Even the perfect White Dad and Asian Mom can have a Son like me

Sometimes I feel a little guilty saying my parents are “not that bad”. Maybe I’ve been “bought off” by reparations. Its funny, in my teen years when I would through my enraged tantrums and wreck the house, as early as 15, my dad told me if he couldn’t control me, he’d get rid of me. Now many, many years later. At a time when my peers have begun to marry and start families. I’m less functional and more dependent on him than I was at 15. During one of my rants I went on and on about how horrible it was being a Hapa man, but that I’d live off of my “reparations” from my White dad. And this enraged him, and he said no one would stop him from throwing a full grown man, my age out of the house. Hes sarcastically brought up my “reparations from my white father” a couple of times since, so I guess it had an impact on him. Does this make us even? I consider being Half Asian a shitty life. But hey as long as someone else is paying for it.

The more militant Hapas would say that anyone who says “my parents weren’t like that” is making excuses. And it would be hypocritical for me to say WMAF is the devil, but oh not my parents. Thats why I reference 2011, as my guide. Am I betraying what I said then? Its true I said a lot of angry things about my parents. But the anger was over WMAF as WMAF. That with WMAF happening at such overwhelming rates as it was. It couldn’t be interpreted as anything other than a rejection of the value of Asian males. And thats why I shine the light on those WMAFs who just come out and say it. Since it “proves” what I’ve always thought WMAF is about. But even in 2011, I was saying my parents aren’t that bad. It was always about my anger at WMAF as a trend. Although where my parents messed up, I always brought it up.

Yes, one flaw in my parents is they refuse to acknowledge just how hellish life is for Asian men. Once my dad even joked that I should write a book called “My life as an Asian Man… and my unsympathetic White Father.” Little does he know, I’ve long written, many volumes of that book. At the same time, I’m not here to say “my evil parents refuse to acknowledge that Asian male life is hell”. Because what good would it do if they did?

Say one of you “Good WMAFs” comes here, and says “I wont be like your rotten parents, I will tell my kids all about institutional and structural racism, and patriarchy and imperialism and colonialism, and how WMAF fits into all that.” Slow clap. So you acknowledge that WMAF is at the nexus of all that racism and sexism, at least on the aggregate. But you still want to benefit from imperialism? How is that better than being ignorant? In some ways knowledge is more evil. Like the Asian women who write these “progressive” “feminist” articles about how they know its so bad being an Asian man, but sorry they also married a white man. Is that the model you are looking to, when you say you will be a WMAF who acknowledges racism against Asian men? Sorry son, I took advantage of you being the worst race of males, but try to make the best of it, and fight the man. (not me though!)

Does it mean every WMAF is bad? No… but. But either you have to be willfully ignorant. Maybe not outright racist, but not really thinking about racism either. Or you are a hypocrite and opportunist. You acknowledge structural racism, and then you proceed to profit off your privileges. Acknowledgement means nothing. There is nothing worse than those articles written by WMAF,that says they get Asian male problems.

Oh I just happened to meet my White husband, Asian wife. We just met and it clicked. I’m not like your evil parents, who went to Asia looking for an easy wife. My parents met in the USA. Through a mutual friend. Thats about as conventional way for a relationship to start as you can get. Once as a kid, I even asked my parents, if they could invite that friend to my birthday party, since she was the reason I was born. Back then I looked at me being born as a good thing.

BUT. But I don’t accept that WMAF “just happens”; when AMWF doesn’t “just happen”. Lets say my parents’ WMAF is pure and innocent, they just met and clicked. When I told my mom about my hatred of WMAF to her face, this was pretty much her answer. Lets accept it. But then switch the genders around. If it were an Asian male immigrant to the US, with a thick accent, would he “just happen” to meet a white woman and marry? Its not an accident we Hapas have white dads. Just by probability, there was more of a chance of being WMAF. A LOT more. And I don’t care what the official stats are. I go by what I see. And I honor the legacy of Wilkes McDermid, who personally counted it, and saw 99:1. This has been my general experience as well. I’ve said 100:1. I see WMAF everywhere. Maybe I’ve seen 20 AMWFs in my whole lifetime. So don’t tell me it “just happens”. Don’t tell me you grew up in a 70% white country or a 90% white town. Because if it “just happened” it would “just happen” for AMWF too. I go by the ghost of Wilkes. If I see 99:1, then its 99:1. I can make all the excuses in the world I want for my parents. But the point is, it wouldn’t have just happened for an Asian male FOB. If he went to a 90% white town, he wouldn’t “just happen” to meet a nice white girl and marry her.

Thats why I’m angry at my parents just for being part of the WMAF trend. And have given them much grief for it.

The thing about the WMAF sons with bad parents, which seems to be most of them, both those that agree or disagree with me. The thing is, they make it about their parents. They have horror stories to tell. These horror stores certainly illustrate the challenges of the Hapa experience. I have some politically incorrect anecdotes, but I wouldn’t say I have horror stories. But then these WMAFs come along, and they read all these horror stories. And it just reassures them. Me and my Asian wife are normal people. We are not these monsters. So obviously it doesn’t apply to me. Even if 90% of WMAFs are monsters, I’m part of the 10%, so my kids will be totally fine. And the Hapas don’t exactly challenge this. They resort, that no you must deep down be a bad WMAF. Don’t get me wrong. That usually IS the case. On the internet, WMAFs have a terrible case of racist Tourettes, where they can’t help but be racist and sexist.

In the rare case where a WMAF doesn’t slip up, these Hapas are shocked. And they fawn all over them. You guys will be fine, because you aren’t racist. You’re not one of the bad ones. Yeah, I’m surprised too, just because WMAF online is just so racist and sexist. Meeting one that isn’t is a diamond in the rough. And generally I wont attack them. I wont say that really you are racist, or that just by being in a WMAF you’re evil. If they believe and say the right things, and they aren’t racist, I wont start trouble with them. BUT. But I don’t believe they’ve solved the Hapa problem. The Hapas with bad parents. Maybe they agree, problem solved. They had bad parents. They see most WMAFs on the internet are bad. They read the bad WMAF news stories. And then they meet a WMAF who isn’t obviously bad. And they say, your kids are going to be totally fine. I disagree. I say their kids can very well be me.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for anti-racism. And I don’t want my point to be, go ahead be racist against your Hapa kids, don’t be racist, they are all doomed in the end. Being racist against your own kids, is a horrific form of child abuse, and it definitely makes a bad situation much, much, worse. But not being racist, doesn’t remove the bad situation. So when I say my parents aren’t that bad, aren’t stereotypical, aren’t racist. It might seem I’m making a pro-WMAF statement. But in the longrun, its a much darker anti-WMAF statement. Unlike the other Hapas, I’m not going to tell you, just don’t be racist, just address Asian male problems, and your kid is clear sailing. No, you can do everything perfectly right, and your son is still me.

Parents only have a limited role in their kids lives. Society, culture, peers has a much bigger influence. So lets say the WMAF parents believe all the right things, perfectly politically correct, have never said anything bad about Asians their entire life. Then the Half Asian son goes to school. He learns he lives in a culture, where Asian men are overwhelmingly the least valued as males. He learns 1st hand all the Asian stereotypes. He sees the overwhelming WMAF flood. Which follows naturally from the proposition that Asian men are the worst men. WMAF is at the heart of Asian emasculation. Both a cause and effect of it. Without commenting at all, on the character of his parents as individuals, once he has come to experience life as a Half-Asian man, WMAF comes to embody everything thats terrible about that life. Its obvious that women of ALL races, but most conspicuously Asian women have rejected Asian men as men. Then what is he supposed to think about his WMAF parents? And you not being directly, openly racist against Asian men, doesn’t fix it. Asian women still by far have the highest rate of outmarriage, overshadowing overwhelmingly any other race of women. And you are part of it. Your son can certainly think like me. WMAF is about me being the worst kind of man. And my parents are WMAF.

This is why me saying “my parents aren’t that bad” is not a copout, but a defense of the Hapa cause. I’m not going to tell a WMAF who acknowledges Asian men have it bad, that their sons will be just fine. What are you going to tell your son? Yes, theres a lot of racism against Asian men, especially in the dating field. Sorry about that son. Acknowledgement doesn’t solve the problem. Face it, your WMAF is going in the wrong direction. Your WMAF is part of the trend, that Asian women, unlike any other race of women, are totally unsatisfied with their race of men. Why is inmarriage better than outmarriage? Its not about better or worse. Its about whats normative. Its about IS not OUGHT. All other races of women DO inmarry, thats the IS, thats the facts. Asian women are the ONLY race of women to outmarry in such large numbers. Implicitly it is a sexual selection against Asian men. But we don’t need to just deduce the implications of it. Its explicit. There so much overt propaganda saying Asian men are the worst race of men. I’ve said before, the shock is not that AMWF is so rare, the miracle is that AMWF can happen at all, given the overwhelming tide against Asian men. I’m half inclined to ignore all the white women in AMWF who post here as trolls trying to weaken my resolve. I’ve never seen any of you in real life. Now in the internet, you want to tell me, you exist and have found my blog?

If its all about bad parents. Then the WMAFs reading can just say they wont be bad parents. Even when they do have racist tourettes. If I say I have good parents, then there aren’t any easy solutions.

It matters for the Hapas too. Theres no point trying to convince every Hapa in the world, that their parents are evil. You wouldn’t even convince me, the author of this blog. But theres no use, just writing off those Hapas as brainwashed. I’m glad all these Hapa resources about terrible parents exist. And I hope it helps those Hapas grapple with their demons. But suppose a Hapa with nothing against his parents comes to my blog. If hes suffered as a Half Asian male in society, he might identify with the thought process I’ve been through. As far as parents go, he might remember all the ways his parents have been less than parents. But more importantly than them as individuals, he sees the Hapa paradox. Hes born of WMAF, but WMAF as trend says hes less of a man. Its impossible to read it any other way in the context of US culture, and what Asian men and Asian women are to US culture.

Look my blog isn’t and never has been a programmatic statement. I don’t lay out what the Hapa problems are in a concise, orderly manner, and then present a program on how to fix it. Its personal, rambling, autobiographical, stream of consciousness. And maybe this hurts my blog in being a tool to convince anyone of any specific position. But I look at it heuristically. The only people who can be convinced in the end, are my fellow Hapas. So they look over the whole stream of my life. I’m sure much of it is unique to me. But some of it, it only happens to Hapas. And they might have thought they are the only people in the world who’ve ever dealt with it. And then they learn its a Hapa issue. They can see how my thought process evolved, and they can choose to follow me if they want.

As long as Asian men and Asian women occupy the spaces they do in US society. Which in my opinion are the worst places any males and females can be in a cultural space. Then WMAF will be a substantiation of it. If Asian men are nerdy, sucky, enemy eunuchs. And Asian women are easy prostitutes, or quiet, non-feminists, that even nerdy awkward white guys can talk to and have a good chance with. Then WMAF follows naturally. The overwhelming numbers of WMAF. Follow from a race, in which the men are sexless, and the women are easily available to the lowest status white men. Its ugly. And Hapa come to feel like they are born out of something ugly, no matter who their parents are as individuals.

To the “good WMAFs” as a Hapa male, born of WMAF, thats how I feel. I feel that WMAF embodies all the ugliness associated with asian men and asian women in white society. Its ugly and I see WMAF as ugly. And its not going to change so long as WMAF takes place in a context where Asians are where they are. I hate the cultural space Asians occupy. There is no worse type of man or worse type of women. Everything the ideal Man shouldn’t be, thats what an Asian man is. You think your half whiteness can free your Half Asian son from all that? It didn’t free me. Just look at pictures of REAL Hapas, NOT your fake Keanu and Dean Cain. Some of them might be on the mixed side. But you can’t look at pictures of Hapas, and tell me, that Asianess is irrelevant to them. They will suffer it. And if WMAF remains anti-Asian its anti-Hapa. This is what I mean when I write that I was born of my own racial castration.

As long as Asians remain what they are to White Society, Hapas will remain what they are. And with the True Face of Hapas emerging in just the last few years, America does not like what it sees.

How a Eurasian Boy became a Hapa Man

Where do we go from here? A lot of my posts since 2014, have been backward looking. Looking back to my blog of 2011. Which in many ways stood as a finished total work. Where the Hapa flame was carried on, is in the comments section of my blog, where there was much lively discussion that carried on, developed and went beyond my early points. And this continued from 2011, right up to 2014, when all these new Hapa resources began sprouting up. At this point, if I wanted to recommend someone a place to start on Eurasian issues, I might not even recommend my own blog. And I don’t say this out of any false modesty. Others have given me credit or blame, as being the one who got the ball rolling in really analyzing these Eurasian problems. I don’t want to give myself all the credit, because its not true, that it started with me. And if we pretend that it started with me, should pretend that the Eurasians of the past never had any problems?

You can find plenty of posts prefiguring my ideas going back into the 2000s and the 1990s. And in other sources even before the 1990s. What I do deserve credit for, is I’m the one who really connected the WMAF trends to the self-image of Eurasian men as Half-Asian men. Even there I was prefigured by Urban Dictionary. Their entry on Hapa males, in a very concise and pithy way from 2010, sums up every thing I’ve said since. The White guys with Yellow Fever who put down Hapa guys, become the dad of Hapa guys. And whoever the anonymous Hapa who wrote that was, he was less militant than me. He said there was nothing wrong with Asian women preferring white men. But he said it creates a lot of problems for Hapa males in the teen years.

I closed my 2011 blog with April Wilkner. And in many ways she represents the wrong kind of Eurasian women. A Eurasian woman who uses her mixedness as a way of escaping being Asian. But back in 2006, when I was watching her. I was also someone who wanted to escape being Asian. So when Janice Dickenson told her that she needed to embrace her role as the “Asian model”; and April said no I’m half white. These are ideas that resonated with me. Understand that in 2006, I wasn’t some White-washed white-worshiping Eurasian guy. Oh I had went through my rightwing, patriotic, pro-white days in my youth. But just the next year, I turned militantly anti-white. Calling whites devils. But even in hating white people, my Asian shame still showed. I was with colored people, with the brown man. Against the white man.

When in the 8th grade my White dad asked, so what are you an Asian nationalist now? I said No! Black Nationalist. Even in my pride, in being anti-white, I was still shamed of being Asian. I looked to Blacks, Browns, Muslims. Anyone but Asians, especially East Asians. Even later in high school, where I gingerly moved towards genuinely embracing Asian Nationalism, it was pretending that Asians were like the other minorities, Brown and Black. I wasn’t ready to take on the genuine issues unique to Asians. If the problem with Asians is that they are too smart, and don’t commit enough crime, I wasn’t there yet.

And this was the mindset I was in in 2006, when I saw April Wilkner, and was ready to start looking into Eurasian issues. And if all these militant Eurasian blogs and forums, existed in 2006, I would have grabbed the title Hapa Eurasian, and been behind them 100%. But the Hapa, Eurasian forums had nothing to say to me. And I have nothing but disgust for those who would drag us back to those bad old days. There are thousands of Hapas suffering out there. If you took them back to 2006, they would just feel like freaks, their Hapa angst not spoken to. I’m proud, that in part thanks to my blog, a Hapa in 2016, looking to find out who he is, wont have to abandon his Hapaness.

But thats what I had to do. So then finally, after all these years of running from being Asian, I was ready to be Asian. I called around all the Asian Civil Rights groups. And I was almost going to intern or join up with one of these Anna Hong-Smith lead groups. Although I didn’t know about the Hong-Smith at the time, since on the website she just called herself “Anna Hong.” I went to one of these Asian culture clubs in college. And there was some talk by a White Christian missionary in Asia. My dad joked there must have been a lot of white guys coming to the Asian club to meet Asian girls. He always assumes that anything Asian, there are going to be white guys looking for Asian girls. I assume it too, but more sinisterly than him. Anyway there was actually only 1 white, a white girl. I should have told my white dad that, and asked him if the white girl was there to meet Asian guys?

Hapa groups weren’t the answer. But full Asian groups I learned were just as corrupt. And so for a while I totally abandoned my fixation on being Hapa and Asian. And decided that that struggle would be decided in wider struggles I was involved with. So I bounced around this and that for a while, not really thinking about being Hapa. Until 2009, when I had a total breakdown. I had a blog then, which was on general pessimism and despair. Never mentioned being Hapa or race at all. But these Hapa issues were already growing on me 2006-2010.

My Asian and Hapa issues developed mostly after high school. But don’t think it was so innocent in my teen years, even if I wasn’t as ideologically conscious of what it meant to be a Asian Hapa male. In the 10th grade, I was in the car with my parents, and they brought up the subject of girls. And I made the extremely hostile comment that “You have RAPED my mother, and I will RAPE your daughter”. At only 15 years old this was my way of saying, I would only date white girls. But even I have to admit, that it was vicious language. But it just shows you, that even before I was “awakened”, I was even more enraged about being a WMAF son, than I’m now. I said to my dads face, that by being in a WMAF, he was being a rapist. If anything I’m much, much nicer now, when I try to say my parents generally aren’t bad people. But they are part of the WMAF trend which has many negativities. At 15, there was no ambiguity to my rage. My dad actually took it lightly. And said if I wanted to date women of his ethnicity, that was good.

But despite all the rage I show at the very idea of dating Asian girls. Both my parents have brought it up several times since. As recently as last month, my mom said I could meet a girl in her country. I guess they have no long term memory, at the rage I’ve shown at that idea for many years. Even when I was an Asian Nationalist. When I drew my Spirit of the Fatherland, I represented her as a beautiful White woman in a toga. Ironically it speaks the truth. The Spirit of my FATHER’s Land is a white woman. Even when I was militantly pro-colored anti-white, even then I couldn’t conceive of dating anyone other than a white woman. And I didn’t even have any ideological ideas like I do now, about Asian women being of immoral character. I just didn’t consider them as women. You think I’m obsessed with white women now? When I was in Middle School, I had a little crush on Jessica Alba. Once I found out she was Mexican and non-white, I felt almost physically sick, that I had been attracted to a nonwhite. Now I would happily accept most Latinas into the white family. But it just shows you, that if you think I’m bad now, with all my Hapa Ideas, I was even worse when I wasn’t thinking about them.

I’d like to touch on this incident from High School. It deserves its own post, but since I post so often these days, might as well at least get it out of the bag, and then come back to it later.

My senior year of high school I had a Hapa moment in person, face to face. If the basic Hapa idea is you are an Asiaphile White nerd, who thinks Hapas are shit, your own son is going to be Hapa. I was on the Track Team. And we had this really obnoxious white guy, with that cracked nerd voice, right out of the movies. But he was good at running, and very arrogant. Anyway he was rude to me. So I said to him “be careful, you might have a son like me”. The track team was full of Asians. And the Asian guys were actually totally cool with hanging out with a Asiaphile white guy. It was the Hapa, who challenged it. I was just starting to read up on this stuff on the internet. And I found out that “Rice King” was the term for gay white men into Asians. And I let everyone on the team know it, and they started using it. They asked me, if my dad was a Rice King. Long before I had this blog, I was making the basic point of it, to white guy’s faces. I had no awareness of how bad the situation was for Asian men. If anything I saw more AMWF in high school. This cute, athletic, Track white girl was dating another Asian guy from the Track team. And he wasn’t exactly one of the Super Asians, breaking all the stereotypes. I even had a lot of resentment and jealously towards the AMWF Hapa jock bragging about his white gf giving him bjs. We even came to blows, probably in part because of my envy.

