Lets accept 2 facts. WMAF is a very ugly relationship. And WMAF sons are the worst people you can be in 2015 America. Given those facts, is life worth living for the WMAF son? Can he rise above his origins, genes, upbringing, and universal hatred, to make something of his life.
No, I don’t believe he can. There can be no Hollywood happy ending to a Eurasian life. And even when Hollywood did make a movie about a suicidal Hapa, it did not have a happy ending. We can’t rise above our births. The internet is right. The real world, isn’t going to save me this time. People really do hate Eurasian men. Why bother to try? I was debating back and forth with myself for a while, whether I should get back out there. I tried to tell myself maybe it isn’t so bad. Maybe real life people don’t care if I’m Eurasian. But thats not the truth. People do care. And I will always be rejected for love and friendship because of my race. The very existence of WMAF is premised on the castration of Asian men. I exist because Asian men don’t. What hope can there be for me? All I have to do, is remind myself that I have seen 100 WMAFs for every 1 AMWF, and I can sit down and never get up ever again. Why bother to try?
I’m not going to live this Eurasian life. Where do I go from here? I’ve said all I can say about Eurasian issues in 2011. IDK if I’ve added much in 2014. This is just me cannabalizing myself. Its clear that no one is going to be rescuing Eurasian men from this crisis. I don’t care anymore. In 2011 I was still full of hope. I thought somehow everything might work out in the end. I was still coming off the Heisman high, of seeing that life in 2011 wasn’t so horrific if you are a universal man. Perhaps history would work its way out. But I see now, that whatever good you might point to in the world, you can’t possible say the life of a Eurasian man is good. I’m not being tortured. I’m not homeless and starving, courtesy of my parents. I guess if you took out all the social aspects of life. The interactions with men and women. Life as a Eurasian in 1st world America, wouldn’t have to be that terrible. But the moment a Eurasian man talks to a White Man, White Woman, Asian woman, his life becomes hellish. How can I interact with those groups of people, when they are so full of disgust towards me?
There is no hope for me, and no escape. IDK I’m just one person. There are a lot of WMAF and half of them have sons. So we will see how the rising generation of Eurasians reacts to this crisis. I’m out. We’ll see how other Eurasians feel. Whether my arguments resonate with them or not. If they are unhappy with their lives, hopefully they will quickly rediscover the Eurasian condition as I have, and understand the true source of their misery. Other people besides me have made similar arguments, before 2011. I don’t think they need me, to discover these obvious truths.
Will life ever get better for Eurasian men? I don’t see how they can. I don’t see how generations of racial humiliation can be just wiped away. A whole world order, turned upside down. Hapa men will always be miserable, and there is nothing they can do to change it. We just don’t belong on this planet. We will never be able to make a human connection. We will always be cutoff from this most tribal species. Man is a tribal animal. And the hapa has no tribe. I wish I could just stop being me.
My parents don’t like it when they question their freedom of choice. Am I some kind of Nazi Dictator that wants to ban miscegenation? Do I want to take away people’s mating choice? Crush their freedom? This is the Tyrant that my parents think I’m. They have their freedom and they made their choice. I didn’t stop them. But choices have consequences. I didn’t prohibit their choice, but now they have to live with the consequences. They wanted to have a half-Asian son with WMAF parents in America. And they thought a WMAF son, would be just fine being an Asian man, with a white dad and asian mom. It shocks them that a WMAF son would be unhappy with his life. I have defended my parents at times on this blog, and said they’re not that bad. But to this day, they have never acknowledged that there is anything wrong with being an Asian man in America. They are essentially saying that being an Asian man is identical to being a white man in America. The level of ignorance to believe that is astounding. Perhaps they could be excused for their negligence back when they birthed me. It would be too much, to expect even a non-racist WMAF couple to pay much attention to the problems of Asian men. And the WMAF to AMWF gap wasn’t as big when I was born, as it is now, according to Pew polls. But to say that Asian men are doing fine in America, when they live with a Half-Asian son, who tells them all the facts of this blog. That is willful blindness. And there can never be any dialogue between us if they make the free choice to believe lies. IF they want to believe that Asian men are white men, then of course the rantings of their half-asian son will come across as the rantings of a madman. I must be insane and a liar to claim what I do about Asian men.
According to my white dad, race doesn’t exist at all for Asians. Apparently there is absolutely no difference, between being a white man and an asian man. He didn’t think the Wesley Yang article was a big deal. I can’t talk to my parents, if race doesn’t exist for them. Certainly exists for Blacks. They know blacks aren’t white people. But maybe my Asian mom feels that she is no different than a white woman. White women can marry white men, and Asian women can marry white men. Therefore whites and asians are the same.
They aren’t going to get me to embrace the life of a Eurasian man, with that attitude. I’m not going to someday slap my forehead and realize that race doesn’t exist, and go out and be a functional Eurasian adult. You don’t even have to accept the biology of race. Even if race is totally socially constructed, the social facts of being a Eurasian man, make that life unlivable. Even if there is nothing genetically wrong with being Eurasian, it is not a social life worth living. I don’t see me living a very long life. I’m surprised I made it all the way to 2015. I feel very old. I feel like I have lived, much, much, longer than I should have. What have these extra years brought me? Every year I live is more misery. If I had died 10 years ago, I would have been happier, if never born, happier still.
Live. For what reasons? What can I possibly hope for? I will never get along with anyone. Not with Whites or coloreds, men or women. Everyone will always hate me forever and ever. Because I’m a Hapa man. I was born of my own destruction.
Do I look back in my 2011 writings and think I was stupid? Yes. Stupidly optimistic. Life for Hapas is much worth than I predicted in 2011. And its just going to keep getting worse.
Look at yourself. Who are your friends? Sociology predicts they will primarily be people of your own race. Who is your mate? Sociology predicts she will be of your same race. All your friends are of your own race. And yet you have the nerve to tell the Hapa he has no problems. That is easy for you to say when you are white and have all white friends, Asian and have all Asian friends. So easy for you with your pure-race privilege to tell hapas to toughen up. Are you friends with a rainbow? Are you a multicultural after school special? Who here has close black, latino, arab, asian friends in their circle? Are you really color blind? If the majority of your friends, are of your race, you have no right to say anything to a Hapa. A Hapa is always going to be isolated and alone. No White or Asian would ever want to be friends with a Hapa man. A Hapa is a monster. A tragedy. And you just don’t get it. A Hapa will never belong anywhere. He is an alien freak from a wrong planet.