I guess I could just ask what do you think its like to be an Asian-American? American culture is so big on masculinity. IF you tell a white guy he has a small dick, or hes a nerd, or a bad driver or a beta male, its a huge personal insult. If white america and Asian america were just two dudes at a bar, and Mr.White said all this shit to Mr.Yello, you might understand why Mr.Yello would be a little pissed. And yet when White America as a whole applies all these insults, and they are insults not stereotypes, to Asian males, and defines Asian males as this, we are expected to take it lying down. If I as an individual, had all the Asian stereotypes flying around me, personally. You would get where I was coming from. But since they are not just personal insults, but stereotypes applied to Asians as a race, that makes it ok. And of course all races have to put up with stereotypes. Poor white males have people thinking they are too handsome, too strong, too rich and too powerful and too manly. At least in terms of masculinity, no other race has this universal downing. Blacks and Latinos are seen as hyper-masculine.
Actually I’m curious how the sociobiologists would explain the place of Latinos. Since they are basically hapa, when you think about it. The descendents of the Mongoloid Native Americans and the white Spanish. So you would think Hispanics should basically be Hapas, intelligent, and a midpoint between white and Asian. Instead the stereotype places them closer to African-Americans. I guess the best pseudo-sociobiological answer I can think of is that the white Conquistadors killed all the native men and raped all the native women. Thus Latino men inherit their ultra-machismo from their white conquerors.
Anyway it just sucks that every insult that you could throw at a man, is thrown at all Asians as a race. And the thing is just being a regular Asian guy when you walk down the street and see tons of WM/AF couples, and AF saying the prefer WMs to AM, and virtually no AM/WF couples. Well that seems like objective proof that the stereotypes are true. Even if its not biologically true, if society is powerful enough to make it a reality, well then it is a reality.
And thats where we come to me as a Hapa male and not just an Asian male. The Urbandictionary written by a fellow hapa male sums up my position perfectly. It is good, but also sad to know that somewhere out there a hapa male just like me wrote that entry. And really there must be tons of Hapa sons of WM/AF who feel like I do. Nothing is more emasculating for an Asian man to see WM/AF. And Hapa males are basically Asian males. And YET.. and yet Hapa males are born of WM/AF. Look sometimes it seems like I’m personalizing my attacks on my parents too much. And maybe thats not fair. IDK it depends how pissed off I am. Look my dad isn’t a stereotypical Asiaphile. And they actually met through mutual friends since they were both single. Thats the way “normal” couples meet. But still when you understand just how degrading WM/Af is to Asian men, you see it hurts as a Hapa male to be born to even the best of WM/AF.
The thing is when WM/AF is confronted, the first line of defense is ignorance. They say well its just an accident, we’re colorblind, the mystery of romance. And this randomness defense, while the most disingenuous and dishonest, is the one I can tolerate the most since at least it contains no explicit attack on Asian males. I would LIKE to think my parents fall into this category, even though I’m highly skeptical of how much it applies in general. Once confronted by reality, statistics and the brute fact that white men get Asian women, but Asian men don’t get white women. Well, the fallback position is well maybe Asian men don’t want white women, or are too shy. And thats where it begins. Thats where the WM/AF defense degenerates into a fullscale attack on Asian men. Where the virtues of Asian women as submissive China dolls are praised, and white men are the knights in shining honor, both more masculine than the dweeby Asian wimps, yet at the same time so much more sensitive, emotional and romantic. So yeah once you force WM/AF into the 2nd line of defense, it quickly bases its whole justification on Asian-male bashing. In some ways the attempted justification of WM/Af pisses me off more than WM/Af itself. But in the end they HAVE TO fall back to that line, because the statistical imbalance is just so overwhelming that random love just won’t cut it.
So yeah I guess to all the people out there who think the views on this blog are so extreme or self-hating, or even go as far to say that this must be fake and I can’t possible be a Hapa male. Just think of what it must feel like as an Asian male to have to see tons of WM/AFs on every corner and no AM/WFs. And then imagine not just being an Asian male, but being a hapa male born of WM/Af. Is it any wonder I feel the way that I do?