMAF. But so many stories have been shared by Eurasian men and women, of their WMAF parents being personally racist and abusive against their own flesh and blood children. Many Eurasian offspring have it much worse than me. For me, it is nasty comments on the internet. For them, it is the mouths of their own parents. And truly being a Eurasian man, growing up in a household like that, would be the definition of hell.
I’m trying to reason my way out of this box. But I just don’t see anyway out.
Should it bother me so much?
I have no place in the human world. Maybe I could find some hobby to distract me from humans, in whatever time, I have left on this stinking rock. But somehow I doubt it. I’ve been looking for a distraction since 2011, and haven’t found it. I just can’t walk out of who I’m.
Does every WMAF have to be about me personally? Sure they say crap about Asian, and by extension Eurasian men. But white men also hate on Black men. If anything they hate on BMWF with even more vehemence than AMWF. And yet that doesn’t stop BMWF from happening. Thats the choice of white women. Why am I so concerned about the taunts of ugly women? They are the ugliest race of women in the world, so why do their taunts get to me? Because they are “my” race? Are white women so weak willed as to be deceived by WMAF’s feeble arguments? So easily blown around by social pressure? Ultimately its their free-willed personal choice. They are the ones who choose to reject me. Everything else is just background noise. Static in the incalculable mixture of factors that go into any rejection.
There I have it. Everyone hates me. White man and Asian women, of course. But also white women and colored men.
Its just not fair. What are Hapas? Like .005% of the US population? Why did I have the bad luck to be born a Eurasian male to WMAF parents? Of all the racial-gender pairings, why did I get stuck being the Half-Asian son of WMAF? Why did it have to be me?
Its not fun being Asian. It be hard enough being an Asian-American male. But did you have to shove WMAF in my face, from my very birth? Make it an issue for me, from Kindergarten on?
What a cursed life I was given. There will be no greater relief than finally abandoning it. Life is not a gift for the Eurasian male. Its a horrid curse. Nothing personal against my parents as individuals. But why the hell did I have to be born to the worst, ugliest, cruelest, racial pairing ever? Why was this my Cross to bear? I’m not fit to handle it. I don’t have the strength to be a Eurasian. I can’t and wont do it.
My whole life I have been trying desperately to be anything else but a Eurasian. I have tried being white, Asian, Kazakh, AMWF, Mongolian, Turkish, Latino, Peruvian, Slavic. Anything. Anything else but Eurasian. Stupid know it alls, and armchair race scientists, are always bringing up those groups in my comments section. And since High School, I have been trying to pass for any of them. I would gladly be anything other than Eurasian. I just want to rip my genes apart. Tear them asunder. How do I resign from a race I never wanted?
I wish WMAF couples could be transformed into Eurasian men. You think its so fun? You want to mix white and Asian genes so much? Mix it in your own cells. Don’t mix it in mine. You live the life of a Eurasian man. You think white-asians make such great hybrids? The new master race. Inject the genes into your own cells. I wish people mixed their own genes. But they don’t. He is still a full white man. She is still a full Asian woman. It is the Eurasian man who has to live with the complete and entire burden of their selfish choices. I had no choice, voice, or input in my birth. I didn’t choose to be Eurasian. They made the choice for me, and expect me to thank them for it. Expect me to take up the responsibility for this Eurasian life on my own. This I can never do. I wish race-mixing was literally that. That when you race mixed, you mixed up your own genes and lost your race. You like Asian genes so much? Have some. But don’t give them to your unwilling son. You think that whites and asians are the 2 best races, and only great things can come from mixing them? Then you be a half-asian man. Inject some Asian DNA into your white cells. Have fun. But thats not what you do is it? You stay a white man, and enjoy all that white privilege. And you let your Half-Asian son take up the burden of your choices.
And Asian women, you find Asian genes so disgusting. You are the ones who carry it, not Asian men. The AMWF sons are all successful. There is not much Asianess in Asian sperm. The white woman’s egg does it all. AMWF sons all look very white, and live great masculine lives. It is you Asian women, not the Asian man, who carries the Asian genes you hate so much. You are the carriers of the Mongoloid disease. You spread the plague. You hate Asians so much, and yet you think you have the right to fling your filthy DNA onto your Eurasian sons? If you hate it so much, don’t give it to me. Biology is laughing at you. Biology is quite a trickster jester. She makes AMWF sons white and she makes WMAF sons Asian. She has quite the sense of humor. Quite the sense of justice. Isn’t that poetic justice? WMAF sons look Asian and AMWF sons look white. Genetics is a wily God. Its not so funny, when you’re on the receiving end of the joke, and have to live as a Eurasian male. But it is kind of funny. You have AMWF sons named Chang, Wong, Kim, who can look nearly full white. And you have WMAF sons named Johnson and Murphy who look nearly full Asian. It aint fun being an instrument of Nature’s justice.
I’m at the end of my rope. I see absolutely no way out of this. I can keep on writing about just how bad it is being Eurasian. And how unfair it is that WMAF parents force their children to be Eurasian. But as for my life, I see it as unfixable. It sucks to be Eurasian. Thats all there is to it. I’m glad other Eurasians are waking up to this, and speaking out on their own now. There were Eurasians saying this, even before me. But it is starting to pick up steam now. The Eurasian population is hitting critical mass. I’m not sure what the longterm social consequences will be, but it doesn’t look pretty.