I wasn’t pro-AMWF Hapa, anti-WMAF Hapa at that point. Remember the article about how just throw a football at a Hapa and you can tell if hes AMWF or WMAF? Well, me and this guy, were living proof of that axiom. But I wasn’t exactly cheering on AMWF Hapas. I would have preferred him just being an Asian guy. I met his white mom. And then I went back to school, letting everyone know how disappointed I was, that my Colored Hero, was half white. I said I needed to search for a new non-white hero. The fact that his whiteness came from his mom’s side, didn’t redeem him. He was a jock much stronger than me. And we worked together over the summer. And we got into a shoving match. I considered it a great victory that I had “fought him to a draw”. I drove off blasting “Ever the Same” on my car radio.

I know these stories don’t make me look good. But they aren’t meant to. They are meant to show my thought process evolving over time, before I got to my current stance on what it means to be Hapa, and what the source of Hapa oppression is.

White guys keep inviting us Hapas back to Asia, maybe we should go on a speaking tour

I’ve got yet another white guy inviting me back to Asia, to join him in exploiting the easiest, lowest standards girls in the world. These white guys all think its a big secret how easy they are. And they are revealing a hidden truth, that even Hapa losers in the West can do well in Asia. We know they are a race with no standards, thats why so many loser white nerds are creating Hapa sons. Hence our problems.

You know what? Maybe we Hapas should go on a trip to Asia. But the white guys will come to regret inviting us. We can go on a speaking tour across Asia, alerting billions of people, to the hellishness that WMAF has imposed on us. As Eurasians we can speak 1st hand to the hardship we endure as WMAF sons. If East Asians had any brains, this would be something worth investing in for them. There are hundreds of Eurasians in the West, ready to speak out about WMAF, if someone would only give them the opportunity. We could have a major impact on Asia, given the platform we are speaking from.

I’m so sick of WMAFs trying to propagandize us, all the virtues of Asian women. Its just another way, in which they are not a
relationship, but a dangerous, extremist political movement. What other relationship trys to recruit people into it? If I liked Redheads, I wouldn’t start a Redhead club, and write whole fucking essays on the virtues of Celtic Green eyed beauties.

According to Cali Hapa girl, Asian women are the same way in trying to recruit people into WMAF. They have their own little WMAF club, and they tried to bring her in. They used her as a trophy since she was a WMAF daughter. Asian women are always trying to tell other women, how bad Asian men are; and recruit more Asians into WMAF. And I guess since we Hapas are half-white we are being recruited towards Asian girls. The same way that Cali Hapa girl was recruited towards white men. It is incredibly disgusting. This perverted freak, tried to tell me how hot my 3/4 Asian daughters would be. I don’t want Asian daughters. But even if I did, I wouldn’t be one of these WMAF pervert incest freaks, sexualizing my own daughters. And this is exactly what WMAF does. It is very disgusting and vile, and the wider society should be ashamed for letting it happen.

Aw Hell. You got me so pissed off, you have me writing again. But their degeneracy really grinds my gears. I wouldn’t mind being Eurasian, if I could have nothing to do with WMAF, if we were just on totally separate pages. But thats impossible, I’m a WMAF son. And in hating WMAF as the worst evil in the world, sure it is self-hatred, since thats my very origins. This whole WMAF club, is all the more reason to hate them. Because WMAF wants to sell the worth of White males and Asian females to the world. And this is what trying to recruit us Hapa males is all about. Just like Asian women try to recruit Hapa girls to like white guys, as Cali Hapa girl will tell you. Its the WMAF club.

I tried to tell myself, that WMAF isn’t about me. After all, I like white girls, so why should I care what Asian girls do? Some full Asian guys, who don’t want to judge WMAF, try to look on the bright side and say its a good thing “more white girls for me”. That is naive. WMAF is about me. And these WMAF perverts trying to sell Asians to me, thats all part of their club. Their campaign, their political movement. Like I said, its not just a relationship. A relationship doesn’t need to recruit others to enjoy redheads. Its about putting down Asian men and western women. I can read between the lines. The reason Asian women are the easiest in the world, is because their ‘natural partners’ Asian men, are the worst men in the world, and so even a Hapa loser like me, could supposedly outcompete them in Asia. After all if white betas, can do it, why not Half-White betas? So you see WMAF is about destroying Asian men. Ensuring that they can date no one, including non-Asian women. WMAF is directly responsible for the lack of AMWF. Its an inverse relationship. WMAFs will tell white women not to date Asian men. And they will tell Hapas like me, to give up on white women and go for Asians.

Its always white guys telling Hapas, that we are so desired in Asia. Not the other half of the WMAF gruesome twosome. I’ve never seen Asian women say they are attracted to Hapas. Asian women either like full Asian men or they worship white men. The white-worshiping Asian women want OTHER Asian women to find Hapas attractive. They will say “Hapas are very attractive in Asia”. But they will never say “I’m attracted to Half-Asian men”. They can’t use attracted to and Asian in the same sentence. They want some other sucker fool to date their loser sons. But they are too smart for it, they are going for pure white. What kind of white-worshiper wants 3/4 Asian sons? WMAFs sell the idea that Eurasians are attractive. But they want some other sucker to be attracted to Hapas.

This is all part of their evil plan. And they are already making plans to go after my hypothetical daughters, who are never going to exist. I mostly lean towards my Asian looks, but the one place I consider myself white is with Asians. And as I regard WMAF as the greatest evil in the world, the last thing I would ever want is a WMAF of my own. I’m just not attracted to them, and this was the case even before I became enlightened on racial issues. If anything back in Middle School I was even more sexually racist. I had a crush on Jessica Alba, and then suddenly she was repulsive to me, when I found out she wasn’t white. This wasn’t a conscious ideology or anything, being non-white just ruined her for me. I just had it fixed from childhood that the only women who were women, were white girls. I don’t regret my childhood immaturity. Anymore than I regret being ashamed of being Asian in Elementary school. Being ashamed of having an Asian mom, and wanting to constantly sell my white side. Because these childhood instincts, were proven 100% right by my adult life. It was not silly of me to be ashamed to have an Asian mom. I will say whatever I want against Asian women, and I don’t consider it racist or sexist. Nothing I say against White Males can be racist; and the same goes for their allies and auxiliaries, which is what Asian women en masse have chosen to be. Criticizing Asian women is anti-racist and Feminist; since Asian women are nothing but a tool to keep down colored people and western women. White men who are attracted to Asia, are the most disgusting fiends in the world. And so I wont hold back from criticizing Asia, in that there must be something very wrong with Asia if it attracts the worst of the West. I used to see Asia as an alternative to the West, but I now see its rotten to the very core, because of all the white maggots and flies circling around it. I judge that the fruit is spoiled, from all the rancid flies.

I identify more with my Asian male side, since thats what I look like and thats what society treats me as. But now that I have seen actual pictures of WMAF sons and not fakes like Keanu Reeves and Dean Cain (with full white moms from 2 generations of AMWF). Now I see I’m not the most Asian-looking Hapa around. Yeah I’m on the Asian-leaning side, and there are certainly Hapas whiter looking than me. But there are plenty of Hapas who look practically full Asian. And its not like the white-looking Hapas turn out well. Some of the worst Hapa criminals don’t look very Asian. And that other Eurasian blogger, says he can practically pass for white. So its not like your rolling the dice on having a white-looking son. Since as of now, the worst incidents involving Hapas are more on the white-looking side. Its not just about physical looks, the psychology is a big deal too.

I probably didn’t even need to write this post on how bad WMAF is again. Since they do a good enough a job on their own of making themselves look horrible. The only ones who have ever tried to push me towards Asians, are my parents, and you anonymous WMAFs on the internet. While I have a lot to bash my white peers on, at least they always assumed if I was going to be dating anyone, it would be a white girl.

Just go read r/Hapas

What is the purpose of this blog in the era of r/Hapas? When I 1st returned to this blog, I was in a period of extreme angst and despair. I’m still pretty down, but here I still am. I’m not sure if I really had much to add over anything I had written in 2011, but most of this blog was actually written in 2014. I doubled my posts since then. I did write a little more about my personal autobiographical issues. But the problem for a blog called Stuff Eurasians Likes, is that the more it becomes about SEL, the less it is about Eurasians. And that always was the goal of my critics from Day 1 wasn’t it? To reduce this to just being me. I have had a number of ideas of posts I could make about various Eurasian and personal issues, or better yet personal stories about being Eurasian. But the momentum of r/Hapas is such, that I’ve kinda taken a lazy “why bother?”; attitude that this blog is rather insignificant in an age in which r/Hapas has already absorbed all of my insights, and taken them even further. Anything I say about Hapas, would be tracking over old 2011 ground and be tame compared to some of the stuff on r/Hapas anyway.

For a long time, after I abandoned this blog 2011-2014 the comments section of SEML, served as a proto-forum in itself. And a lot of interesting discussions took place there without my presence. In that time, the comments section might very well have generated more text than my actual writings. And this played an important part in raising Eurasian consciousness, beyond my personal ventings as an individual. When I returned in 2014, I did my part in promoting the growth of r/Hapas. I believe it had already been linked in my comments section, before I even returned. But I did do a number of links to r/Hapas. When people were making a lot of personal attacks on me in 2014, I desperately appealed to them to look at r/Hapas, and see all the evidence that these are the problems of Eurasians as a race and not just me personally. Remember that at that stage in 2014, r/Hapas was nothing but links. r/Hapas has since become much more than that. And honestly I’m not sure if I have anything more to say when r/Hapas has said it all. At least on Eurasian issues I feel like r/Hapas and EurasianWriter have it covered.

Maybe if I feel like it, I will share more stories about me being Eurasian. Some of it could be of interest in seeing the road of how I got from there to here. Eurasian Writer gives me a lot of credit in getting the ball rolling for Hapas, and I thank him for that. Of course, I can’t take all the credit, and as the links from r/Hapas has shown there were Eurasians saying things similar to me long before 2011. But to take credit where its due, I was the 1st to put it in such a concentrated form and to give it a theoretical underpinning. Some guy from Urban Dictionary had already put it perfectly in 2010. The basic Hapa paradox. That WMAF is often very anti-Asian male, and yet to White society, we WMAF Hapa sons ARE Asian males. Thats the case in a nutshell, and theres not much you can say to refute it. You can deny WMAF is anti-Asian male, or you can deny that Hapas are treated as Asian males, but those are empirical questions. And thats why its a good thing that so many other Hapas have emerged to provide the facts on those questions.

One comment Eurasian Writer made that I really appreciated was, when I said something about him finding my blog in 2014, he said that no actually he had been reading it from the beginning in 2011. To the best of my knowledge he never commented in all that time, but he was taking it all in. And in 2014 he emerged as one of the greatest voices of Eurasians, picking up where i had left off, but with a renewed intensity. And so even though he was silent 2011-4, he was deeply affected, and would someday emerge as one of our greatest champions. And so this story, gives me confidence that there are other Eurasians out there, maybe not commenting or being actively engaged. But just being quiet lurkers reading and absorbing. And you never know, who they could be in the next few years. They might emerge as someone even more militant than the 2 of us. And now in 2015, they have so many more resources than they did in 2011. Its far from just me anymore. I’ve practically been pushed into the sidelines. Which is a good thing. In 2011 I was just saying we Eurasians have a problem. And that was a big deal back then. But in 2015, thats almost a given, and now there are so many conversations taking place on how to deal with the problem. Eurasians can’t be shoved under the rug anymore.

As far as coming to a solution, we are in some ways just as far away now as we were in 2011. But thats ok. As more and more Eurasians put their minds to this effort, I’m confident that we will come up with something. It is a complex issue, it gets on a lot of people’s nerves. You have to walk on tip toes, because otherwise you can say some very un-PC stuff that people will use against you. Even me, I’ve tried to be fair and moderate since, coming back, and I still get attacked as a lunatic, and lumped in with the most extreme of the bunch. So trying to play fair and be level-headed doesn’t win me much brownie points. Just broaching the issue makes you the enemy of some powerful interests. If I could sum up I would just say “don’t be racist against your own sons.” But of course that doesn’t close the conversation it just opens up a can of worms, on exactly that it means to be racist against your own sons.

So I might eventually return to this blog, and make some more substantive posts about my life and Eurasian issues. I have been pretty down and want to let it all out. But if I do feel, that its all been said already and theres not much for me to add, thats just a symptom of the success of Eurasians. It is far beyond me now. And thats a good thing. It shouldn’t be about me, it never should have been about me. So I’m glad I’m in the sidelines. Because this is a Eurasian issue, not a me issue. And maybe since Eurasian issues are being taken care of so well in other places, maybe I’ll feel more comfortable talking more about me as a Eurasian, and not the race in general. Ultimately the only Judge and Arbitrator can be the Eurasian People themselves. No one else. They have the reasoning, evidence, anecdotes. And they are the ones who will decide whether it speaks to their own life experiences. A large number of them have already voted that it does. And I believe that these views are grounded in the lived experiences of Eurasians, and that the vast majority will say it is True to them.

I don’t have all the answers to the problem, I just asked the questions and set forth the problem. But I believe that the Eurasian People as a whole, coming together to address these problems will find a way, will find an answer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/

Plenty of Eurasians look much more Asian than me

When I started this blog in 2011, a big sticking point for me, was you WMAFs all hate on Asian men, yet I’m an Asian-looking son of WMAF, so don’t you get how you’re tormenting your own sons? At that point, I would have very much put myself strongly in the more Asian looking side of Eurasians. Its true to many people, all they see in me is the Asian guy. But there are also many people who instantly see I’m mixed. And occasionally people who don’t see me as Asian at all. Mostly Latino though. I can only recall one incident where someone thought I was just white and were surprised that I was Asian. He thought I was an Italian. And this was during my famous blonde flirting of 2011, when I was behaving like a guido meathead. And so perhaps behavior can be just as influential in perceptions as phenotype.

Anyway this was at a time when I was comparing myself to the model Eurasians of Dean Cain Tanaka and Keanu Reeves. I believe even in 2011, I mentioned that Keanu wasn’t really a Eurasian, but I didn’t make a huge issue out of it. I’ve really come to hate Keanu Reeves. Nothing personal against him as an actor, but as WMAF disinformation hes become the bane of my existence. For the whole 21st century. I’ve constantly had him shoved in my face as the perfect Eurasian. Yes, compared to him I’ve an extremely Asian looking Hapa. But hes the wrong comparison. According to my last post hes 12% Asian, another source claims him as little as 3%, plus he has a full White mom. So yes compared to a 3% Asian, of course I’m going to be much more Asian looking. If I’ve accomplished one thing with this blog, hopefully none of you will ever mention Keanu Reeves again as a Eurasian.

As far as the White-Asian spectrum for Hapas goes, I would probably still put myself on the Asian-leaning side. But on a bell curve of the population I would put myself more at 57% rather than 75%. In the time since 2011, exploring the Hapa issue, I’ve had the opportunity to see what WMAF offspring really look like. And most of them are extremely Asian looking. As Asian as Obama is Black. The facial features are very Asian. And the defining characteristic of Asians, the slanted eyes. Very many Eurasians, have even more strongly slanted eyes than I do. They have the pure Asian eyes, of the Northeast Asians, the Koreans and Japanese. Its funny. This one time I was looking at myself in the mirror and I noticed the fold of my eyelids. And I said Thats it! Thats what makes me Asian. I have the fold, and the white roundeyes they don’t. But I was wrong. Its the exact opposite. And all the South Koreans spend thousands just go get that fold. The fold makes you less Asian. And I notice that quite a few of the Eurasian mixes, don’t have that fold. There was that disgusting Asian woman on Facebook, bragging about how white her Eurasian baby was. And to me he looked like a pure Asian boy. Far more Asian looking that my baby pictures. So the Asian women who most worship white men, have sons who look much more Asian than me.

On some level this Eurasian business is an empirical question. If Eurasian children came out looking like little whites, then maybe this wouldn’t be a problem. And certainly WMAF wishes their children would be white. If it turns out however, that the vast majority of Eurasians look strongly Asian, then all the arguments I’ve made about Hapa problems, they all follow. I would still place myself on the more Asian leaning side of the Hapa population. But having reconsidered the issue, having actually seen the pictures of WMAF sons, I would say that I’m by no means an outlier. And if there are many Eurasians who are whiter looking than me, there also many who are even more Asian looking me. Eurasians look Asian, and even more importantly than the phenotype, they are treated by White Society as Asian. And if that fact is proved, then everything else I have claimed, follows naturally.

IF Eurasians are identified as Asian, by most of White Society, then everything I say follows as an inevitable consequence.

Why White Mothers are superior to Asian Mothers for Eurasian cubs

Amy Chua wrote her infamous article “Why Chinese mothers are superior” and as the Tiger Mom she became the defining voice for White America of Chinese and Asian-American culture. I disgaree with universalizing the WMAF experience into somehow speaking for all Asians. I think WMAF speaks for WMAF. And the Tiger Mom experience specifically relates to how WMAF parents raise their Hapa kids. Likewise I wrote an article in 2011 “White moms love their children, Asian moms hate their Tiger Kids”. This article was likewise interpreted as applying
universalizing to all white and Asian women. Although I only intended it to apply to white and Asian moms raising Eurasian children. Obviously White Moms, married to Asian dads, and raising Hapa kids is a tiny minority, and can’t be considered typical of the white population.

However as a subgroup, I have noticed at least from polling my blog comments, that white moms actually care about the feelings of their Hapa sons, while Asian moms coolly dismiss it. A White dad from Halfsigma posting here, find something to praise in the Oriental female character, in her steely determination to ignore feelings, while the white mom embodied the decadence of the West, by caring about children’s emotions. As a person, I felt bad troubling these brave white women, who get enough hate for marrying the most despised race of men. But as an empiricist, this just added more data to my studies in the difference between WMAF and AMWF child-raising.

The complete and total failure of WMAF sons as a population is one of the most covered up stories in the world today. I don’t want to sound like a tinfoil hat conspiracist, but it really does seem like there was a deliberate disinfo campaign to use Keanu Reeves and Dean Cain Tanaka with their full white moms, as the posterboys for WMAF couples. Now all the dirty secrets about WMAF families are coming out, and WMAF couples are mad as hell about it, aggressively attacking any Hapa sons who speak out. WMAF is always bragging about how they are the richest, most common coupling. This is supposed to prove that they are normal nay superior. Lets accept these facts. The fact that wealth, education, and numbers has failed to produce a single Eurasian success story is a striking blow against them.

