I: Its clear that all Eurasian men are in hopeless situations. They might be able to deny it for a while, and even appear happy and content on the outside, as I myself was able to do for many years. But the crisis inside them, relentlessly crushes them. I read stories about supposed loser men and their burdens, and none of them compares with the Eurasian. It really is a modern day curse to be born of a white dad and asian mom. And it doesn’t matter who they are
individuals. The sexual situation is set up in America, that the WMAF relationship in and of itself is intrinsically harmful to the psychology of their sons. I’m not saying its fair to my parents. But the whole situation is not fair. And these are the results. Like it or not, this is what all WMAF produces in their sons.
U: And you feel that no decisions on your part could have rescued you from this situation?
I: I’m sitting on my hands now, no denying it. But I didn’t always. I have tried every possible way to make peace with the world. I have surrendered and prostituted myself to my worst enemies to make a deal. I was ready to accept any terms. I called it unconditional surrender, V-J day and I meant it. And before it came to this crisis point, I had already been experimenting with multiple possible life paths. When it was clear that sexuality would play no place in my life, I seriously pursued becoming a Christian Monk. I was ready to make any deal with anyone.
U: Your definition of surrender to American culture is flirting with beautiful white girls.
I: I wouldn’t call anything I do flirting. And as I said, I also pursued becoming a Monk. Right now over the last few days, I even considered living a Monkish life in Asia. I’m widely open-minded. I’m reasonable for any possible deal. I have done everything possible to preserve this Hapa life. As much as someone who loves and clings to life. I who hate life. I have more than fulfilled my fiduciary responsibility to this life I hate so much. If there was any possible Hapa life to be lived, I would have found it.
U: You use the term Hapa life, implying that this is purely a racial issue.
I: Its impossible to separate the universal rejection, from the situation of being a Hapa son of WMAF. These are the particular racial-sexual circumstances prevailing in America. WMAF happens in the way it does, with such rhetoric, to fulfill that niche. I’ve discussed it 100s of times. My life is a Hapa life. Defined by being half white and half Asian. And its impossible to understand without that fact. With it, it all falls into place.
U: At this point, you just want an escape from life?
I: I see clearly now, that no Hapa man life will ever be worth living. I see just how desperate the Hapa situation is. Frankly, I don’t even care about these petty issues of race and sex anymore. In the grand scheme of things, when you are not going to exist, those are rather small. Perhaps the future wave of Eurasian men, will find their way, perhaps they wont. It wouldn’t matter to me, if I ceased to exist. But yeah, a couple of more years of this is unbearable.
U: Now you have stated that if your parents were to allow you to be a permanent basement-dweller you would call it even with them. And freed from the world, you could live relatively long-term. Perhaps decades more.
I: In this sense race is a social construct. I never wanted to think of myself as Eurasian or Asian. And under free conditions I would not have. This identity was socially imposed on me. Because everyone saw the Eurasian in my face. And they imposed Asian on me, against my will. Without this social imposition, I don’t have to define myself in terms primarily of being half-asian. If I could be left alone. The high school squabbles with my parents, seems so petty now, knowing that I would end up this. I would have been more chilled and laid back, if I knew nothing mattered and this was my destiny anyway.
U: Now from there point of view, its for your own good to be a normal human being.
I: But its not a possibility. And we have to keep the selfish gene aspect in mind. They could have just adopted kids. They selfishly believed there was something worth preserving in their WMAF genes. I told my white dad, that eugenics would have prevented my parents from mating, and a freak like me from being born. And he thinks so-called intelligence proves I’m not an inferior mixture. Lets see the fruit of this Eurasian brightness. This writing is the only thing my brain has ever produced. I’m not a normal human being. I’m not capable of living a normal life. And I wont take on the responsibilities. I should live like Rain Man. They’re right, if I’m unable to support myself, their future deaths, will mean my death. That might be true. So I would have to commit suicide, a couple of decades from now, because I would be totally incapable of functioning as an independent adult. Granted. They are correct. But by denying me this, they aren’t ‘saving’ me. I’m not ever going to shape up and be a functional male. Instead of killing myself, in a few decades, I’ll have to die, much sooner. Thats the only result.
U: Now, Hapas are not the only evil in the world.
