So I JUST had a huge fight with my parents. IDK they’re not bad people as individuals, they’ve generally been good to me personally, although I have plenty of major complaints on the individual level. Generally I would not tar them with the brush I would apply to modern 21st century wm/af relationships, since they come from an earlier time, and they met through a rather “conventional” method of mutual friends, and not war-bride or Asian night or anything like that. On the other hand when I really press them on the issue they use some wm/af language that would make me lump them in with the rest. For example my mom actually had the gall, to defend herself by saying she has tons of friend and relatives married to white guys and even mentioned Amy Chua the Tiger mom! None of their offspring complain.
I must admit it is very cathartic to just lash out at my parents and be a total ahole about it. I don’t feel guilty since I’m attacking wm/af at the root- my own parents. They are the only wm/afs I can attack, I mean I could catcall couples on the streets, and I’m a pretty big guy so I probably could hand most wms like that, but thats not my game.
Look I admit I’m a terrible son. But my parents brought this on themselves. My dad tries to play Freud with me. And my mom calls her decision to immigrated to the USA and marry a white man- “her personal free choice and none of my business”. Hello! I’m born of that business.
What a horrid existence. My genes make me an Asian male, and I’ve never been treated as anything but an asian male. I used to have brown hair and more euro features but ive mongolized with age. Occasionally people will think I’m hispanic or some weird mix. Its weird, I was brought up entirely with my dad’s relatives, and can’t even speak my mom’s native language. Basically a white boy in an asian’s body, which I think made me all the more sensitive to any racism. In the abstract, I’m not any racial purist, if we all become one big gray race, so much the better. One big rainbow. But in the reality of 2011 America, interracial relations isn’t some multicultural utopia, but based on power relations, and theres nothing more emasculating to an Asian man. I don’t even find Asian females attractive, feels to incestus to me. But obvious when white chicks at the top of the racial totem pole, see that Asian males are at the bottom- wamo!
IDK my parents aren’t that bad people. Some specific complaints are my mom’s hypocritical claims to her asianness (kind of like amy chua), my dad attempting to psychoanalzye me instead of taking my complaints seriously, and them just dismissing my position when neither of them are asian males and have no first-hand experience. I think parents in general deserve to be attacked by their children, since the world is a crappy place, and children have the right to challenge those who cursed them with birth. But in my specific circumstance, my parents are an embodiment of what affects me personally as the worst evil on earth- the emasculation of asian men- like me.
I’m ranting cause I just got out of a big fight with them. But any advice or feedback would be most appreciated.