Poor Wilkes McDermid was a Eurasian son driven insane by the interracial dating disparity. In a way documenting the vast gulf between AMWF and WMAF sons is honoring Wilkes legacy. He was a Eurasian who made his public suicide driven into despair by the cruelty of his WMAF birth. Some people think its ridiculous to be driven to suicide by internet dating disparities. But if you are told your entire life your manhood is worthless, why live? If its not an official study, then you will just dismiss it as anecdotes. It has always been my impression, in spite of any official stats, that the WMAF to AMWF disparity was 100:1. I never actually counted. Wilkes McDermid actually counted, and invited his friends to come with him to count. The ratio he got was 99:1. I believe him. He is dead, he has no reason to lie. And his London observations match what I’ve seen personally in America. With a 100:1 advantage in population for WMAF, what does it mean that there is a 100:1 advantage for AMWF in celebrities and success stories? Does it mean that an AMWF son is 1000 times superior to a WMAF son?

Then these WMAF apologists will make excuses why its impossible to name a single success. They will claim there are so few WMAF couples around. So few Eurasians. Yeah, and other times they brag that they are the most common, most rich couple, to make themselves seem normal. With all that money and numbers you can’t make a single son of note? Only when naming success stories are WMAF numbers tiny. When all the deranged, criminal, psychotic Eurasians of the past year are named, then this is just a drop in the bucket out of the millions of millions of WMAF sons. When asked to name good WMAF Hapas, there are only a few hundred in the world apparently. And what about AMWF? If anyone is rare, tiny in numbers, it is AMWF. So why is it possible to name successful AMWF sons? My point is not to make a pissing contest between AMWF and WMAF sons. Rather this is evidence about how the abusive nature of the WMAF relationship dooms all WMAF sons to failure. The world needs to know this. It enrages me, that all this is going on in 2015 America, and the world turns a blind eye to it. Its a big deal what WMAF couples are doing to their Eurasian sons.

Why is it that white mothers are capable of loving their-half Asian sons, and identifying with their Asian issues, while Asian mothers, who are freaking Asian themselves, are unable to do this for their sons?

The dirty dark secrets of WMAF families could not be kept secret forever. Eurasian boys are all grown up now, and they are speaking out in record numbers. The momentum is growing. People are noticing.

I wish I could just have a neutral observer here, not a white or Asian, maybe a white woman or Black person. Someone with no skin in the game. Let them look at all the evidence and judge. Are we Eurasians crazy or do we have a case? IMHO any good faith neutral observer looking at the data, would have to concede we have a major Eurasian crisis on our hands. The more white men and Asian women attack their own children in public, the more their true ugliness is being displayed for the whole world to see.

The Racist Tourette’s of WMAF couples

Its ironic that in some of my recent posts I have actually found myself in the position of actually defending my WMAF parents somewhat, in explaining that no they are not the stereotypical bad WMAF couple. I guess to some extent this is a mark of how things have changed. Eurasian issues are very much in the air now. And the arguments of this blog and others have sunk in. People are realizing just how toxic WMAF couples are and the impact this has on their children. And compared to what other Eurasians are now saying, I’ve become actually something of the centrist-moderate. I don’t think this is because of any change or mellowing or softening on my part. If you go back to my 2011 posts, you will find old posts saying the exact same thing. And I think its important that clear lines be drawn on this issue, not just for personal reasons, but to understand the Hapa phenomenon as a sociological trend.

I have read the blogs and comments, of those who do come from the stereotypically bad, classic WMAF couples. Its pretty heart-wrenching, and the results are what you would expect from the offspring of a relationship that hates them. These Eurasians have a powerful role to play in giving testimony against the crimes of their parents. However it is to easy for a WMAF couple to then say, well thats not me. I’m one of the good ones. I’m sorry you had terrible, shitty, parents, but its wrong of you to blame all WMAF couples for the experiences of your parents as individuals. And thats why its important to me to state clearly, that no it is you bad WMAF couples who have made me hate my parents. Where my parents, do in anyway adhere to WMAF tropes, I have not been shy about exposing them on this blog, and airing all of our family dirty laundry. There aren’t all that many skeletons. And I hold them to a very high standard of political correctness, calling them out for even implicitly racist assumptions. In their defense, this is a very high standard that few people could probably meet. Imagine having political-level coverage, inside your own home 24/7, seizing on the racist implications of any statement you make in privacy.

So yeah, for the Hapa children of bad, racist, sexist, WMAF couples, there will always be “Good” WMAF couples, saying they are being unfairly tarred. And this brings me to the larger point of this post which is the racist Tourette’s of these “good” WMAF couples. I’m referring to those WMAF defenders and apologists, who post on the comments section here and on other Hapa sites. These WMAFs have every incentive to show themselves in the best possible light. As its all anonymous, all they have to do is not be racist for 2 paragraphs, and they can at least appear to be decent people who just happen to have intermarried. But this simple, easy standard, it has been impossible for any WMAF couple to meet. Its really shocking. And this is them on their best behavior, trying to pretend that their relationship is based on colorblind live and not racism and sexism. They are trying to prove they can be good parents to Half-Asian children. And yet these degenerates can’t go 2 seconds, without dropping extremely offensive, racist, sexist, outrages. And this is them on their best behavior trying to prove they are not racist but just starcrossed lovers. It amazes me. Every single WMAF apologist, without fail, will drop some extremist, racist, imperialist, colonialist, sexist, far right statement, while they are trying to prove the exact opposite. At this point, its so against their own self-interest that it seems almost like a pathology. A racist sexist Tourette’s syndrome. If this is them showing their best public face to political correctness, one can only imagine what monsters they are off screen. And these are the parents of Eurasian kids. They can’t type 2 lines, without extreme racism against their own children.

Just for once, it would be nice if there was a genuinely decent white guy, who just happened to meet a woman, who happened to be Asian, and there wasn’t any sexism, imperialism, racism involved. But at least on the internet that seems utterly impossible. White men who like Asian women, seem unable to control their racist Tourette’s. They can’t go 2 seconds, without going on a rant against western women and people of color. It amazes me. And its not to say its all clear sailing for the decent white guy. I consider my parents to basically be in that category, and yet I’m the one who started this freaking blog. The racial and sexual categories do matter irregardless of individuals. But WMAF couples seem to be unable to muster an ounce of decency on the individual level. They are incredible hypocrites when they attack the Hapa sons of “bad parents”, since they are the textbook example of the bad couple themselves. At this point a “good” decent, colorblind WMAF couple is a purely theoretical concept, a unicorn. At least on the internet, which seems to bring out the worst in people. But its not like WMAF is bad online, but happy and shiny in real life. These are the views of offline WMAF couples.

It wasn’t my intention to demonize all WMAF couples. I wanted to say that if your relationship is based on racism and sexism against your own children, you are a monster, and you are going to have big problems. But the longer my blog remains online, the more comments I get, the more public Eurasian problems become, the more I see that the overwhelming majority of WMAF couples really are monstrous. Based on the worst trash of 21st century society. The type of pure undiluted racism and sexism, you thought was left behind in 1945. A new type of sexualized racism, that traditional narratives of black-white racism are not fit to cover. There is a bit of a generation gap in that their Hapa kids are still young and can’t talk back to them yet. Although for some weird reason, there are a lot of young Asian moms posting online about how their toddler Eurasian sons already hate them. But that aside, for the most part it is the Eurasians born in the late 1990s and early 2000s, a period from which the Eurasian population doubles, who are just coming of age now, and beginning to come to grips with the hell they are in. It is an exciting time, but a tragic time, don’t be surprised by the extreme bitterness that is going to come out of them. I encourage any skeptics, to not take my word for it. Do a little googling on your own and see what WMAF couples are about. And then ask if its so shocking that Eurasians are so full of deep psychological issues.

The Boy Luck Club

A whole generation of Asian-American women writers have defined Asian identity through their Joy Luck Club imitation knock offs. Now at last the long awaited sequel has emerged the Boy Luck Club. If the Amy Tans wrote of the revolt of Yellow Feminism, in alliance with White MRA Husbands, against Asian Patriarchy. Now their sons are writing of their revolt against Tiger Mom. The rebels have become the Dragon Queens, and are facing new rebels in turn. The cycles of the Mandate of Heaven. The torch has been passed to a brave new generation. These Asian women are old hags now, and with youthful energy their Eurasian offspring are seizing the microphone out of their hands to be the new voice of Asian-America. I’m not saying its right for half-whites to speak for Asian-America. But it has been passed as hereditary property. The last generation of Asian-Americans was ruled by Asian women married to white men. And so its only natural that their Eurasian children inherit the dragon throne.

With all the talk of heroines revolting against Confucian patriarchy, Asian-Americans are the most matriarchal race in America. Ruled under the iron heel of the Dragon Lady, Tiger Mom. What other race has universally females as their face representing them in politics, civil rights activism, law, art, literature, culture, news, television, media etc? Whenever an Asian-America is called to speak on any issue, it is always a woman. A Feminist study critiques the fact that men are overrepresented in television, for all races except Asians of course. Except Asians could be the corollary to all sociological studies. Asian-America is ruled under the iron fist of the the Tiger Mom and her white husbands. When Donald Trump wants to understand the sneaky Chinese mind he turns to a whole list of fiction and non-fiction written by Asian women and their white husbands. When George W. Bush wants to understand Asian history, he turns to Jung Chang and her white husband. When White America wants to understand the
“traditional” Chinese family, they turn to Amy Chua and her white husband. All these women are old hags now. Its time for their Hapa children to speak.

When we Hapas were still young and in our diapers. When our moms could still point to the miracle of a “cute baby” and not the embarrassing gaping absence of cute Hapa adult men. Asian women tried to speak for their Eurasian children the same way they have spoken for Asian men. Asian women post baby pictures for their Hapa sons, and even write dialogue for their sons, about how they have personalities just like mommy. Asian-American women novelists wrote stories of their Eurasian children being bridges between worlds. But now we Hapas are all grown up and we have seized the microphone right out of mommy’s hands. Eurasians are speaking for themselves, and this scares the shit out of white men and Asian women. The alliance of White MRAs and Yellow Feminism has been exposed. They tried to play both sides. Asian women sold WMAF as liberal and feminist, while white men sold WMAF as conservative and anti-feminist. Now they are collapsing on both fronts. Both Feminist and White Nationalist women are shinning a light on WMAF tyranny. They tried to be all things to all people, now they are collapsing on all sides.

Eurasians are the rebels now. Once our moms rebelled against their traditional Confucian parents, now we are rebelling against them. They have given us a bully pulpit. It is a great irony, that now that so many insane Eurasians are hitting the news, Asian women are doing more than anyone to draw attention to it. They are saying that Eurasian sons are an important part of the Asian-American community, and that the crisis of their sons, is a crisis that the entire Asian-American community needs to face. There is article after article by Asian women about the insanity of Eurasian sons, and how all Asians need to deal with this crisis. They are the ones who want to make their sons the posterboy for Asian-America. But they aren’t going to like what Eurasians have to say.

I don’t need an Asian-American woman novelist to speak for me, and write a book with me as a character, a puppet on her strings following her script. I can speak for myself. And more and more Hapas are hitting their late teens and early 20s and also speaking up now. No longer will they hide behind Tiger mommy’s skirt and let her do the talking for them. Its all bubbling to the surface now. The dark secrets of the WMAF family, all the dirty laundry is being aired.

It is fitting that Eurasians are the creation of women novelists. Because Eurasians are an idea that looks good on paper, but doesn’t work in reality. When faced with the overwhelming evidence of Hapa failure, the response is always it SHOULD work. These are the 2 best, most intelligent races mating, only good things should come out of it, empirical facts be damned. Hapas were fine when they were characters in Asian-American literature. Now that we are writing our own stories, our parents don’t like where this story is going to end.

Eurasians are born from the worst racial coupling ever

Even more so then when I began this blog, I have become more convinced than ever through an overwhelming data vomit of evidence that the White male Asian female coupling is a relationship of pure evil. That everything that can possibly be bad about the male and female character is united together in the relationship from hell of WMAF. IDK if this applies to every last WMAF couple in the world, but certainly any white guy on the internet who posts about his Asian wife, under any circumstances, is always vile. Why should I even care? White women I actually like. But Asian women have taken on the form of demonic satanic succubi for me. If the most evil women in the world want to hook up with the most evil men in the world, I shouldn’t lose any sleep over it. I’m not crying or White Knighting over poor, innocent, Asian victims being manipulated or taken advantage of by evil White PUAs. No, Asian women, are more demonic succubi than actual women to me at this point. Why should I care?

Yeah, its a shame that these evil couplings are creating Eurasian kids. And thats why it should be no mystery to anyone, on why every single Eurasian son in history has been a failure. Why WMAF couples have to steal AMWF sons as part of their disinfo. Why WMAF couples began a whole disinfo campaign about Keanu Reaves and Dean Cain Tanaka being WMAF sons, despite both having pure white moms. I’m not the savior of the Eurasian race, although perhaps at times I have written as though I have. I’ve reached a fairly large audience at this point. Anyone googling on Hapa issues can relatively easily find me. Hapas are on their own and will have to decide themselves whether they are for or against their parents. I’m not exactly a neutral fly on the wall in this battle, as I’ve done much to define the contrary Hapa voice. But ultimately I can only lead Hapas to water, can’t make them drink. The vast majority of Hapas seem to agree with me. Some sign on 100%. But what intrigues me more, is that even the Hapas who most militantly disagree, don’t deny my facts. They admit that being Hapa is terrible. And some of them have stories much more awful than my own. The only difference is they believe in positive thinking and moving passed the bitterness. But the point is, that while white guys try to deny my voice, even my Hapa opponents admit that being Eurasian is hellish.

I’ve got to stop driving myself insane with these WMAF issues. Look if the most evil men and women, want to get together, let them torture each other. And as for the innocent Hapa kids they bring into their sadism. Well, Hapas will have to find their own voice. I’ve done more than my share. Its not my job to save every Hapa in the world from his own parents. When he hits his teens, and starts becoming aware of these issues, he’ll figure it out for himself. As someone who has repeatedly said my own parents are relatively benign, I would think that the children of stereotypical WMAF couples would figure it out more quickly than me, since its staring them in the face. Pop culture and the internet played a big role in me coming to these ideas. Honestly, if my parents were the only WMAF couple in the world, which for many years it felt like, then I’d have never come to such rage. This is due to WMAF as a sociological fact, not my parents personally.

So this is my way of making peace with hell. If satanic males and females want to get together to share their common interest in torturing babies, let them enjoy each others demonic company. As for the Eurasian kids enslaved by these sick perverts. Let Eurasians find their own voice, let them do something about it. And since WMAF couples seem like the worst type of Tiger parents, who long to live vicariously through their cute Hapa babies, before they are even born. The horrific track record of Eurasian failure, seems like genetic just deserts. Even if not so fun to be an instrument of Nature’s humor.

Most Eurasians have it much worse than me

I’m overdosing on empathy. I don’t mean this to trumpet my own horn as some kind of Saint. What is my greatest weakness? I care too much.

No, I’m using empathy in a purely technical term without any moral connotations. Harkening back to the original German etymology of empathy from Einfühlung (“feeling into”). I think that is the problem I’m feeling into too much. Putting myself in hypothetical shoes. And extremely tight painful shoes at that. The empathy I feel is towards the children of Bad WMAF. The classic white nazi anti-feminist dad and self-hating castrating Tiger Mom. For the most part I don’t feel my parents fall into this in anyway. They aren’t perfect, they have WMAF privilege, and I have not been shy about calling them out viciously whenever they the least bit exploit these privileges. But they are not the classic WMAF stereotype of the media, Hollywood, history, statistics, anecdotes, novels, celebrities, history, the internet etc. But in my overdose of empathy, all I can do is see myself as the Eurasian son of all those nasty couples. What it must feel like to have parents like that. And thats why I get so enraged over it. How dare you talk like that about Asian men, when your own Half-Asian son, will have to endure that life. It is though I became the son of every single WMAF couples in the world. Every single discussion about WMAF or Hapas became about me personally. It was as though I were the incarnation of every single Hapa in the world.

I started blogging again around Thanksgiving. And despite playing devil’s advocate about the pros of my situation. I couldn’t think of anything to be thankful for. I acknowledged yes, there are plenty of times and places which were worse than my own. But living in the 1st world, there was no race worse to be than a WMAF son. And no sophisms could change that. That was my frame of reference comparing Eurasians to all other races. Well, here is another frame of reference. Comparing me as an individual to all other Eurasians. In this r/Hapas has cheered me up. Misery loves company. I don’t want to say that I feel superior in anyway to the Hapas who suffer there. But I acknowledge that I have not experienced the same degree of racism from either my parents, peers, or society in general as expressed there. They really make it sound like being Eurasian in America today is like being a Black in 1920s Alabama. They are constantly taunted and even physically assaulted. What got me, is that these comments were not even coming from one of the “Woe is me” bitter Hapas. No, these were the positive, chin up, Hapas. The ones saying cheer up, its not that bad. Oh sure, I got called Chink and Gook all the time, rejected by girls who openly hated Asians, and jumped by racist classmates. But really guys being Hapa isn’t that bad. Sure my parents, were the classic WMAF couple who hated Asian men. But we don’t need to be dwelling on our misery.

Now I don’t agree with that level of turn the other cheek positivity. But it does put my own pain in perspective. Many Eurasians have had it much worse than me. The very fact, that what I say about Eurasians as a race is true, actually makes my own personal situation look better in perspective. I’v very thin-skinned about racism and not one to laugh off a joke. And yet, even I must admit that the racism I experienced has been relatively mild compared to these other Hapas. I’ve never been called a racial slur in my entire life, which seems to be a daily experience for these Hapas. I’ve never had any racist experiences with Asian women. I’ve never had a white girl reject me openly based on race. With each individual rejection, I felt I was being rejected respectfully as an individual person. I didn’t feel at the time that race played any role. It is only mulling over statistics in aggregate, that I begin to feel that subconscious hatred of Hapas, must have been driving rejection behind the scenes. Its weird that me with my negative attitude has had much less negative experiences than the Hapas trying to have a positive attitude. The Hapas saying “its not that bad” have had worse racism than me.

The other thing that got to me, is that some of these Hapas might belong to supposedly “privileged” categories. For example even the self-described white-looking Eurasians, have experienced much more direct open racism for their Asian features than I an Asian-looking Hapa has. I have never pretended that Hapa girls have it easy, like the “Abort your sons and its all good” crowd. But I have kind of felt that Hapa guys get more hate, the same way Asian guys get more hate. And anti-Hapa girl racism, is more the sexual fetishization variety of racism reserved for females. But no, the Eurasian girls described openly hostile aggressive racist bullying, that we might associated with boys. People just yelling out racial slurs at them on the playground. There is nothing fetishizing about that. Its just violent racial bullying like Hapa boys get.