I: Its all connected. I would say WMAF, in its current form, perfectly embodies all the evil trends floating around the world. The ideology of cruelty and sadism is realized in WMAF. It is a substantiation of all the evil in the world. Perhaps not the leader, but a joiner in the trends. And as a Hapa male I’m the incarnation of evil. But sure the regular evils of the world, are enough to lead any thinking, feeling white male to suicide. Such as a Mitchel Heisman. I think if a universal, coloress (white) man, were to seriously examine the circumstances of human existence, he would come to anti-natalist conclusions. But those who are generally comfortable or at least tolerable in their lives can endure it. Eurasian life is totally unendurable.
U: You couldn’t do anything for yourself, do you regret not helping others?
I: I tried with all my heart.
U: You tried to help your ’causes’, driven by your anger and hatred at being Eurasian. But you weren’t exactly saintly towards individuals. When have you ever helped another human being? Providing laughs for white girls, by being a semi-entertaining freak show, is not exactly charity work.
I: I tried my best to provide foreign aid, even to my own detriment. But it was impossible to be effective, when I myself was a nation in collapse. In racial civil war.
U: Your only cause was the Eurasian cause.
I: Only if Eurasian is broadly understood, as discussed earlier, to be the symbol of all the evils in the world. My activities in the real world, actually had very little to do with being Eurasian. Sure if you trace my psychology and motivations, yes its always about being Hapa. But theres no direct link.
U: You focus all your hatred on WM and AF. But the fact is, you’ve never had any negative interactions with AF. You’ve been ok with them. Does it make sense to be so hateful over stuff you read on the internet? Agreed, the AF as created by the web, is a devious monster. But why hate real people over an internet caricature? If anything your interactions with AF are better than they’ve been with AM and WFs, who you have only good things to say about. Those little, innocent white girls bullied you in elementary school. Teased you, mocked you, gave you cooties. Sure you had more problems with white boys than asian boys. But this was just because there are a lot more whites in America. Proportional to their population, your interactions with Asian guys, have been as ugly as with white. Those you hate, those you love, are based entirely on statistics and internet anecdotes, not on personal experiences.
I: Are the facts untrue?
U: Should you hate based on facts, you never personally encountered?
I: I wouldn’t say never.
U: But you admit its primarily from these external sources?
I: They helped amplify what I had already experienced personally. They provided a narrative explanation that fit my personal data.
U: You read some article on the internet, and it plunges you into a new depression. Do you honestly feel the people around you hated you?
I: I wouldn’t deny it.
U: Even the Lotte to your Young Werther?
I: Lotte is just a symbol. A pretty Germanic face to make suicide more Wertherian. Nothing more than a blue cloak to be worn in imitation.
U: A prop in a stage drama.
I: Any storyline is better than the Hapa one. Perhaps it would be a stupid idea to have a Eurasian suicide. Except that it is easier to die with shallow ugliness than sublime beauty. With these WMAF issues, I know quite clearly in my gut, why I’m dying. If its so high and beautiful, its hard to die over it. Its easier to die in ugliness.
U: You wanted to run back to Asia, to escape your hated white people. Is Lotte, a German Nazi that hates you?
I: I’d rather not drag my happiness into my hapaness. Even if it was a fake happy. Not everything in my life, needs to be pissed on by Hapa. But at the end of the day. Yes. All of them. Its the whole system of Hapa oppression. And I’d have to say they are all part of it. And if I was to run away, I’d be running away from everyone. But there is no place to run to, so long as I live. I need to outrun life itself.
U: These are your feelings?
I: The moments which are so dear and important to me, mean absolutely nothing in the scheme of things. If you muddy them with Hapaness, they shall be as filthy as everything else. They mean nothing to the world. I prefer to keep them locked up in my heart, away from my Hapa. But if one insists on dragging it into the light, it to shall be filled with Eurasian ugliness. Nothing escape the shadows.
U: Then you have no interest in pursuing any remaining life projects?
I: I would hate to live another 10 years. There would be no nightmare greater than that. I’m surprised I have lived this long. Twas not my intention to. And the longer I live, the more my hatred of life is confirmed. No one will ever understand the Eurasian male. I see that all my words have been in vain. The Eurasian, is totally and completely alone. Every Eurasian, must make the choice for himself, on whether his life is worth living or not. But no human being will ever understand the Eurasian. We shall forever be cut off.