The bugs from Heinlin’s Starship Troopers are based on the Yellow Hordes. Asian Bugs lacking “minds or souls… killing them seems no different from stepping on ants.” And this is exactly how I feel that American society feels about me. I got a comment from a white woman saying essentially “well maybe WMAF and your parents are as bad as you say they are, but thats no reason you can’t function in American society. Everyone besides WMAF couples doesn’t hate you. And all your examples are just statistics, media and online anecdotes, nothing from actual personal experience.”
Its true I focus on WMAF and AMWF a lot, primarily. As the son of WMAF, I feel that is what I can speak to, most directly. Sexuality is an important part of the human experience. And the complete denial of Half-Asian male sexuality, is one of the myriad ways in which Asian humanity is denied. When the majority of white women say that the Asian man is not even a choice for me. When Asian men are the only race of men, to have to suffer from WMAF to the extent and in the manner they do. When Asian women are presented as Geisha dolls for the White man’s enjoyment. To be repeatedly told through the media, statistics, psychology experiments, dating studies, online data, that I’m considered by all races of women, the least desired male, simply on account of my race has taken an extreme toll on my self-esteem. And which such overwhelming statistical evidence behind me, I will always be convinced that my race is a huge contributing factor in my rejection. You can’t exactly quantify all the factor that go into a rejection. But if overwhelming evidence says that Asian men are the worst, you certainly can’t discount it.
And yet, with all that said, this isn’t primarily about dating. Sexuality is just one of the many human traits denied to me as a Half-Asian man. If we look in the economic and academic world. Oh sure Asians are considered “smart” in that they are study robots. This patronizing microaggression doesn’t raise my self-esteem, since nerd and geek are insults in America. And it takes away from any genuine individual achievements, since hard work is attributed solely to race. Ok you say. Maybe high school is rough for Asians. But wait until you get to college and a career, then with your brains, it’ll be Revenge of the Nerds. But Harvard sets quotas on these soulless Asian nerds. And thats why there was this whole big media hub-bub about “Asians” with white last names, not checking Asian on their admission forums. I ask you, who are these “Asians” with white last names? They are me, they are Eurasians. WMAF has transformed the Asian-American population into me, Eurasians.
Getting back to the point, if being an Asian teen sucks, its no better in the adult world. So-called Asian intelligence, is considered repetitive, rote-memorized, robotic grinding. Yet another way in which Asian traits are inherently non-human and subhuman. This is why, while an Asian might make a good accountant or programmer. You wouldn’t want to many of them in Harvard or in upper management, since they are just calculators.
My point is, yes I’ve primarily focus on the WMAF to AMWF disparity, as though all there was is dating. But honestly, I have been depressed about being Asian for much longer, than when I began fixating on that issue. I felt de-humanized as a subhuman, enemy, insect, by American society, long before I zeroed-in on WMAF as the bane of my existence. In all my years of being an American consumer of media, I have NEVER seen a fully, developed, human Asian male character. I have only seen clownish, bugs, insects and enemy casualties. It has been a propaganda machine bombarding my head, with the message that I’m not a human being. With all their problems, you can’t say Blacks, Gays, Latinos, women are not given character, individuality and humanity in American media. And no, its not “just TV”. It is the American Church, for which everyone from the schoolyard to the watercooler gathers around. It has very direct and immediate consequences in “real life”.
Now maybe there is a grain of truth in the fact, that isolating myself from humanity has only made it worse. My “real life” was certainly not roses and sunshine, but it wasn’t quite the unrelenting racism of the internet. And so maybe by isolating myself from the hatred of real people, I’ve only exposed myself more to the virulent hatred of the web. But you can’t just tell me, its just trolls. Or this is all in my head, and I’m being paranoid. I’ve presented to you, good, impartial, overwhelming objective evidence, of why it is totally rational for me as a Half-Asian man to feel less than human in society. And to me it seems impossible to live, work, socialize among people who see an insect in me. You’re right that I’m not living a “normal” life. But I look at the “normal” life offered to the average Asian-American male, and I say “no thank you”.