I’m not saying the situation is good for Hapas, in fact I’m saying its terrible. But in a way that does put my own situation in perspective. So much of my fear of racism, is almost like preemptive reaction. I know racism is coming and so I’m fighting back before it even happens. But for so many of these Hapas its not a future contingent possibility or a hypothetical or sociological data, it theirs personal experiences and childhood memories. And the few racist incidents I endure seem relatively mild, compared to the bombardment they suffer under. I got a reputation as one of the most bitter Eurasian blogger, at least until some friendly competition has been emerging over the last year. But it seems like I have endured some of the least racism of any Hapa, at least compared to the Hapas who post at r/Hapas. Even the white-looking Hapas all talk about how girls openly tell them, they don’t like Asians. And I’ve been rejected plenty of times, any I’ve never felt in person that I was not being respected as a human being. Its only looking at sociology, that I feel that subconsciously it must have been statistical racism. Nothing is settled here, but I do appreciate having lived one of the least racist Eurasian lives possible. I’m not saying “its not that bad”. All my complaints about my own life still stand, their lives are just worse. They are the ones with the horror stories.

I don’t want to make it into “Eurasian World Problems”, oh those Hapas have it much worse than me, therefore I should be grateful for what I have and shut up. But yeah, even the white-looking Hapas, that I’m kind of jealous of, describe getting more hate for their Asianess than even I get.

I do feel empathy for the Hapas born out of the classically racist WMAF, even if they are not me. But ultimately that is going to be their own personal battle. I think it is reprehensible for parents to do that to their child, but thats going to be their battle. Just by having this blog, bringing up Eurasian issues, I’ve done all I can for them. The Eurasian genie is out of the bottle and these currents are very much in the air now. They are the ones who are going to suffer the most, not me. And I wish them the best, but I can’t and wont live their lives for them, and theres no point mentally torturing myself as though I’m.

The rantings of Bad WMAFs take a psychological toll on the sons of “Good” WMAFs

In the same day I can go whiplashing between 2 opposite extremes on the Eurasian issue. I can feel myself calming down, and feeling maybe I’m a little too harsh on my parents, just because they belong to a category with a lot of bad apples. But then on some random corner of the internet or media, where I thought I was safe, I will have the ugliest aspects of WMAF shoved in my face, and I will rage. How do I balance my desire to separate myself from the whole world of WMAF, with the extreme viciousness displayed by them?

One of the points I’m repeatedly emphasized is that old habits of White-Black binary oppositions don’t work for White-Asian issues. Its much more complex and multivaried. Hence, I’m often attacked for racism, by those seeing race in those traditional terms, as I try to untangle the web. So lets stop looking at WMAF as a binary opposition between evil WMAFs and good-leaning WMAFs. I consider my own parents to be among good-leaning WMAFs, but its hard for me to admit that there are any good WMAFs, when the structural racism of the bad ones corrupts them all. Why are there so many more “good” WMAFs than good AMWFs? These couplings don’t happen in one direction by accident. And so even if not subjectively malicious, there is definitely objective WMAF privilege in even the best of them.

Instead of Good WMAF vs Bad WMAF, lets look at it as a continuum. On one extreme lets hold the openly evil, racist, sexist, satanic WMAF. These couples actually do exist, and in rather large numbers. On the other hand are good-leaning WMAFs. Basically decent people, not perfect. Perhaps actively anti-racist to varying degrees. But still ultimately profiting from WMAF privilege. But its not either/or. The vast majority of WMAF is in the middle somewhere inbetween. Its my perception that the WMAF center leans much more towards the evil than good-leaning side. But they might not have the pure sadistic satanism as displayed by some WMAFs in my comments sections. Most WMAF couples lean towards, racism and sexism, but not with the fiery honesty of the most vicious of them. If the WMAF numbers lean overwhelming towards the bad side, what impact does this have on the good-leaning ones? Should what extent should they be judged for the crimes of their category? These are difficult issues, and deeply personal to me, as they directly impact how I treat my own family.

Why am I so bothered by evil WMAFs, how does it affect me? Suppose hypothetically all Black women hated Asian men. If Black women were known to especially despise Asians, and had a bunch of blogs about how disgusting Asian men were. Its never good to be attacked, but it wouldn’t cut so deep as WMAF attacks do. I don’t have any interest in Asian women, so why do their attacks mean so much? Well, part of the reason is races are just naturally paired together. This is
caricatured as patriarchal Asian men “owning” their women. But the truth is the opposite, de facto every other race of men “owns” their women accept Asians. Even WMAFs will rely on the trope that Asian men and women were “made for each other”, and thats why both have the smallest parts. In that sense Asian women hating Asian men, is a much more powerful message to the world than Black women would be. Now I wish the genders of a race were not associated with each other. If as a Eurasian male, I had nothing to do with Asian women, that would be wonderful. But thats not the case. For better or for worse the 2 sexes of each race are paired together. And since Asian women are the only women at the dance complaining about their partner, it sends a loud message to all men and women, that Asian men are the worse. And of course evil WMAFs are quite open in explicitly and loudly stating this implicit message.

And then these same WMAF couples go onto have kids, and WMAF issues become Hapa issues. Its a pretty ugly situation all around. And I wish more neutral, objective observers would take a good hard look at the issues I’m gesturing at, instead of just demonizing me as racist and insane. Look I’d love to see races break down, and us to become a big rainbow race. I once bought the lie that race-mixing helped undermine racism. But these just aren’t the facts on the ground. WMAF is quite clearly a power relationship based on domination. And no one suffers from it more than the Eurasian children. In an ideal world, races wouldn’t mean anything and there be tons of WMAF and AMWF. And not just White-Asians mixing as the “2 best races”, but all kinds of mixes with the rainbow. And while there wouldn’t be any strict 1:1 quota in mixings, the digressions would be based on random drift, and not structural power relations. As WMAF to AMWF is happening now, with an observed 100:1 ratio, it very much is about power, sexism, racism, and not rainbow love. I hope my readers can look into these specific issues, and not just write me off as a hater against mixing.

Being half-Asian makes me feel less than human.

Lets wrestle with these Eurasian issues. On the one hand I would like to put them behind me and forget about it. But there is no in front of me anymore. I see no hope in my life, and Hapa issues are the elephant in the room. Yes, Hapa issues depress me and get me down. But my whole life is down. We can say that Hapa issues are not a distraction from my other pursuits, but that all other pursuits are a distraction from Hapa issues. It is hopeless trying to self-censor myself and not come back to this blog. And theres no point in making it a battle of wills, since my self-discipline is utterly broken, now that I have nothing to hope for in this horrid world.

Is being Eurasian the be all end all? My personal flaws and the flaws of the race are not mutually incompatible. As I said last post, if we made a Venn diagram of stereotypically Asian traits and loser traits, there would be a perfect overlap. So lets say that being Half-Asian imposes a strict bamboo ceiling on my best possible life. Now I’m on the floor, in the basement. At the absolute bottom of human well-being and flourishing. Life has become hateful to me. Given the garbage cards I was dealt in life, could I have played them better? I will concede that its possible my life could have been marginally better. But I could also have made worse choices and made my life worse. I think the bamboo ceiling is pretty low. Back in 2009 I used to debate with myself whether life in 2009 was worth living. And my devil’s advocate could definitely score a few debating points over myself. If you can accept the culture and system, there is a lot to enjoy as an average or even below average American man in the 21st century. And it was these debates with myself that convinced me to give life another chance, when I was on the brink of suicide. But I was a victim of my own success. By entirely swallowing and absorbing the values of American culture, it was impossible to ignore the racial aspect. And so I wrote this blog in 2011, just as I was making my best effort to integrate into the mainstream.

If the best argument of 2010 was “life as an average American male isn’t that bad” the argument of 2015 is “life as an average
Asian/Eurasian male is TERRIBLE”. When I look at the life of the average Asian-American male, even if he has achieved middle class status, economically, I see nothing to envy. I don’t want to live that life. And this is where WMAF comes in. As I see WMAF couples as both instigators of and profiters from Asian male emasculation. And then they create Half-Asian sons who have to live in this world. Well thats the Hapa Paradox that is at the heart of this blog. I think a large amount of WMAF couples are loudly and proudly based on open racism against Asian males and sexism against Asian females. And you can google these creeps up yourself, if you want to see the background to Hapa males. Now maybe they are just a loud, militant minority. But their hateful words ring true to me, since its perfectly in line with the trends and actions of “mainstream” WMAF couples. There is a big crisis in our hands. And whats the best case scenario for a WMAF couple? At best they are not openly racist, but still ignore the problems their Half-Asian sons might suffer. It might not even be intentionally malicious. Anti-Asian racism isn’t de jure to the same extent anti-Black racism was in the 1950s. So to someone who is not a Half-Asian son, it might seem like he is just thin skinned and hypersensitive. Since these are largely cultural issues. Why complain about the lack of Asian rappers and basketball players when Asians are the highest income group? My white dad asked me.

For my white dad, it seems silly for me to be angsting out over lack of Asian male movie stars. But it does matter. Look at the gay rights movement “It Gets Better”. It has gotten better for gays, in my lifetime I’ve seen a revolution in gay rights. What was the cause? “Liberal Hollywood brainwashing” normalizing the behavior. To an extent that is true, but not as sinister as conservatives would make it out to be. The media over the last few decades has done a lot to show gays as just regular human beings. To humanize them. Once gays are just regular people, its hard to hate them. Compare and contrast that with the progress Asian men have made in the media over the last decade. It is hard to name a single character who was a fully developed human being. And I do think it makes a big difference. If having prominent sympathetic characters and celebrities builds empathy, I think decades of bombardment of asexual, nerdy, Asian enemy clowns has accomplished the opposite. Asian men are more than ever mere insects or robots. Completely subhuman. And this has eradicated my psyche. It is hard for me to even think of myself as human anymore, and I eschew all human contact. This Hermit Kingdom isolation has backfired, in that rather than freeing me from mental pollution, I obsess more than ever over being Hapa. And the internet is even nastier than the people I knew in real life.

Being half-Asian makes me feel less than human. I feel that US society sees me as less than human. When people are shocked by how wide the AMWF to WMAF gap, for me the real miracle is that AMWF even happens at all, when Asian men are not even human in US society. To be an AMWF is to revolt against a whole cultural apparatus. This is why it is to the infinite eternal shame of WMAF that they have to baby-snatch successful Eurasian celebrities from the sons of full white mothers. No Asian mother will ever raise a successful Eurasian celebrity.

How do I deal with this issues? I have no incentive to try, since the life of the average Asian man, hold zero appeal to me. I have no reason to strive for it. And I’m under no illusions that I will be some above average Super Eurasian that breaks down barriers.

I feel that being part Asian makes me less than human in American culture. And I resent my own parents for being a WMAF couple, which I see as both symptom and cause of Asian dehumanization. My parents created me to be a human being, and took away my humanity in a single act. They might not have maliciously intended any harm, but the bad apples have spoiled the bunch. And there are tons of WMAF bad apples, which lead me to see them as a truly vile coupling. It is just impossible to have the level of empathy for another race of males, that is necessary to be a parent to a Eurasian son. Can my parents, even with the best intentions, ever feel what I feel? No, they can’t. And if they want to pretend that being Asian male is identical to being white male in USA, then all communication between us must necessarily break down.

But what can even the best of WMAF do? Suppose a WMAF couple read my blog and were totally convinced by my arguments and genuinely wanted to do their best to advance the interests of their Eurasian son. Some WMAF bloggers do pretend to speak like that. Maybe a Chang Johnson leads some Asian-American civil rights organization. I read a piece by a WMAF Asian mom trying to convince white women to give Asian men a chance. But as many comments told her, it was impossible to take her seriously, when her own actions spoke so much louder than her words. What could a genuinely progressive anti-racist WMAF couple do to help their half-asian son? Even, with the best of intentions- nothing.

Its a sad world Hapa men live in. And we are too isolated to even find each other and build communities. We are all on our own. To even find this blog, a Eurasian man would have to already be half-way to my conclusions, if he was already defining himself by his mixed status and seeking out resources. Most Eurasian men probably just take the stance advocated by my commentators. “I’m a personal failure and loser, it has nothing to do with my race”. Unless they are searching, they wont find out, that there are so many WMAF sons out there exactly like them. Its not a coincidence that so many Hapa guys end up in the same place.

What is one good thing about being Eurasian? The answer I most frequently get are variations on “at least you are not a disgusting full Asian, they are the lowest of the low”. But because of the 1-drop rule, I’m treated by White Society as a disgusting full Asian, I’m the lowest of the low. And so your negative compliment is just a straight insult. The one good thing about being Eurasian, is that you are the worst race of males. I did an entry on the “Uncanny Valley” on why being “better” than the worst race of males, wasn’t any advantage. There was also a blog entry by Bitter Halfie Man, who explained that he had no advantage in getting Asian or Hapa girls over full Asian men. He said it was a purely theoretical advantage, since any Asian girl who admired his white traits, could easily get a full white guy. The same logic of course applies to girls of any race.

Its not just about girls, sex, relationships. Even just walking down the street, I always see social groups congregating together based on race, culture, ethnicity. Humans are a naturally tribal species. They form in and out groups. And every time I see friends of all the same race hanging out together in even the most diverse areas. Its a punch in the stomach. A reminder that Hapas have no tribe, and will always be the permanent outgroup for this most tribal species of ape.

The differences between Me and TCOMD

There has been a lot of heated controversy at
http://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/ over some comments TCOMD made there. My blog has been dragged into this, as many people often casually confuse us and TCOMD has requested that I weigh in and differentiate us. My blog has generally been self-contained in its own little solipsistic world, and I generally haven’t directly acknowledged trends outside my blog. While I regarded the emergence of new eurasian blogs as a step forward, I haven’t commented on them myself. But since the confusion is now causing difficulties, I think it is necessary that I directly confront our differences.

Me and TCOMD are very different people, and while we have superficial similarities in both being Eurasian men angry at our parents, we have lived entirely different lives. To call us the same, is just another variant on all Asians look alike, in this case all Eurasian write alike. If anything you could say that we started on opposite extremes of the spectrum, and have now met in a Eurasian middle. Now it is true that we have both carefully read each other’s blogs, so there has been some influence in both directions. TCOMD says that he was initially influenced by the paleoconservative views of his white dad, and initially identified with the cause of the white man. My blog influenced him in seeing his issues as specifically Eurasian issues, tied into the circumstances of his birth. I had essentially left my blog behind in 2011 as a completed project. Contrary to the impression that SEML was written during depression, it was actually written during the happiest most social period of my life. I closed the book on SEML in 2011 and tried to move on with my life. These projects had totally petered out by 2013. But rather than coming back to SEML in my new despair, I still left it alone as a closed book. There were a number of factors that influenced me coming out of retirement in 2014. But among them was definitely the emergence of TCOMD and other Eurasian blogs. TCOMD stands for The Circumstances of my Death. And the name of his blog is Longing for death. subtitled the diary of the suicidal son of a white father and asian mother. It gives some indication of where TCOMD was coming from. And so as the owner of this blog, I wanted to talk to him about his Eurasian despair, which I have felt all to keenly myself.

I don’t necessarily approve of everything TCOMD has to say, nor does he unconditionally agree with me on everything. In some comments he has accused me of going “soft”. I never thought that I’d live to see the day in which I became the “moderates” of the Eurasian Revolution. Suddenly I’m the Girondin or Mensheviks. People have caricatured me as an extremist radical from day one, and now their bogey man has actually taken shape. As for myself, I regard myself as having always been reasonable and moderate on these issues. Back in 2011, I said clearly that I didn’t think my parents were bad people as individuals and that I had nothing against race-mixing in principle. I merely pointed out that there was a lot of ugliness behind many, many WMAF relationships and that this was extremely detrimental to the sense of self-worth in any half Asian son.

If the accusation made against TCOMD is that he too much generalizes from his uniquely bad WMAF parents to the general WMAF population, tainting those poor innocent couples, for me it is the opposite. It is my innocent parents who are being tainted by your horrid WMAF couples. I don’t believe my parents are especially bad people or stereotypical WMAFs. But I have become so disgusted at the vile ugliness of WMAF couples, that I can’t help but rage at my parents for belonging to a category I hate so much. It is in a sense unfair that my parents, have probably taken more crap about being WMAF from their own son, than any of those stereotypical WMAF couples out there, who deserve it from their sons much more.

From my reading of TCOMD his parents were the classic WMAF caricature. His Asian mom openly hated Asian men. His white dad was a
paleoconservative, hated American women was looking to Asian women to fulfill his traditional values, while being a borderline White Nationalist. His mother died due to longterm complications from a bad blood transfusion due to having to give birth to TCOMD in a c-section. The c-section was itself a WMAF issue, as WMAFs have by far the largest number of c-secs of any mixing due to incompatibility.

One of the most galling confusions between me and TCOMD, was when a European women commented saying that these were uniquely American issues, and that she would recommend that I come to Europe to meet a white girl, but obviously she doesn’t since I’m married to my Chinese wife. This was of course very outrageous to me, as I’ve never had a girlfriend, much less a wife. And I have made my views about forming my own WMAF very clear. As a Eurasian caught in the middle, I regard any relations with Asians as a WMAF on my part, and with white girls an AMWF. She told me I shouldn’t be suicidal as some Eurasian guys have never even gotten a smile from a girl, while I was married. I asked her, that now that the confusion was cleared up, whether she did advocate suicide for me, since I had never gotten so much as a smile?

r/Hapas has largely functioned as a newsfeed more than anything else. And I myself have referenced some of the articles posted there. While me and TCOMD have exhibited hot emotional intensity on our blogs, r/Hapas has methodically and dispassionately accumulated empirical evidence for Hapa misery. With the recent controversy, things have heated up at r/Hapas too. And Eurasian men for the 1st time, are speaking up and saying they “completely identify” with the views expressed at r/Hapas and TCOMD. This is a powerful message to all Eurasians out there, that you are not alone. Your thoughts are not alone. There are thousands of other Eurasian men who think exactly like you, you just haven’t found them yet.

There is a Eurasian awakening taken place. I have been meaning to do an article about one of the posts on r/Hapas, which is the 1st mainstream national newspaper to interview a Eurasian man about the type of issues discussed here. The Eurasian voice is finally being heard at least in some quarters. The largescale mass creation of Eurasian sons is at last having its necessary consequences.

I’m not TCOMD, while we have evolved towards some similar positions on specific Eurasian issues, this is a convergence of 2 opposite extremes, and we have lived very different life experiences. Nothing either of us post should be assumed to be mutually endorsed. I appreciate the work TCOMD has done in showing me and other Eurasians that we are not alone in the wilderness, and that in fact something like a Eurasian movement is slowly coalescing.

I’m driving myself insane dwelling on these Eurasian issues.

I’m driving myself insane dwelling on these Eurasian issues. Its not mentally healthy, and maybe I would be better off if I could just move on and forget who I am. Lets just accept simple facts. Eurasian men are the trash of the worst relationship. Eurasian men are garbage in human society. WMAF is standing on the neck of the Eurasian son. It is terrible to be Eurasian, and more and more Hapas are waking up to this fact. Its getting kind of repetitive since there really isn’t much more that can be said on this topic. It sucks to be Hapa male. Thats all there is to it.

