One of the reasons I hesitated in reviving my blog before my suicide, is that I wasn’t sure if I wanted my death to be defined by opposition to my parent’s marriage. This could be seen as a personal attack on them, as my last spiteful act. I have had tons of fights with my parents, and they are far from perfect. But by in large they are not the typical WMAF couple, for the most part. Although, no couple is an island, and I can’t negate the fact that they have benefited from WMAF privilege.
I have gotten a ton of comments here, from WMAFs along these basic lines. “I’m sorry you have such shitty parents, but my WMAF is different, and you shouldn’t judge me”. Almost always these same commentators will go on to demonstrate that they are in fact stereotypical WMAF caricatures much worse than my parents. IF they are WM they will go on to say how they admire Confucian culture and women who know their place, and are sick of white women. While if they are AF they will go on the white-worshiping speel and say Asian men are their brothers.
Here is a typical comment by sherilynnrose, she seems determined to confirm every last WMAF stereotype, while insisting shes above it.
>I’m also an Asian female. Well, to be more precise, I’m a first generation American Born Chinese. And proud of it!
Let us see how she demonstrates the “pride” she takes in being Asian.
>I was born and raised in a small southern town that’s primarily white. So, I wonder if I can identify some with the blogger’s views.
She attempts to strike up some parrallels between our situations, despite the fact that it is her herself who has created my situation.
>My girl friends (none of which are Asian) use to ask me why I don’t like Asian guys. It’s not that I don’t like them, but there’s just something about the typical Asian guy that…I just don’t find attractive. My friends on the other hand, think that Asian males are extremely attractive. My best friend joked that I’m not attracted to them cause I feel like I’m probably related to the Asians we meet (since the Asians I typically saw were extended family or family friends).
Not only is she against Asian men. But she goes out of her way, to tell her white girlfriends who are attracted to Asian men, that Asian men look like girls. Trust her, she is an Asian woman, she would know.
>I tend to avoid the masses of Asians at school, since they all seem so FOB-like to me (it simply amazes me when I hear one with perfect English), but there’s Asians in my classes, and it’s just so weird to be around Asians in class. I use to say that most Asian guys look like girls, which I still think is true
Having totally destroyed the self-esteem of any sons of hers, who might look the least bit Asian, she goes on to wonder out loud, whether she as a mother would be able to make her sons feel loved.
>My best guy friend whom I’ve known for more than seven years and practically grew up with isn’t Asian. He’s white–not even the cool kid type, but the gamer type, ahaha. xP We’ve talked about children so much lately, that I started to wonder about how mixed children feel. Surely, as parents we would express as much love as possible to our children, but would they feel as stuck in-between cultures and ethnicity as I was? Would they be able to embrace the Asian and American cultures as I am learning to? There’s an increasing amount of mixed children–perhaps society could be reaching a place where being mixed is slowly becoming a cultural norm?
Oh yes, its society’s problem. Maybe if enough AFs WMAF it’ll become the new normal, and their Asian-looking sons wont suffer.
>And for the record, Mr. Blogger dude, you are not a loser. You are not genetic garbage, a freak, or a monster. Sure there’s plenty of disadvantages of being Asian; use these seemingly disadvantageous things and make them your advantages. You’re someone who’s unique and deserves some love and respect. I think you’re an amazing person. You started a blog to write about what you feel, and in doing that, you’ve connected so many people around the world through this blog. That alone is a tremendous feat. There are so many people that feel compelled to do something but never get around to actually doing that something, but you took action. That makes you awesomely amazing.
In her final proclamation she, tells me exactly what I must do. That while I might be a girly, wimpy Asian-looking man, I have still some good in this world, by exposing her relationship for what it is. Connected people around the world on this issue. But of course she implies, that it wont mean anything as long as its just words on a blog. That only if I kill myself, will these words be concrete. The only way to complete the message of SEML, is to die.
I included that lengthy comment, because I feel it so perfectly encapsulates the WMAFs who want me to see, that they are different. Sure there might be some bad apples out there. But if I got to know THEIR WMAF, I’d see they are much cooler than my parents. The fact is, as much hate as you see here, spewed against my parents, they are far better than any WMAF I have ever met online. It is not you who are maligned by my parents, but my parents who are maligned by you.
I see now that my Eurasian people can only be saved, if I cease to be Mr.Blogger Dude and become Mr.Suicide Victim. I was bullied to death by WMAF. They have murdered me.
I’m sorry, I just can’t live with what I’m. WMAF is just too ugly. I can’t endure being a WMAF son. I can’t live with being WMAF spawn. It is clear to me, that the only reason white women reject me is because WMAF demonstrates to them, that Asian men are the worst men. If their ‘own’ women consider them so ugly, and prefer the geekiest, nerdiest white guys over them, they must be the lowest of the low.
sherilynnrose the concerned future mother of a Eurasian, even brags about telling her white girlfriends that Asian men are wimpy girls. So yes, I will continue to blame ALL my problems, on being born of a white dad and asian mom.
In the next few months, as I prepare for my death, I will use this blog to explain it. To justify my death, and make sense of it. But its really quite simple. Being a WMAF son has destroyed me as a man. I don’t even blame white women for rejecting me. How could they not, when there are sherilynnroses out there?
I’m thankful to those white women, who for at least a few moments could pretend I was a human being, and not a Hapa ogre. Its not about any romance. We know that is impossible for a Eurasian beast. But for those grasping minutes, I could at least forget that I was Eurasian. Its just pretend. I’m not really a human being. But just being treated like one, for an instance, perhaps justified my torrid life. There is whiteness in my dad, and femaleness in my mom. The missing equation is to bring these 2 qualities together in a single human being. These are the qualities absent from me. A white woman, the bane of WMAF’s existence. Western Woman the worst enemy of the WMAF adventurer. My savior. The enemy of my enemy, is my beloved friend. I don’t want to drag any white women into the disgustingness of WMAF. WMAF would love to drag their mortal enemy into their den of lust, sin, corruption. But white women don’t even notice WMAF exists. And it is for the better. They don’t notice I exist. Lets keep it that way. Their happiness should not be scarred by a WMAF son. The arrow was meant for western woman, let it pierce my heart instead. WMAF hoped to hurt white women, let them only hurt me, their own son.
I’m the son of a scheme against white women. This is my eternal pain. Their beautiful world should not be marred by my presence. If the sons of Boycott Western Women, die sad, pitiful deaths, it is for the better. Boycott the sons of Boycott Western Women.
I’m sorry I was born, I’m sorry of what I was born of. And I see there is no place on earth, that I can escape my identity as a WMAF son. I have a white dad and asian mom. I will never be able to say those words without dying inside. And now dying on the outside. It has murdered me.
Am I being fair to my WMAF parents?
Was it fair of them, to impose a life on me, where I would be universally hated by the whole human species? Is it fair, that because of a race I did not choose, I will know nothing but rejection in life? That I will forever be surrounded by people who hate and despise me? Is that fair to me? Life is not fair. And I have died of its unfairness. So don’t tell me, its not my parents fault, they just happen to belong to a horrid sociological category. Categories matter. Despite having a white dad, I will always be the Asian guy. I will always belong to that category, with everything that comes with it. So don’t tell me categories are nothing. In my life they have been everything. I have not been a human being. Just the category of WMAF son. I wanted to make my life about more than this. But American culture would not allow it. They typecast me in this box, and insisted it was all I was.
If you want to help me. Tell the world my story, after I’m dead and buried.