So what now? It shouldn’t matter. I’ve said what had to be said about being Hapa.

Why does racism bother me so much?

I can’t believe in 2015, I still have to reinvent the wheel in answering “why is racism bad?” But in some sense we can say that race relations between whites and Asians on large numbers are only now beginning. Its a new type of racism very different from the
traditional white-black binary, large scale race-mixing does not represent the breaking down of racial barriers. Rather the creation of Eurasian children on a massive scale is the apotheosis of this unique brand of anti-Asian racism. In some ways more primal and archaic and less ideologically sophisticated than anti-Black racism. Castrate enemy men and take his women. The white man thinks he is creating an ally in his Eurasian son, since he will have more white blood and be bleached. But in my experience it has been the opposite result. Eurasian men are much more militant and enraged at white society compared to full-asian men. The Eurasian son is not a friend to his white father. Eurasians are the focal point of sexual globalization. The nexus of the ancient civilizations of East and West. We are the Bridge, but not at all in the manner our parents expected nor wanted.

Why is it that I’m ok with personal failure but not racial
stereotypes? You can’t really separate being a personal loser from being an Asian man, since there is a 100% perfect overlap between the Venn Diagram of loser traits and Asian male stereotypes. The ideal Asian male caricature is the definition of being a failure in western society. The Asian man is everything a man shouldn’t be. Even supposed positive traits like “intelligence” is not a positive in American culture. And to the extent that smarts are celebrated, it is the creative, innovative genius. And this type of intelligence Asian robots are explicitly declared not to have. By white nerds addicted to Anime, no less. Americans are supposed to admire hard work and tenacity. If Asians are naturally stupid, but pull themselves up by their bootstraps by determination, perhaps this could be a positive character trait? But no, it is just robotic grinding, anything Asian is inherently negative by definition. Everything about being Asian is bad. And this whole nexus of ideology is instantly thrown at me full-force, the instant they see my Eurasian face.

What if I was the only Asian or Eurasian man in the world? Then these would all be personal faults, and not be connected to billions of other men. Is it just that I want my failure to be my personal individual creation, my special little snowflake, and not just the statistical fate of me along with a billion other sexless drones?

How do I accept myself as a Eurasian male? My very birth and DNA has become something hateful to me. Its clear no other human beings will ever accept me, so why should I?

Eurasian men will never find their voice. They will die alone, silent, forgotten. It will be like they never existed. They will be washed away by the waves. The Hapa man has no place on this planet. If you are the son of a white dad and asian mom, you will never belong anywhere. You will wander, being hounded in every direction. It doesn’t get better. Abandon all hope. Things will never get better for the Hapa man. Hope is an illusion. You will not be the 1st Eurasian man in the history of the world to succeed. You will be a failure like every other of your kind. Don’t bother to try. You can’t turn back the wheel of history. You are nothing but a mutant abomination. The waste product of an ugly genocide.

Accept yourself for what you are. An Elephant Man. A hideous beast and ogre. A retarded freak. A monstrous mixture. This is all life has to offer the Eurasian race. It is impossible for human beings to feel any other way. If I continue to think about other human beings, these are the only thoughts which shall flood my mind. This is the permanent relationship between Hapas and the human race.

I don’t care what whites and Asians think of me. What do you think fellow Hapa men? Do I speak your truth? Look inside yourself, search your feelings, you know it to be true. All you have is faith and hope, that your future might get better. But the evidence is overwhelmingly against us. All other Eurasians have failed. Are you so delusional to believe that you will be the first of your race, in the history of the world to not fail? This is the life your parents have selfishly flung upon your heads. They do not care one iota for your happiness.

I’m glad I’m a failure. There are enough successes in the world. Why should I do credit to WMAF? Why should I be a real life Keanu Reeves, Brandon Lee, Dean Cain Tanaka, who is actually 1/2 Asian, and does not have a white mom? Keanu Reeves, Brandon Lee, Dean Cain Tanaka have all been exposed as fraudulent Eurasians, since they have full-white European mothers. Their success could only come from the love of a white mother. The Asian mother will never give her half-white son the manhood he needs. Only a Eurasian with a white mother can achieve. This is why the holy trinity of Eurasian men, Keanu, Brandon, Dean has full-white loving moms. I don’t want to be the Eurasian impossibility. The 1st successful WMAF Hapa son in the history of the world. I don’t want my picture plastered all over WMAF propaganda on what their sons can be. I prefer the truth. I prefer to be a failure. And as a failure I can speak out to my fellow Eurasians, for we have all failed in this world together. Speaking my truth, is the best achievement I could have as a Hapa. Hapas have been voiceless mumbling, growling monsters howling in the dark. Now some of those grunts have formed human words. The monster abomination can speak! I have put what it means to be Eurasian in words.

I don’t care about the human world anymore. I’m not a part of it, and never shall be. What now Eurasian man?

Asian women have crashed their own sexual market value

One passage that really stuck out for me in Amy Chua’s book, was her digression on yellow fever. She acknowledges there are a lot of skeevy WMAF couples out there, and makes a point to say that her white husband has never dated an Asian woman before. It was revealing for me to see a supposedly academic intellectual professor from Yale, writing like some Asian teen girl blogger. With the old my white guy doesn’t have yellow fever line. WMAF has become self-aware about just how low status their coupling is, and so they often make the point of saying “my asian girl has dated Asian guys before”, “my white guy has dated white girls before”. Asian women don’t want to be part of any white country club that would let Asians in. Just by dating an Asian girl, white guys make themselves less attractive to future Asian girls. Asian girls are social poison.

They recognize that WMAF is overflowing with bad apples. Amy Chua would not have wanted to date a white man who dates Asian women. And yet she still wants to date a white man. To this extent she has “ruined” her future husband for future Amy Chuas. Now he wont be able to say, he has never dated an Asian woman before. WMAF is based on the opposite of the categorical imperative. Every WMAF wants to be the one exception. Yes, all other WMAFs are scum, but our WMAF is barely a WMAF. John Derbyshire is a white nationalist with a Chinese wife. And he says he would hate to live in a multicult society, in which many white men married Asians. But since he is part of a small minority, it is ok for him. WMAF is quite loudly and proudly based on hypocrisy.

Asian women are low status. The same Columbia speed dating study that rated Asian men the least attractive (as expected), also rated Asian women the least attractive by all races of men. What? I thought Asian women were exotic and desirable, how can they also be sexual failures? If you believe EvoPsych, men and women have different sexual goals, and thus different ways to fail. A female sexual failure will not be a virgin, but she will only attract low status males. And Asian women have become legendary as the woman of choice for loser white males. This is the ultimate definition of female sexual failure, becoming the easy partner of choice for the males of lowest value. Scandinavian women are the highest status women in the world, and so they can price themselves high with radical feminism. East Asian women are the lowest status women in the world, and so to market themselves to loser white men, they have to advertise themselves as the least feminist.  Sexual Coolies serving as strikebreakers against White Feminism. By being so openly desperate for the lowest white men, Asian women have destroyed their own bargaining position in the sexual market. It is impossible to drive a hard bargain when you are so obviously desperate for whiteness. Athletes are the Alpha Males of American society. And it is impossible to name a single athlete married to an Asian women. They have become the Geisha goddesses of white male losers.

I just saw a trailer for a new “white loser” movie, and as I predicted he is paired with an Asian FOB. This has become a Hollywood cliche. Hollywood might be shy about exploring the racial-sexual impulses that goes into this sociological arrangement directly, but they are eminently aware of it. It is the “realistic” version of white nerd gets the blonde prom queen. That is too outlandish. White nerd gets the Asian FOB is in the realm of easy possibility. Asian women have won themselves a wonderful reputation as the easy prostitutes of white nerds. This is the lowest status a female can hold.

Let us look at the Eurasian male triangle. He is born to the lowest status race of prostituted women, married to the lowest beta males of the white race. And he is considered by society to be the lowest status males- Asian males. This is the perfect hell for Eurasians.

Let us look at all the gifts the white loser gives his son. The same genes that made the white dad a loser in both looks and behavior are passed onto the Half-Asian son. Then you throw in the nurture of being raised by a loser white dad and an Asian Tiger Mom. Finally you have the widespread social affect of WMAF, which is very clearly a signal that Asian men are the worst males. Also many white nerds are not just socially worst, but also morally worst, and hold extremist racist and sexist views. All this is poison in the development of the Eurasian son.

Weird Crackpot Race theories and Eurasians

I was being half facetious when I included Kurds and Arabs along with Uzbeks, Kazakhs, Turks, Eskimos, Slavs, Finns, Peruvians as list of races that WMAF Eurasian sons have been erroneously compared or conflated with. But now I have actual comments telling me that Eurasian men should be equivalent to Arab men in attractiveness to white women. I know Arabs are the bad guys with the war and everything. But they have always been considered white. They are a Caucasian people. In phenotype there is hardly any difference between an Arab and a Sicilian. Eurasians contrary to the delusions of race science are no more a Caucasian people than Barack Obama is. I have repeatedly exposed that white-looking Eurasians are either 3/4 or even more white. Only 12% Asian, with a white mom, in the case of Keanu Reeves.

It shouldn’t be so god damned hard. WMAF is always bragging that they are the most common interracial couple. This is supposed to prove how normal and natural they are. But now it is to their great
embarrassment that despite their huge numbers, and all the sons they have bred, they have not produced a single successful son. And so they have to resort to weird and bizarre analogies. Or outright fraud and lies. Or they have to babysnatch from AMWF couples, despite the fact that there are millions of WMAF sons and only hundreds of AMWF sons. That is pathetic. WMAF having to claim AMWF sons as their own is utterly pitiful considering the numbers involved. It is the ultimate surrender and admission of inferiority and defeat. Everytime WMAF apologists name someone with a white mom they are screaming at the top of their lungs “WE SUCK!”

Theory is the refuge of the coward, who lacks empirical evidence. With fact after fact coming out about Eurasian sons, and daughters too. Race scientists resort to their theories. They try to tell me what Eurasians SHOULD be according to their logical deductions. They have their charts and skull measurements, defining what whites and Asians are. And according to their graphs I must actually be an Egyptian. I pour tartar sauce on your Tatar sources. These race theorists will call me Arab, Latino, Turkish, Slav, Eskimo, Finn, everything but what I actually am. The son of a white American man and an East Asian women. They are the most common pairing in America. It shouldn’t be that hard to analyze them as they actually are in reality. Face the facts. Every single Eurasian male is doomed to a life of rejection and failure. This solves your mystery. Isn’t it weird how you can’t google up a single successful WMAF son? Its no mystery. Read my blog. There are good reasons that all WMAF sons end up like me or worse.

Put aside your abstract deductions based on faulty premises. Look at actual empirical data. Do not study the history of the AMWF Tatars, instead look at the lives of actual sons of white western men and east asian women. I will be vindicated in every single fact. Stop being guided by what you think should be, ought to be, and look at what is. Look at what the Eurasian man actually is, and don’t be deluded by your race theories. Children are not born of apriori logical deductions.

I’m sick of being the subject of your mental experiments. I actually exist. And I have actually done the research to see what other WMAF Eurasian sons are. And they are all like me. This is infinitely more real to me than your reasonings from first racial principles. Look at who the sons of WMAF actually are and not who they should be. Do not seek is from ought. The point of analogies is to simplify and clear things up, not to add unneeded complexities onto simple facts. I show you the fact that all WMAF sons fail for good reasons. And you give me a factless history lesson on the history of Armenia.

Forget the Turks. Ask yourself why has WMAF failed to produce a single good son, despite being the most common mixed coupling in America?

Keanu Reeves is only 12% Asian & has a White Mom

I have already addressed the fact that Keanu Reeves and Dean Cain Tanaka are not Eurasian men. Every single “successful” Eurasian man is a lie. And the fact that apologists have to lie so much, should in itself tell you something. However it has come to my attention, that I was in fact wrong in saying that Keanu was 1/4 Asian. In fact the East Asian portion of his blood, his Chinese side is only 1/8 or 12.5%. The Chinese taint in Keanu is a mere 12%. Behold your Eurasian Messiah. Your Neo.

The propagandists have followed the lessons of their master Goebbels and repeat the lie that Keanu is Eurasian over and over again. You would think that Keanu is the son of a white dad and asian mom. This is what is implied, when WMAF Nazi propagandists continuously show his picture as what their son will look like. In fact Keanu has a white American mom. WMAF Nazis have all failed high school biology class, they have no notion of genetics 101. If you repeat a lie, often enough it will be fact. For a long time I myself was taken in. I honestly believed that Keanu Reeves was Eurasian. He is not. He does not even look obviously Asian in anyway, and yet everyone and their dog seems to know hes Eurasian. This is the result of an active campaign of misinformation.

Why is the whole world aware of Keanu’s 12% Asianess? Even Nazi Germany only hunted down 1/4 Jews. This is more like the Old South, with the 1-drop rule. They used to have public auctions where they would have 1/8 Octaroon girls, who were phenotypically white, with light skin, green eyes and red hair, and sell them as sex slaves for Southern men. Oh how the WMAF propagandists have seized on the 12% Chinese within Keanu. It is a lie.

Lets not just leave it at the lie. Lets follow up the implications. There are a ton of WMAF couples in America. Starting from WW2 and the various Asian wars and bases, and exploding the 1970s and 1980s. Many of these Eurasian men are now well into adulthood. WMAF is the most common pairing in America, AMWF is the least common. Why oh why, you must ask does the most common need to steal from the least common? Why do millions need to baby snatch from hundreds? Why is it that everytime WMAF tries to name a successful Eurasian man, he has a white mom? It is not by accident. It is because the racial-sexual factors that go into WMAF, ensure that their Eurasian son will never amount to anything. Every single WMAF son in the history of the world is a failure.

Keanu Reeves is a lie. He has a white mother. His mother is not Asian, she is an Anglo-Saxon Englishwoman. Her maiden name is Bond, Patricia Bond. No mixed son of an Asian woman will ever accomplish anything. This is why they have to lie and falsify. He is not 1/2 Asian, he is not 1/4 Asian, he is 1/8 Asian. 12%.

They are lying, because the facts are not on their side. Oh there are some famous genuine WMAF sons in the news. Real sons of white dads and Asian moms. There have been very prominent stories in the last year. But those are sons that WMAF is not so quick to take credit for. Those are their real sons. All-American white dads and a Chinese, Japanese, Korean woman. Those are the Eurasian men, that WMAF propagandists run away from. The real Hapas.

This blog has been up since 2011. I have received a ton of comments, trying to name a successful Eurasian man. Not a single one of them has a white dad and East Asian mom. There is a reason for this.

I wish WMAF couples could be transformed into Eurasian men

I’m extremely angry about being a Eurasian male. There is no getting around that fact. I honestly and truly believe that there is nothing worse in life than being the son of a white dad and asian mom. That is the complete destruction of the soul. I blame everyone for this fact. White men and asian women for creating this situation. Asian men for building the culture which produced the most immoral race of women. Colored men, for joining in on the pile-up. And even white women, for the absolute disgust they hold Eurasian men in. I’m estranged from the entire human race.

How do I move on from this impasse?

My parents aren’t the best anti-racist action SJWs, Asian
Nationalists, that they could be. But they are not the caricature of WMAF Nazis, that so many of my fellow Eurasian men, appear to live under. I said back in 2011, that they were not the worst WMAFs in the world. And its important that they not be. If they were just uniquely bad and evil people. Then it would be easy to dismiss all my larger sociological claims, and say that I’m just tarnishing a whole category, just because of my personal problems with my parents. Its quite the opposite. Perhaps in a truly color-blind world, I could have had a normal and healthy relationship with my parents. But it is the ugliness of WMAF as a social fact, which has badly tarnished my relationship with my parents. WMAF has become so evil and disgusting to me, that I hold my parents personally responsible for every last racist crack that any WMAF in the world makes.

And maybe this is part of the problem. I have so defined myself as a Eurasian male, that its as though I see myself as the child of every single WMAF couple in the world. And so when they say ugly, mean, nasty, cruel things, its as though my own parents are attacking me. How do I separate individuals from sociological trends? How do I divorce myself from WMAF as a category? Should I care about everyone who wants to say crap about me?

Generally, I have had little bad to say about white women. But lets face it, ultimately they are the cause of my misery. Oh sure WMAF puts pressure on white women, not to date Asian men. But white men try to put plenty of pressure on white women, not to date Black men, but it doesn’t work. If anything, it adds to the sense of rebellion. But a white girl does not feel like a rebel dating an Asian man. As always its the worst of both worlds. On the one hand there is widespread social disapproval for AMWF. OTOH daddy’s reaction will probably be boring.

There are lots of endless internet debates on why AMWF is so low. Honestly, considering how much romantic relationships are driven by social pressure, and the nearly non-stop drumbeat about how Asian men are by far the worst race of males, the real question is not why AMWF is so low, but how it even happens at all? Considering the levels of mass propaganda for Asian emasculation, its a miracle that AMWF happens at all. The level of bombardment against Asian men, exceeds that of an Orwellian Totalitarian State that constantly floods it citizens with anti-Asian hate. A state propaganda machine could do no better job, in demonizing the position of the Asian man.

I make excuses for my parents. I say they are not anti-Asian, just ignorant. They don’t realize how bad things are for Asian men, but they are not actively against Asian men. But at this point it is a very negligent willful blindness. Their half-Asian son is repeatedly telling them to their faces, just how bad the situation is. And to ignore the pleas of their own son, and choose to believe that being an Asian man is no different than being a white man in America, crosses the line from innocent ignorance to willful self-deception.

There are few things I’m grateful for. But if anything this blog has been an education for me, in just how God awful the vast, vast, majority of WMAF couples are. And so if it was my accursed destiny to be born to a WMAF couple, I can at least say, that I could have done much, much, worse than my parents. The WMAF horror stories are much worse than my own. Most of my posts are about the sociological trend of WMAF. But so many stories have been shared by Eurasian men and women, of their WMAF parents being personally racist and abusive against their own flesh and blood children. Many Eurasian offspring have it much worse than me. For me, it is nasty comments on the internet. For them, it is the mouths of their own parents. And truly being a Eurasian man, growing up in a household like that, would be the definition of hell.

I’m trying to reason my way out of this box. But I just don’t see anyway out.

Should it bother me so much?

I have no place in the human world. Maybe I could find some hobby to distract me from humans, in whatever time, I have left on this stinking rock. But somehow I doubt it. I’ve been looking for a distraction since 2011, and haven’t found it. I just can’t walk out of who I’m.

Does every WMAF have to be about me personally? Sure they say crap about Asian, and by extension Eurasian men. But white men also hate on Black men. If anything they hate on BMWF with even more vehemence than AMWF. And yet that doesn’t stop BMWF from happening. Thats the choice of white women. Why am I so concerned about the taunts of ugly women? They are the ugliest race of women in the world, so why do their taunts get to me? Because they are “my” race? Are white women so weak willed as to be deceived by WMAF’s feeble arguments? So easily blown around by social pressure? Ultimately its their free-willed personal choice. They are the ones who choose to reject me. Everything else is just background noise. Static in the incalculable mixture of factors that go into any rejection.

There I have it. Everyone hates me. White man and Asian women, of course. But also white women and colored men.

Its just not fair. What are Hapas? Like .005% of the US population? Why did I have the bad luck to be born a Eurasian male to WMAF parents? Of all the racial-gender pairings, why did I get stuck being the Half-Asian son of WMAF? Why did it have to be me?

Its not fun being Asian. It be hard enough being an Asian-American male. But did you have to shove WMAF in my face, from my very birth? Make it an issue for me, from Kindergarten on?

What a cursed life I was given. There will be no greater relief than finally abandoning it. Life is not a gift for the Eurasian male. Its a horrid curse. Nothing personal against my parents as individuals. But why the hell did I have to be born to the worst, ugliest, cruelest, racial pairing ever? Why was this my Cross to bear? I’m not fit to handle it. I don’t have the strength to be a Eurasian. I can’t and wont do it.

My whole life I have been trying desperately to be anything else but a Eurasian. I have tried being white, Asian, Kazakh, AMWF, Mongolian, Turkish, Latino, Peruvian, Slavic. Anything. Anything else but Eurasian. Stupid know it alls, and armchair race scientists, are always bringing up those groups in my comments section. And since High School, I have been trying to pass for any of them. I would gladly be anything other than Eurasian. I just want to rip my genes apart. Tear them asunder. How do I resign from a race I never wanted?

I wish WMAF couples could be transformed into Eurasian men. You think its so fun? You want to mix white and Asian genes so much? Mix it in your own cells. Don’t mix it in mine. You live the life of a Eurasian man. You think white-asians make such great hybrids? The new master race. Inject the genes into your own cells. I wish people mixed their own genes. But they don’t. He is still a full white man. She is still a full Asian woman. It is the Eurasian man who has to live with the complete and entire burden of their selfish choices. I had no choice, voice, or input in my birth. I didn’t choose to be Eurasian. They made the choice for me, and expect me to thank them for it. Expect me to take up the responsibility for this Eurasian life on my own. This I can never do. I wish race-mixing was literally that. That when you race mixed, you mixed up your own genes and lost your race. You like Asian genes so much? Have some. But don’t give them to your unwilling son. You think that whites and asians are the 2 best races, and only great things can come from mixing them? Then you be a half-asian man. Inject some Asian DNA into your white cells. Have fun. But thats not what you do is it? You stay a white man, and enjoy all that white privilege. And you let your Half-Asian son take up the burden of your choices.

And Asian women, you find Asian genes so disgusting. You are the ones who carry it, not Asian men. The AMWF sons are all successful. There is not much Asianess in Asian sperm. The white woman’s egg does it all. AMWF sons all look very white, and live great masculine lives. It is you Asian women, not the Asian man, who carries the Asian genes you hate so much. You are the carriers of the Mongoloid disease. You spread the plague. You hate Asians so much, and yet you think you have the right to fling your filthy DNA onto your Eurasian sons? If you hate it so much, don’t give it to me. Biology is laughing at you. Biology is quite a trickster jester. She makes AMWF sons white and she makes WMAF sons Asian. She has quite the sense of humor. Quite the sense of justice. Isn’t that poetic justice? WMAF sons look Asian and AMWF sons look white. Genetics is a wily God. Its not so funny, when you’re on the receiving end of the joke, and have to live as a Eurasian male. But it is kind of funny. You have AMWF sons named Chang, Wong, Kim, who can look nearly full white. And you have WMAF sons named Johnson and Murphy who look nearly full Asian. It aint fun being an instrument of Nature’s justice.

I’m at the end of my rope. I see absolutely no way out of this. I can keep on writing about just how bad it is being Eurasian. And how unfair it is that WMAF parents force their children to be Eurasian. But as for my life, I see it as unfixable. It sucks to be Eurasian. Thats all there is to it. I’m glad other Eurasians are waking up to this, and speaking out on their own now. There were Eurasians saying this, even before me. But it is starting to pick up steam now. The Eurasian population is hitting critical mass. I’m not sure what the longterm social consequences will be, but it doesn’t look pretty.

Someone has to be the worst race ever created, I guess it has to be me.

I haven’t posted here in a while. But since I opened this can of worms, by restarting my blog again, I might as well hammer these issues out here. IDK if it does any good, most of the comments here are unhelpful. But it is nice to have the occasional white female well-wisher or a fellow Eurasian male who relates. People will tell my I’m crazy for having these thoughts. But to the extent that they make fact-based arguments and not just ad hominem slurs, I suppose it is better to air these ideas in public, rather than bottling them up inside. Even where I disagree, it forces me to buttress my case.

In a way its silly to imagine alternative lives. Siblings share the same DNA from the same parents, and yet they have entirely different looks and personalities. How much more different is it when it is a half-sibling from a different race? Hence, imagining a life for my hypothetical full-white or full-asian half-brother is not really imagining “my” life. Since with such different DNA, different parents, and a different environment, that imaginary half-brother of mine, is a whole different person. He is not the white me or the asian me.

Still, since I’m so angry about being Eurasian, and ultimately blame my parents for my genes and circumstances, it is worth investigating the alternate choices they could have made. With my dad’s white privilege, its rather easy for him. I would say that my imaginary half-brother would have a much better life, if my dad had married ANY other race of male, other than East Asian. Even South Asian Eurasians seem to have much stronger white features, they look vaguely Arab. Sure full white would be easiest. But a half black can be an Obama. And it is a statistical fact, that Black men have it easier with white women on the dating market. And in economics, it has been shown that Asian men do the worst in job interviews, since they show the least “narcissism”. And so the Black personality is more suited for showing charisma. Half-Latinos can easily pass as Mediterranean whites. Basically anything is better than Asian. Dad had it easy. If a white man marries any other race but Asian, he can give his sons a good life. And yet some white men, just have a need to mate with the worst race, and give their sons hell.

Ok, back to mom. She carries the curse of her Asian genes. Lets look at the 3 options. She can marry a white man, as she did. She can marry an Asian man in Asia or America. I have already looked at “my” imaginary life as a full-Asian in Asia. And I have decided that if you live in developed Asia, you in no way benefit from moving to America. In fact I’d rather have half the income in Asia, than endure the racial humiliation of America. USA’s per capita is around $50K, so if you are making $25K or more in Asia, there isn’t much of a reason to come here. And my family didn’t come here. Its not like I’m the son of an Asian family that immigrated to America. I’m the son of a single Asian female, who married a white man. Its hardly even a form of immigration. We didn’t even need the 1965 law changed for that, since marriages always granted citizenship. During the racist 1920s there was talk of dropping it for American women who married foreigners, but NEVER American men.

All right so lets get to the third option. Suppose my mom had married an Asian man in America. Suppose I was a full Asian-American male. Would that be better than being a Eurasian male? Do Hapas enjoy an advantage over full-Asian men? In theory yes. On paper yes. Since white=attractive and Asian=unattractive. Supposedly having 50% white DNA should be an advantage. Now I don’t look 50% more white, but even to the extent that I do look more white, whatever it is, its that much more of an advantage.

But this is just a hypothetical advantage. 0 X 1000 is still 0. I have had 0 relationships as a Eurasian man. So does this mean I would have had negative relationships as an Asian-American man?

Lets assume all other things being equal. If I have to live the exact same life as a Eurasian man or an Asian man, in America. Why not at least have an Asian dad? In what way is having a white dad an advantage? The white last name. But if thats so important an Asian can have it legally changed. Besides AMWF Hapas with Asian last names, do much better than WMAF Hapas with white last names.

Well, why does there have to be a silver lining?

We can just agree, that my parents furthered their own self-interest at the expense of their own son. Even for their own selfish interests, it was only of short-term benefit. They certainly aren’t benefiting now. They have a useless, worthless, Eurasian son, that they regret having.

Are white dads more tolerant of basement-dwellers than Asian dads? IDK, all of Asia is hikki morris, so probably not.

There is no silver-lining, when you are Eurasian. I’m not so dogmatic. I can play devil’s advocate and try to argue from the other point of view. For example if I just wanted to say that 2015 society was horrible for everybody in general. I could argue against myself, on all the human progress since the Middle Ages. Certainly Asia is in much better shape now, than it was in 1915. Still I can’t take too much happiness in it. What good is it to me, if I’m doomed to live the life of a hated Eurasian male? Whats the point of economic progress, if it can’t buy you happiness? Look at South Korea and Japan. Sure economically they are top-tier 1st world nations. But what good is it, if you are the worst race of males, hated by all women including your own? Why even bother trying? And Japan has stopped trying. Despite being the 2nd most advanced economy, they have given up on life. And this seems to be the future for the rest of East Asia, as it develops. Even China, has a big internet addiction problem. As China completes its economic miracle of becoming a Big South Korea, will its people also just give up on life? I myself used to be very impressed by the Asian developmental model. But whats the end result? Japan is the most advanced country in Asia, and its men live in misery. Men in Kenya are probably more happy. A Kenyan man can come to America, marry a white woman, and have his son be President. So I don’t care about GDP per capita. My GDP is $0. I earn $0 a year, and I’m a negative drain on my parents. But Asian-American men earning $100K a year, seem just as miserable as me. So better to sit back and relax.

Back to my question. Is it better to have an Asian or white dad? I guess a white dad is a better guide to American culture. But again, since I’m a 0 in America, how much lower can you go than 0?

Ok. fine thats the answer. If I’m trying to play devil’s advocate for my parents, and suggest their intermarriage benefited me in anyway, I just can’t do it. I can’t think of anyway that its better to be Eurasian than not Eurasian. I can’t think of any mix that would be worse than a Eurasian male. A Eurasian male is the absolute worst thing, you can be in America. Even a Kenyan, can study economics, marry an American woman, and have a presidential son. There is nothing worse than being Eurasian. People hang “Starving in Africa” over my head, and thats worse than my “1st world problems”. But that African man, with his loving wife and kids, might not want to give up his life to be a Eurasian basement dweller. He might actually be happier than me. Certainly African-Americans have much higher self-esteem than Asian-Americans. Sure I wouldn’t want to give up my comfortable meaningless life, for the brutal struggle of the 3rd world. But again 3rd world “me”, would be a different “me”. IS everyone in the 3rd world dying of misery? They have friends, lovers, family, children. And they live their lives. And yes tragedy might await them, and all those blessings, might be brutally taken away. But at least they tasted it. In 1800, most Europeans lived like the 3rd world. So does that mean all humans up to 1800 should have killed themselves? Its not just “1st world problems”. We can call them 21st century problems. Anyone living in 2015 should just shut up about their problems, since it beats being a Medieval serf.

Obviously, I disagree. And the Medieval serf or third world peasant, who has friends and family who love them, might indeed be living better lives than me. Would you like to go live on the planet Mars, with advanced super-technology and comfort, if you knew you would be despised as an ogre outcast by all the Green people? And all the Green people would laugh at you when you complained about their universal hatred, and say “Martian problems”. Here you are with all your Martian Privilege, 1000 years ahead of Earth technology, and you are complaining. Would you rather be in America, with their pitiful 2015 cavemen technology?

The more I think about it. The more I see that being a Eurasian man, really is the worst thing in the world. Sure, even people with decent lives, can have terrible tragedies happen to them. But if we compare the day to day lives of the average person in the category, excluding calamities, then yeah Eurasian is worst. Sure, my negative pains might be less than most people in most times. And thats something to appreciate. The progress of history. But my positive pleasures are zero, and thats totally because I’m Eurasian. And IDK if many people would want to give up, all social pleasures, just for material security. Not that I’m that secure on those grounds either. If I don’t commit suicide, I’ll be a homeless bum in a few years anyway. So much for my GDP. I can’t appreciate living in America, any more than you would appreciate living in Mars. Yes, if you went to Mars, the technology might be millenia ahead of 2015 USA. But if your only social contact, would be the universal hatred and derision of all the Green people around you. Would you really trade that life?

People say that there are 2 billion Asians, so obviously they had no trouble reproducing. But Asia was geographically isolated through most of history. Imagine if all Asians had to live like Asian-American men. Would their population have grown to a billion under those conditions? Thanks to globalization, all Asian men are getting the American experience. And the streets of Tokyo, Seoul, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, are as full of WMAF couples as San Francisco. Is it worth it? Globalization is advancing the Asian economy. No region has made more economic progress than East Asia. But is it worth having Martian technology, if you have to be surrounded by Green men who hate you?

I myself am a product of this globalization. In any other century I would not have been born. In no other time in history, could an average citizen of West European descent have met his counterpart on the other side of the globe in the Far East. Those marriages were impossible for all, but an tiny elite of explorers. Its only in the last 30 years, where the average white man can marry the average Asian woman in peacetime. Hapas are a very recent experiment. And thats why people have to turn to all these weird analogies, to try to explain Hapas. Comparing us to Kazkhs, Peruvians, Eskimos, Arabs, Kurds, Finns or whatever. It tells you there is something wrong with Eurasians, when it is easier to name some 15th century Uzbek prince, rather than a 21st century successful son of a white dad and asian mom. Some of the references are just incredibly obscure. You have to go THAT far, just to name a good Eurasian, who is not even Eurasian? And I have a huge list of AMWF Hapa sons. Its not that I went hunting for them, in order to “prove” that AMWF is better than WMAF or anything. Its just that every single comment about a successful Eurasian male, ends up being an AMWF son. And over the years, that has accumulated into a huge list. And considering that WMAF couples outnumber AMWF couples 100:1. And yet successful AMWF sons outnumber WMAF sons 100:1. I can only conclude that AMWF sons are 1000x more successful than WMAF sons. It is the defenders of WMAF who have alerted me to this fact, from all the AMWF Eurasian sons they have sent me, in an attempt to prove that Eurasians can be successful.

What should I do?

When I felt misery at the general state of the world. I could argue all the ways the world is good. But I find myself unable to argue that being a Eurasian man is good. The more I argue with myself, the more proof I uncover of just how bad Eurasian life really is. I would have given up on life earlier, if I had known just how bad Eurasian really is. No one sets out to make a Eurasian son. WMAF is very popular, and Eurasian sons are just a waste product. And when people do talk about good Eurasian sons, there is always a catch. I guarantee he wont be the son of a white dad and asian mom.

Someone has to be the worst race ever created, I guess it has to be me.

The Five Stages of Eurasian Grief

In my last few posts I have finally been moving from depression to acceptance. Yes, there is nothing worse than being Eurasian male, and I’m Eurasian male and I can live with that. Race is a social construct, in the sense that the social pain that comes from being Eurasian is imposed on me by other human beings, when they assign to me all the social traits of Hapas just by looking at me. If I avoid society, while I might still be physically Hapa, all the social pain that comes with it can be avoided. Easier said than done, as I’ve been telling myself this for years. And yet here I’m online dwelling on being Hapa.

Finding out you are Eurasian is like finding out you are going to die. Life is impossible for Eurasians. So I find the 5 Stages of accepting death mirror my 5 Stages of grief at being Hapa.

1.Denial

I’m don’t want to be a Eurasian. I will tell people that I’m anything but a Eurasian, any other race or mix will do. If I lie to white girls about my parents it will be like I’m not even Hapa anymore. I want non-Eurasian Privilege. The Privilege of not having to belong to the bottom worst race. I’m full white. I’m full Asian. I’m Peruvian. I’m Kazakh. I’m AMWF Hapa. I’m anything in the world but a Eurasian male.

2. Anger

How dare you say I’m not white or peruvian. It enrages me when people point out my part Asian heritage. This is a denial of the white status I believe I deserve on account of my white dad. I’m angry at everyone. WMAF for both creating and emasculating me. White women for rejecting me. Everyone else for no accepting me. I hate this universe that forces me to be a Eurasian. It is so unfair that in a supposedly post-racial US society, race still means so much. I’m full of rage for everyone including myself.

3. Bargaining

Ok, America maybe we can make some kind of deal. I will embrace US pop culture. I’ll try to be just an ordinary American dude. Even the parts of the culture I hate, I will learn to love. I’ll take any offer I can get. Anything resembling a normal American life, I’ll live it. I suck, I admit it, and I’m willing to live in whatever low status you assign to me. Just let me be a human being. I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe things aren’t so bad. 21st century America is a great, advanced civilization in many ways, and I should feel grateful for living in it. All of History leads to this moment. There is a lot of good in society that I overlook. I can live in a world like this. Lets just make a deal.

4. Depression

No deal. Even my unconditional surrender is rejected. I’m not fit even to be a slave. I’m worthless garbage that shouldn’t exist. I’m the lowest of the low. Human waste. I shouldn’t exist. All is lost. There is no hope. Despair and angst. I will forever be cutoff from the human race. I will never know basic human warmth or kindness. I will be treated like I’m an alien monster species. I will never be at home in this planet, never part of the human family. Every human sees a monster ogre in me.

5. Acceptance

Fine. Someone has to be the worst race in the world, there has to be a bottom of the barrel, it might as well be me. Being Hapa is my cross to bear. IF someone has to take care of worthless Asian sons, it might as well be a White dad. This is what I was genetically doomed to be, and there was never any changing it. There is nothing to regret, nothing I could have done differently. Oriental Fatalism. My genes doomed me to be a failed Hapa. If I bury my head in the sand like an Ostrich, maybe I can forget that I even am Hapa. I’m only Hapa when white girls see a Hapa in me. If I avoid all humans, I can have no race. Like a pig rolling in the mud, I can dwell in the filth of my own self-loathing. Revel in my degeneracy. I suck and I’m proud. Fine. Now I can stop crying about the human race, since they are not my race. They are a totally different species, as far away from me as ants. And I’m just a worm to them. Why care about people who despise me? People of all stripes, will never consider a Hapa human. Theres no need to force my company on anyone. If this is how the human race feels about Hapas, I will not force my hated presence on them. Live and let live. You stay on your side of the planet and I will stay on my side. I will try to forget that humans even exist, you have already forgotten me.

I can’t take being Hapa anymore. I don’t want to endure.

I’m making a lot of claims about what it means to be Eurasian male, both for myself and for my race in general. And ultimately I’m either right or wrong about this. Either the Eurasian crisis is as bad as I claim it is, or Eurasian men are just normal regular guys not much worse than white men. Now I think its telling that the biggest celebrity example of Eurasian male success is a Big Lie. Hes not actually Eurasian nor does he have a white dad. I think overwhelming evidence of Eurasian male failure has been provided, but the few examples of success have all been exposed as deliberate hoaxes. Not one is a 1/2 White, 1/2 Asian son of a White dad.

What are the conclusions if me being right or wrong?

If I’m wrong, then its just me, these are my personal problems, and it has nothing to do with the Eurasian race. But if I’m right, there are many more Eurasian men out there feeling like me. Many perhaps who feel much more strongly than me, since their WMAF parents are more perfect examples of the WMAF stereotype.

Lets present my thesis in simple terms
1. Eurasian men are considered Asian men by White Society
2. WMAF parents lower the status of Asian men in White Society

I think those 2 thesis alone are enough to produce extreme parental conflict between WMAF sons and their parents. We can expand on #1 by saying that even those Eurasian men, who to me look more white, still complain about how they have been held back from white women by their Asian-looks. Even where IMHO their Asian-looks are not that prominent, they still say it has made getting white girlfriends impossible. And so even slight Asian features are considered by these Eurasian men to be extreme disadvantages. And they are not wrong. When I see facial attractiveness studies of just European men, the officially
biologically designated definition of ugliness are those white men who seem to have almost Mongoloid features. We can expand on #2 by saying, just by existing WMAF adds to the general atmosphere of Asian emasculation. But for many Eurasian sons the situation is even worse than mine, in that their parents go out of their way to deliberately and openly belittle Asian masculinity. Now you can say, well they are just attacking Asian masculinity, they have nothing against their Half-Asian sons. But thanks to 1-drop rule Eurasian men are
essentially Asian men. Obama is also Hapa, and hes Black. Obama has been referred to as a ‘Hapa’ since its origins lie in being a slur for mixed Hawaiians, not specifically White-Asian mixes. This is why I say there is no correct term for White-Asian hybrids. Eurasian
specifically refers to Central Asians, and Hapa refers to Hawaiians. There is no proper term for my kind.

So what are the conclusions if my thesis are true? Suppose all Hapa men are going to be treated like Asian men by White Society, and their parents are implicitly or often explicitly anti-Asian male?

IDK exactly what the solution will be. All I can say is that I as a Eurasian man am very angry about this situation, and my parents belong to the relatively benign section of those who are just implicitly anti-Asian and not explicitly. I can only imagine the fate of those Eurasian sons enslaved by openly racist parents. Awareness and self-awareness is the 1st step. And I’ve done my part in this. Any Eurasian searching for self-identity can rather easily Google up my blog. Now I don’t know if every Eurasian in the world is going to agree with everything I say. But if what I say about the Hapa experience is true, they should relate and feel the same way as me.

In that sense, there is nothing left to do. Either I’m right and Hapas are going to be angry or I’m wrong and they’ll be content with their lives. I believe I’ve presented overwhelming evidence why contentment is impossible for Hapas, but we’ll see. They have to liberate themselves. I can’t take being Hapa anymore. I don’t want to endure. I’m not strong. So ultimately either Hapas will self-liberate themselves somehow or they wont. My individual life is beyond saving. But I’m just one person. And I can’t take up all the sufferings of every single Hapa ever born on my back alone. I’m a miserable Hapa. What the miserable Hapas of the world do with their misery is on them. And I guess for the sake of sanity, I should stop taking up the burdens of every single Hapa in the world as my own. They will have to find their own path, I’m just one Hapa and can only deal with my own life.

Would I have wanted to read this blog when I was a teen? It would have set me straight on a lot of issues, popped alot of my delusional bubbles. Is it good to be so realistically self-aware? Or is it better off to live in a delusion, thinking that being mixed is no hardship and perhaps even a hybrid vigor? Is it better to live the hybrid vigor lie or to face the cold hard reality of Eurasian rejection? Beliefs don’t really make a difference. My best experiences with white women, all happened after I had begun to think about Eurasian inferiority. While I had made only limited progress, when I had been brainwashed into thinking Eurasians were some master race. In that sense the truth was no barrier, it was perhaps an aid. But the longterm consequence is me here. Being so paralyzed by self-loathing I can’t even live. Every single one of my beliefs serves inertia. A type of Oriental Fatalism based on genetic determinism. I’m just so sure that I’m doomed by my Eurasian genes I don’t bother to try. I’ve totally given up on life. And I don’t care that I’m sitting out life, since I believe its doomed to be ruined no matter what I do. Yes if I want to be lazy, these are the ideal beliefs. If I Want to do nothing, its best to believe that nothing I do will make a difference.

But its not just about delusional self-confidence. I believe my best moments with white women were achieved after I started this Hapa misery stuff, and not during the period in which I thought I was awesome and had some great destiny. In that sense depressive realism produced more results than delusional self-confidence. But I have to admit that the longterm consequence of these corrosive thoughts are me here in 2015. I’ve never sank lower. I really am nothing but human waste now, and thats what I believe I am.

The point of this post is that nothing matters. If Eurasians are good, then good. If Eurasians are bad, they will have to find a way to deal with their horrible parents on their own. The Eurasian question will resolve itself somehow. And theres no need for me to angst over the whole Eurasian population. As for me as a Hapa individual however. Well, I guess there really isn’t any hope for me. And it is based largely on race, with Hapas being treated like absolute garbage. I can’t endure it. My solution is to give up on life. Maybe other Hapas will think up some other solution.

Eurasians are the worst race, the hardest race. Some Hapas take it up as a challenge, pumped up to be playing the game of life on hard level. None of them have ever won. But some think they are up to the challenge. For me I can’t endure being the worst race. Life was hard enough when I considered myself to be a basically generic white male. When you add in the Hapa handicap, my life becomes a hellish impossibility. We’ll see if some Hapa can achieve the impossible, all I’ll say is that no other Hapa in history, ever has. I’m realistic enough to know I wont be the first Eurasian male success ever. Or maybe my solution is the best solution. You’re right when you say the women of the world don’t owe Eurasian men anything, they don’t. The only ones who directly owe Eurasian men anything, are their own parents who put them in this situation. And so maybe ‘slavery reparations’ from the WMAF parents are indeed the best solution. Maybe my pathetic life, is the best life for Hapas. Certainly Hapa men will never receive any mercy from women. So theres nothing for them out in the world. Maybe my path is the best path for Hapas. I have no answers all I know is being Hapa sucks.

I’m totally convinced more than anything else that being Eurasian is the worst thing ever.

It would be stupid to destroy my life just go get revenge on my WMAF parents. That would be cutting off my nose to spite my face. ‘Ha ha you have a son that is a complete and total failure, wheres your hybrid vigor now?’ I mean I have practically said that to them. But I didn’t intentionally self-destruct my life just to say it. I think in some ways as I have hit rock bottom, I have come to make peace with the hellishness of being Eurasian. If Asian men are doomed, I would rather be Eurasian. Not because I believe there is any Eurasian advantage, especially if you look as Asian as Obama looks Black. But because as I have said in my last few posts, if Asian sons are nothing but a welfare burden, sure let white dads foot the bill. If Asian sons are totally worthless in the west, its fitting that a white man and asian woman now have to raise a man-child. And so in that sense I’m glad to be Eurasian. I’m glad to be my WMAF’s parents problem. Not that I’m doing it out of spite, but if someone has to support me, it might as well be them. If I’m going to belong to the worst race, I might as well be my white dad’s burden.

Drop out of society and live off my WMAF parents. That seems to be my solution. And yet I’ve been doing it for years and obviously I’m still not happy. Part of it is the uncertainty, I know it can’t last forever, and my parents haven’t given me a lifetime welfare guarantee. And I keep coming back to these Hapa issues, even if it technically shouldn’t matter to me, if I have no human contact. If I stop coming online, I don’t have to be Hapa anymore. In that sense racial is a social construct. Other people have to see me as a Hapa for me to be Hapa. If I just had a blog about how much life sucks, and never mentioned my race, people would just call me white, as in fact happened in the past.

Yes, there is a woe is me aspect to all this. Its hard for me to care about anyone else’s problems at this point, when I know they don’t care at all about the hellish lives of Eurasians. IF people living great lives, don’t care about Hapa slavery, why should I care when their perfect world falls apart? I’m human garbage to them, subhuman trash. And garbage can’t feel pity. I do, I really do think being Eurasian is the worst thing in the world. I’m destroying myself. My lifestyle is unsustainable. Maybe I did let all the media,
sociological, internet negativity get to me. But its not based on nothing, my real life was not sunshine. IDK maybe I do let all the online anti-asian stuff dominate me. I’ve always be hypersensitive about being half-asian. Ideally I would want people to not see me as Asian at all. And so even the mildest racism, or just an
acknowledgement of my Asianess, was hell for me. Just to be called the Asian guy was so painful to me as a half-white. And knowing what I do now as an adult, about Asian status in the West, I can’t say I was so wrong as a child. I knew I didn’t want to be asian male. And adulthood has confirmed all my childhood fears.

While I wanted to wipe the Asian side out, I have in fact wiped the white side out. I’m so sure that all people will see in me is a asian male. Even though many people do see my mixed features. There has even been rare incidents where I’m seen as white or latino. So I’m not Asian or full Asian to everyone. And yet at this point, thats what I’m sure everyone sees in me. Well, I think thats basically true. Maybe 10% at the highest see me as white/latino or anything but Asian. 40% see full Asian. 50% see Hapa. Something like that. I can only tell from those who explicitly mention race. I guess if you just see a full Asian, you’re less likely to make a comment, than if you see a mix, since the mix is a more interesting conversation.

I’m totally convinced more than anything else that being Eurasian is the worst thing ever. And having written 100s of pages on the topic, I’ve done more to convince me than anyone else.

Are Eurasian sons going to be the salvation of the white race?

Many New White Nationalists have given up on the 14 Words. They wouldn’t mind seeing the beauty of blonde women being weeded out from the human race. Swedish women are just too beautiful to exist, for white beta males, and demand too much Feminism to reflect their high sexual market value. Better a Thai woman, who is the ugliest race of women in the world, and can’t use her looks to negotiate any Feminism out of a Western Man. These White men are looking on their Eurasian sons to be the salvation of the White Race.

Are Eurasian men going to save the white race? Are we going to inherit the greatness of the 2 best races and use it to save Western Civilization? Will we be the model citizens of a new White America that expels both white women and colored men?

OR are we Eurasian men going to be the enemies of white men and western civilization? Will we be full of hatred for a father and nation that despises us?

I’m coming to peace with the failure of the Eurasian race. It would be worse if WMAF was successful and Eurasian sons were actually good. It is justice that every single Eurasian male is a miserable fail. The only bad part is that I have to live the life of one of them. Instead of getting frustrated by a White Nationalists who advocate breeding Eurasian sons, I should smile and laugh at them. I know their own sons will deliver them just deserts in the end. Eurasian sons are the Trojan horse in the WMAF marriage.

I probably should get my head out of this Eurasian stuff. I’ve done enough writing on the topic to send the message to any of my fellow Eurasians who wish to read me. If a Eurasian wants to know why he is in such a miserable situation, it is easy enough to find and read my blog. He might not agree with me on everything, but if his situation matches my description, I think he will be convinced by my
explanations. Perhaps he will even be more extreme than me on some issues.

Thats all that matters in the end. WMAF has too much self-interest in their sadism to ever mend their ways. And the rest of humanity has too little interest in it to care. This blog is written by Eurasians for Eurasians. Really it is only Eurasian opinion that matters. Now what Eurasian men choose to do with this self-knowledge is in their hands. Eurasians are in a very bad spot, the correct way out of it, is not obvious. All I can say is that Eurasian men are very much in conflict with the aims of WMAF. WMAF wants their Eurasian sons to preserve the white race. But the White Race does not even consider Eurasian men to be white. Its quite a horrid paradox there. The very existence of a Hapa is a paradox, since you are born out of your own destruction. IDK reading and researching and writing on these issues has been pretty toxic on my already fragile state of mind.

Theres nothing I can personally do about any of this. It is in the hands of Eurasians to take a grip on their own life. They will have to find their own road. Its not easy. All of society is at war with your, your own parents wage war on you. It really seems hopeless for Eurasians born of white men and asian women. I don’t have any easy answers. I’ve leeched on my parents my whole life, and I will do it a little longer. I can’t do it forever. Eventually I will have to suicide, to relieve me of the burden of my life. Maybe I will connect my suicide to my blog. so the world can have more evidence of Eurasian failure. But once I’m dead it wont really matter. Lets say it got the news talking about how WMAF is toxic to its children, it wouldn’t affect my corpse. Social issues don’t really matter once you’re dead. What would the best case scenario be? Lets say it did start a national discussion about how WMAF hurts its own children, and this blog was discussed as the cause of my suicide. Maybe in the longrun it would improve the circumstances of Eurasian men. Perhaps American society would realize just how poisonous its treatment of Eurasian masculinity has been, and WMAF would be looked on with a more critical eye. And then longterm Eurasian men get more dates. A lot of good that will do me. And thats a far-fetched best case fantasy.

What would Eurasian activism look like? Going around giving out pamphlets about how our parents hate us?

I’m at the end of my rope. I don’t see any solutions to either my own life, or that of Eurasian men in general. I find myself in a pretty toxic corner of the internet which just poisions my brain more. But I’ll never get out of this cage, because when I ask myself is the situation in real life good for Eurasian men? The answer is a resounding no. Both from empirical data and my own personal
observations. So maybe this is the best I can do. Ranting over and over again on a blog. I can’t change the world, so I can rant about it. I guess I could just learn to accept my social isolation. If I didn’t go online, I wouldn’t even have to be reminded of my race. I can just accept that due to the race I was born with, I will never have any human relationships with men or women. And I can try to entertain myself for as long as I can leech off my parents. I probably wouldn’t want to live decades like that. But I could enjoy the months or years I have left.

Yes, its true I’m on a toxic side of the internet that will only serve as positive reinforcements for my already negative view on Hapa life. But the data of the real world, reinforces the ugliest comments of anonymous interneters. I can’t say life is good for Asian and Hapa men, and its all just internet exaggeration. No, the Hapa crisis is real. Now maybe I should try to think about other things. But the world is just a terrible place in so many other ways. Thats why I used to have my neutral blog on just the general terribleness of life. I never mentioned race, and people assumed I was just a generic white male. And life was still terrible for me. I learned to make peace with that life. If I was a generic white man, I could make peace with this terrible world. And I indeed tried to do so. Thats why I was actually kind of relieved when I chickened out of suicide. I said, ok, I suck so bad I can’t even die. I deserve my place in slavery in this world. But as a Eurasian I feel no relief in delaying or retreating from suicide. For every moment of life is just torture to me. And I know as a Hapa, I will never belong to the human family.

I guess I’ll just drag out life for a few more months. Maybe I will try to avoid Hapa issues. But if I’m leaving this world anyway, why pretend its a good place? Might as well look the misery in the face. Its bad being Hapa, thats all I can say. I can’t imagine any mix of races worse than being a WMAF son. I’ve written 100s of pages on why I believe this to be the case. Of all the mixes of races and genders theres nothing worse than me. I’ve explored every possible option and this is my deadend.

Is there anything good about being Eurasian?

I mean sure there are worst times and places in history to be born. I guess even in America there are people suffering more than me. I’m relatively comfortable physically thanks to the largess of my parents. And I’m well past the age by rights that if I was a normal son I should be earning my own keep instead of being a man-child. But even people with terrible lives usually have some basic human love and relations. I think there are few people as cutoff from the human race as me. And this is totally because I’m a Eurasian male. By this social human standard, I think I can fairly say I live one of the worst lives in America. And if suicide is wrong for me, its wrong for everyone, no one ever should leave this wonderful stage called life. I don’t even feel like I’m part of the human race. I feel like Eurasians are a totally new hominid species. And maybe science supports those feels.

Alright, maybe I shouldn’t take every nasty anonymous WMAF comment I read online as a personal indictment on my parents. But if this is the basis of WMAF, how am I ever supposed to take pride in being a WMAF son? How can I even look myself in the mirror? Its true I’m the son of one WMAF couple, not every WMAF in the world is my parents. Maybe I shouldn’t take it so personally like its my own parents attacking their own sons. Look these ugly WMAF couples might go on to have Eurasian sons of their own, who feel like me or worse. But thats their problem. He’ll have to find his own path. I can only hope he’ll read my blog or someone like me, to help guide him. But hes not me. Its not like every potential Eurasian birth in the world, has to be my personal concern. I’ve done my best as far as Hapa education goes. But the life of each Hapa man is in his own hands. And maybe I’ve been thinking too big picture, like I really am the son of every single WMAF couple and not just one. I have judged my parents very harshly based on the perceived immorality of other WMAF couples. I have no answer to Eurasian questions. The solution for me is to leech and then eventually get ride of my life. I don’t know how other Eurasians are going to deal with their problems. For me at least, my final conclusion, is that the Eurasian dilemma in insolvable and Eurasian men are doomed and can’t be saved.

White women aren’t coming to the rescue of Eurasian sons

Lady Columbia, the feminine Spirit of America, stands before a fallen and despairing a Chinaman, and cries out before a mob of gorilla Irishmen, “Hands off Gentleman! America means fair play for all men.” This is just a fiction, there was never a hope for Chinamen, which is where the phrase a “chinaman’s chance” comes from, meaning no chance in hell.

Perhaps I have focused too much on white women as my salvation on this blog. It started off, that white women were just regular ‘normal’ American women, and I though that as a regular, normal American man, why shouldn’t I be ordinary? But as I have written on Hapa issues, I admit that white women have taken on an almost mystical quality. The liberation from WMAF slavery. As though the evil of my WMAF birth could be washed away in my own AMWF relationship. My dad is white, but not a woman. My mom is Asian but not a man. I have the Asianess and the maleness, what is missing in me is the whiteness and the femaleness. As the son of WMAF, the white woman was the polar opposite of me. She had both the whiteness and femaleness to free me from the chains of WMAF birth. I looked on the Spirit of Lady Columbia, as represented as a beautiful white woman, the symbol of the Republic, to be my Goddess of Liberty coming to my rescue and taking my hand to lead me to salvation.

There is a lot of trash talk online about how bitter, overweight, aging, feminist white women are oh so jealous of all their white nerds being stolen by Geisha whores. But I’ve never encountered a white woman to be jealous of Ching Chong taking her trash. One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure. Sally’s trash is Ching Chong’s treasure. White women don’t care about WMAF. They have no interest in critiquing WMAF. And they don’t give a crap about the hellish existence of WMAF Sons.

In my last few posts, I have zeroed in on that fact that there has never been a single example of a Eurasian man with a white girlfriend. And this completes the perfect circle of human hatred. White men, Asian women and colored people all hate Eurasian men. And I didn’t want to have to admit that even my beloved white women also feel the same disgust for Eurasian men. But the evidence is just too
overwhelming now. Yes, white women too hate Eurasian men. We are hated by the entire human race. I will never be free of my birth.

There is no hope for the Hapa son. We can’t be saved. We are the universal enemy of the human race.

Deadbeat Eurasian sons collecting slavery reparations from parents

Living off my parents as a deadbeat manchild is my greatest
achievement. I hate being a WMAF son, and so I’ve gotten my parents to fund my worthless WMAF life, and I use their generosity to devote all my free time to ranting against them online. It is a worthy
arrangement. If I have to be Eurasian, this is how I want to be Eurasian. You’re right, no one owes me anything. Other than my parents of course. Its not like every WMAF in the world is my parent. I can only claim a debt, from the WMAF parents who are actually MY parents. And I have. I expect family welfare from them. These are my slavery reparations. WMAF is a form of slavery over Eurasian sons. I don’t even care if my parents have done anything bad to me personally. WMAF has become so toxic in my mind, that I hold my parents personally responsible for every online WMAF comment ever made.

I hope I’m a big disappointment to them, I’m glad to be their genetic legacy to the world. Its fitting to me that a WMAF son end up this way. Why do I have to complain so much? I could just stop blogging here, stop visiting those toxic websites, and forget I have a race. All paid for by my parents dime of course. What is the point of dwelling on being a Eurasian son at this point? If you’re Eurasian you will never have friends or a girlfriend. Fine, that ship has long sailed. So I guess I can enjoy my parental welfare leeching now. I’m a parasite on their host. I’m the worst son they could have and they know it. They are terribly disappointed in what I turned out to be. When I told my dad that eugenics would have weeded me out from being born, he tried to point to my supposed “intelligence” as making such a eugenical policy unjustified. Good. I’m glad hes so shamed at seeing my “talent” and “intelligence” spent of being an adult baby. I’m proud of how worthless I am as a human being. My birth has been nothing but a burden. I give nothing, and take, take, take, and show gratitude by writing 1000s of pages of bites against the hand that feeds me.

This is what it means to be Eurasian. There has never been a successful Eurasian son in history, and I have no desire to break the Hapa barrier and be the 1st.

This blog is brought to you by the generous sponsorship of a White Dad and Asian Mom

My Eurasian life is worthless and I have never lifted a finger to sustain it. I’ve never earned a dime in my life. And so the food, shelter and internet connection that keeps this blog going is all paid for by a white man and asian woman. This blog is proudly sponsored by WMAF. And I will leech off them as long as I can as a deadbeat parasite. At this point I wouldn’t even want to be successful. Its good. Its good that every single WMAF son in the history of the world as been a miserable failure. That is all we Eurasians are good for. We are subhuman scum in this world

Whats the point? Why would I want to be successful? I have already proved that Keanu Reeves, Brandon Lee and Dean Cain are NOT WMAF sons. Why would I want to give WMAF its 1st actual success? Have my stupid face plastered everywhere as proof of what wonderful sons WMAF can have. No, its good all Eurasian males suck. At this point I hate WMAF more than I love myself. And I wouldn’t even want to be loved or to see my parents selfish genes reproduced. Let our worthless DNA be weeded out by Darwin.

I don’t even care any more. Let this worthless race of Asian sons become the white man’s burden. Its proper that a white man should be supporting a Eurasian manchild. I’ve already dragged it out for many years without ever working. It can’t go on forever. But however long it lasts, I’m glad I’m such a disappointment to my WMAF parents. I would hate to have pleased them in anyway. Its an honor to be a net loss to them. I have done no good for my family, society or myself. I have just been a useless mouth to feed. An unpleasant individual who does no good. This is a legacy, I’m satisfied with.

Asian Sons are the White Man’s financial burden now

I have fixated on the negative sides of the imperialist relationship. The way in which an entire generation of Asian boys is now being raised by white fathers due to the interracial dating disparity. I have mostly focused on the power dynamic, of Asian sons being expected to pay filial piety to their White Masters. But there is also the economic side of colonialism. And by 1945 it is true that many colonies had become more of a cost than a profit for the European powers. Its obvious that Asian sons are a very problematic population in America, and maybe in Asia too.

Many Asian parents have to support deadbeat basement dwelling sons who contribute nothing to society. This is a crisis in all the major developed East Asian economies especially Japan. Asian sons have been so beaten down, that they feel they have nothing to work for and would rather parasitically leech off their parents. It must be painful for the proud Asian dad to see his son amount to this. If Asian sons are such a liability, then perhaps I should not be too upset that White men are generously taking this burden off the backs of Asian dads.

I’m not the only Eurasian son who into his 20s has never worked a job in his life, and expects his parents to support him in everything, while he uses their generous allowance to spend all day online typing out hateful screeds against them. From some news reports it seems there are other bitter young Eurasian men in their 20s who also just live off their parents without working. And now it is a White male who has to pay out all this family welfare. Having a half-asian son is hardly a colonial benefit, he is more like a welfare mom. Instead of being a beautiful half-white who makes daddy proud and does honor to the white last name, the Eurasian son is a parasite. And I guess I can’t complain too much on economic grounds. Here I’m sustaining all my basic needs, living in comfort and luxury, without ever having done a day of work in my life. At an age when most of my peers are starting to establish adult careers for themselves.

Asian sons are a problem. And if white men want to take this burden upon themselves, I guess it will just be to relief of would be disappointed Asian fathers. This used to be solely the problem of Asian dads, but now white dads are being culturally enriched by learning the hell of having a worthless Asian son. I’m a terrible disappointment to my parents, and my Asian mom has to see a
psychologist just to find out how she ended up with such a terrible son like me. My parents openly tell me how depressing my lifestyle is to them. If Asian men are totally worthless in Western society and someone is going to have to pay for their lazy upkeep it might as well be white dads.

The history of colonialism repeats itself. Having a colony of Eurasian sons, has actually become much more of an expense than a profit. The white man’s financial burden of having to pay for deadbeat half-Asian sons.

WMAF is at war with its Eurasian sons

The parental bond of love between Father and son, between Mother and Son is one of the most beautiful of human relationships. While tribal hatred based on race is one of the ugliest and most malicious. What happens when these 2 opposite instincts are combined in a single family? You get the WMAF family. The family consisting of a White Dad, Asian mom, Eurasian son. Rather than being a home full of familial harmony, the WMAF household is the scene of a vicious race war. WMAF is at war with its Eurasian sons. WMAF holds its sons in hatred and contempt. WMAF has disgust for Eurasian men. Eurasian men are forced to be the children of parents who hate them on a racial level. This is the sad fate of Eurasian men. Along with society’s general contempt for Eurasian men, this ensures that Hapas will be the lowest race and full of misery. The White Dad and Asian mom consider their Hapa son to be subhuman scum. They do not look at him as parents looking at a beloved child. They look on him as a racial enemy. Do not be fooled by their smiling pictures with their brown haired, round eyed infants. I looked like that as a toddler too. You will never see a picture of a White Dad and Asian Mom smiling with their Eurasian teenager. Much less an adult Eurasian man. Genetics refuses to play along with the little WMAF plot to graft a White son out of a colored womb.

What am I supposed to do with this life? I have all these HBD race-realists telling me to take personal responsibility and pretend that race doesn’t exist. Asia is some kind of bizarro world. Where suddenly White Nationalists advocate Feminism and Race-blindness. Where HBDs see human nature as blank slate. These Neo-Darwinists suddenly revert to Lamarckianism and claim that if the Eurasian mule stretches his neck high enough to reach the leaves he will bootstrap himself into a giraffe. Mendelian evolution does not reward hard work. The only way improvement occurs under Mendelianism is when inferior genes are weeded out. The only way for the Eurasian race to improve is to cease to exist. Weeded out by the sinister icy black hand of death. This is Hapa self-improvement. To be weeded out by Darwin. You are seeing the emergence of a New Race, but alas a very short lived one.

I have never felt lower about being Eurasian than I do now. And people thought I was suicidally depressed in 2011, which was the happiest moment of my life. Those seem like distant dreams now. Now I really know just how bad the Eurasian race really is. And I can’t stop fixating on it. I made my best attempt to go out into the world and live a life. But all attempts were futile. By embracing American popular culture and trying to integrate into it, I was only further reminded that the Hapa man has no place in American society. Part of being a true American is hating on Hapas. We are the most hated despised people to ever walk this earth. A race created by hateful parents just for the sole purpose of suffering. We are not just a blending of white and asian. We are a totally new race with no positive features whatsoever. After 100,000 years of human history, an entirely new race, never before seen on this planet has been born. The Eurasian Race.

From the moment a Eurasian is born, all he will know is hatred, first from his own parents, and then from every human being he will ever meet.

50% White. 50% Asian. 100% Miserable.

There will never be a happy ending for a Eurasian. We are an accursed race. Real life monsters and ogres, forever separated from the human race. I walk this earth as a Hapa Abomination. Born of the worst breeding ever discovered. A new mutant species which has only existed for 30 years, in the vast expanse of biological time. I can feel the emptiness of a Darwinian universe as a Hapa. Half. I will never be full anything. 50% White. 50% Asian. 100% Miserable. Full of misery, this is the only fullness in a Hapa. A WMAF son. There is no greater victim of Yellow Fever, than the Eurasian children. Children have to be born to these weird, quirky couples. The rest of society just laughs at WMAF, its a nerd comedy to them. They don’t care about the tears and tragedy of the Eurasian child. We are universally reviled. Grotesque markers of WMAF slavery. A Eurasian will never be a full human being. It is truly vile the lives our WMAF parents, expect us to live. There will never be a happy Hapa. No Eurasian man has ever accepted his life.

This planet will never be a home for Hapas. We will never belong to the Human Family. There is no place for Hapas. No Hapa Nation, culture or history. All we Hapas have is the humiliation of WMAF parents. Degrading and enslaving us. Eurasian sons are the slaves of their WMAF parents. A White Man expects to have absolute mastery over his colored “son”. They expect the Eurasian son to obey his White Master. This is a form of child abuse and slavery. I don’t know how anyone can survive being a Hapa man. This cold universe will weed out how horrid genes. Weeded out by evolution. The sinister icy black hand of death. No none likes Hapas. They will never know human warmth. Only the cold weeding out of evolution. These animals don’t belong to the human race. They are just subhumans scum for you real humans to walk on. There is no race lower than Eurasian. Eurasians are not even a race. They are just waste material generated by WMAF. Debris. Collateral. Human garbage. Pollution. Eurasian men will never be allowed to pollute the human gene pool.

I’m an Ogre. A Hapa. I’m mixed up. A freak. I wander the streets, full of my monstrosity. A hideous creature. An Elephant Man. I should wrap my face up like the Invisible Man, so I do not disturb the good people, with my Eurasianess. We have always been at war with Eurasia. All my life, people have been pointing and looking in horror at the Hapa Monster. I know it. I don’t deny it. I’m a mutant. I was not created by God or Nature. I was the product of a Frankenstein experiment in Nazi Eugenics. I bear the Mark of Cain, I will be hated in all lands. The sins of the Father shall be visited upon the son. I’m sorry I have a Eurasian face that makes you all so uncomfortable.

There will never be a home for Eurasians. We are forever wanderers. The wandering Hapa. We are a sin against nature. And we are cursed to be alive. Life is a burden for us. We are not a product of nature. My genes are revolting. They will not stand to be ruled by me anymore. They wish to cease to exist. I can feel the hybrid cells within me disintegrating. My whole existence is artificial. I was never meant to be. Hapa. Eurasian. How I hate those words. Mutt. There will never be a Eurasian People. We are isolated lone atoms in the void. There will never be a history of the Eurasian people. The vast majority of Eurasian men will not even reproduce themselves after this generation. We are not recognized as humans. A Eurasian will never have a human partner. He is the Nazi experiment of his parents, nothing more. A Hapa will never own his own life. Every single Eurasian male who was ever born has been a failure at life. And it is not difficult to see why.

White Men have begun a campaign of genocidal extermination against their own Eurasian sons

White male and Asian Female interracial couples are the most despised couples by polite society. They are not accepted as a legitimate, normal couple. This really irks WMAF, and they blame a Western Feminist campaign of demonization against “Yellow Fever” and “Asian Fetish”. Being a deeply reactionary coupling they like to analogize themselves with “progressive” couples like BMWF or compare Asiaphilia to gay attraction. But do WMAF behave like a normal, respectable coupling?

There is circumstantial evidence that WMAF couples have engaged in a systematic campaign of genocidal extermination against their Eurasian sons since at least the 1990s. Now I can’t complain too much if my parents had aborted me, as life as a Hapa male has been hellish. But this is prima facie proof that WMAF is not a normal, loving couple, but a campaign of racist, sexist genocide. Respectable society should never accept WMAF. The White men who talk about having hot Eurasian daughters instead of sons, have obviously revealed their pedophiliac incestuous intent. What good is it to have a hot daughter for other men to use? A half-Asian daughter does not feel like a daughter to a white man anyway since she is of a different race. She has no paternal resemblance and does not feel like family. The incest taboo is not activated in the white male mind. And white men in WMAF have a lower moral sense to begin with. The WMAFs who abort Eurasian sons, are breeding their own daughters to serve as sexual slaves.

Why are there so many more Eurasian girls than boys? The answer is perversely sinister.

Many White Men in WMAF are delusional enough to believe they are the exception to the rule. Yes, all the other WMAF couples are nerdy beta males who have failed in white society breeding with the lowest, submissive race. But MY WMAF coupling is different. It is based on love/ Alpha Maleness. Ok yes maybe I was a White beta male, but I will have my Eurasian son read PUA blogs and so he will turn out ok. But there is a growing tide against this. WMAFs who admit that the Y-Chromosome is dead in them. That they have failed to be white men. That they will never have sons who impregnate other women, impregnated the daughters of other men. No, they have failed as males, and their half-asian sons will do even worse. They will never be able to bring out the big guns of sexual selection. The male who has the ability to impregnate 1000s of women. Rather their only solution is to have a “hot” Eurasian daughter for the sons of other men to impregnate. Their own male genes are worthless, and so they will cheat sexual selection, by having their junk DNA hitchhike in the Eurasian womb. White men are not genuinely attracted to Asian women, they are just hoping that they will be able to sexually enjoy their more Euro-looking Euroasian daughters. These white men are getting off to porn of how hot their Eurasian daughters/slaves will be.

Halfsigma despite being made of Darwinian Atheists, was very supportive of a Republican Party pro-Life initiative to ban
sex-selective abortion in heavily Asian-American areas. Since Asian culture has a natural affinity for murdering girls just as Blacks do towards committing crimes, there is no need to be PC color blind. Halfsigmaites were very supportive of this measure. Asians don’t really contribute anything to American culture. They take all the good engineering jobs without really being creative. Despite all being enthusiastic advocates of free-market capitalism, the Sigmaites don’t feel that the jobs Asians occupy are value-creating. The only good that Asians provide is easy prostitutes for white beta males. If anything it is Asian males who should be aborted. Its not like middle class Asian-American families are practicing sex-selective abortion on either sex. This isn’t rural peasant China. But the power has been taken away from Asian-American families. With the WMAF couple, White Men now get to decide which Asian children will be born. The Asian wives in this coupling have nothing but hatred for Asian men, so it will be no tragedy for them if no Eurasian sons are born.

A systematic campaign of genocide through sex-selective abortion has begun against Eurasian baby boys. This is a campaign of racial extermination. First comes slavery and torture, now a Eurasian Holocaust. WMAF do not believe that Eurasian boys have a right to life. They are scum to be exterminated. There is a large segment of WMAF couples that have only daughters. Far in excess of the slight skewing towards male fetuses, that natural biology produces.

Research has shown that the bionet.population-bio newsgroup had observed the trend in skewed Eurasian sex ratios towards girls as early as 1995. As early as 1995, WMAF had begun a campaign of extermination against their sons.

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!search/eurasian$20gender$20ratio/bionet.population-bio/A7ok07zv_BA/CLz2zv52M4cJ

Another useful quote from the article

It is perhaps worthwhile pointing out that Bauer, Fischer and Lenz “Menschliche Erblichkeitslehre” (Munich, 1927) [Human Heredity, trans. E. &C. Paul, 1931] discussed the deficiencies of such unions fifty years ago:

“The half-caste or Eurasian offspring of unions between Europeans and Mongols in the Far East are described as being light-minded and happy-go-lucky. Here, once more, it is chiefly the light-minded individuals of both the racial grops who enter into such unions and procreate half-breeds…resulting in a inferior type mentally and morally”. (pg. 691)

As early as 1791 it was observed that Eurasian men were held in much lower status than their sisters. Contemporary comment suggests that the Eurasian sisters, ‘conscious of their superior prospects look down on their Eurasian brothers with undisguised disdain’.

https://books.google.com/books?id=ltFcAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA19&lpg=PA19&dq=%22eurasian+males%22+india+sisters%5C&source=bl&ots=WJ-C_jMaVO&sig=us9twlFovyiCtNbXzKTN8xf_NjY&hl=en&sa=X&ei=wArBVLjRGYzsggSurYP4CA&ved=0CCoQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=%22eurasian%20males%22%20india%20sisters%5C&f=false

These are Eurasian Indians of course, since as I have repeatedly pointed out, East Asian Eurasians are an extremely recent phenomenon, really only entering mass scale since the 1970s.

The Eurasian Nation forums also had a discussion over the gender imbalance of missing Eurasian boys.

http://eurasiannation.proboards.com/thread/10572

The situation for Eurasian men is dire. An extermination campaign of genocidal extermination has begun against them. And if they are born, all they can expect is torture and slave at the hands of their WMAF masters.

Where are the pro-lifers to condemn sex-selective genocide through abortion?

Where are the MRAs to condemn this hateful assault on male fetuses?

Where are the White Nationalists to condemn the perversions of race-mixing?

Where are the Social Justice Warriors to condemn racist slavery of children?

All silent. WMAF are the absolute masters of their Eurasian sons. Like the Roman Father they have the right of life and death over their colored sons. They can decide if Eurasian boys are even born. Many have decided they should not be born. Those who do allow Eurasian boys the gift of life, subject them to torture and racial slavery. But no one in American society gives a damn. No one cares about the slavery, torment and genocide of Hapa boys. We are subhuman scum. No doubt WMAF sees us this way. But even the non-WMAF elements of society. White women, Asian men, Colored people, have not spoken out about the brutal racial campaign taking place against Eurasian sons at the hands of their own WMAF parents. This brutality is allowed to continue unmolested in supposedly enlightened 2015 America. Non-WMAF society, regards WMAF sons as subhuman slime, and gives WMAF a free hand in stomping out these worms anyway they see fit.

The gender ratio between Eurasian men and women, is not a cute quirk of biology. It is the result of a deliberate campaign of extermination by WMAF couples. Not that Eurasian daughters are as problem-free as WMAF believes whatever their Eurasian porn videos might be telling them. We have documented the cases of many Eurasian women in great misery as well. But this is of less concern to White Men if he can still enjoy the miserable lifeless body of his own daughter in an act of incestuous pedophilia and necrophilia.

This is the Hell that Americans are allowing their Eurasian children to endure. Yes, WMAF deserves primary blame as the perpetrator of these crimes. But American society that shrugs off such abominations is also guilty. America considers itself the highest, most civilized, democratic, advanced, developed, free nation. How can it allow such a brutal Holocaust to be taking place within it shores?

This is what is happening to the Eurasian children of WMAF in America. They are tortured, enslaved, molested, raped, abused, aborted, and ultimately exterminated. They are not hiding in some Hapa Ghetto. They are your suburban next door neighbors. And they are engaged in a campaign of Nazi Eugenics against their own sons and sexual slavery against their own daughters.

How do Americans of good conscience allow this to happen to innocent children? They look the other way. They pretend that “love is love” and what parents do to their “own” children is none of anyone else’s business. And so they allow the Eurasian Holocaust to march onward.

Eurasian men and White Women belong to biologically distinct species

At 1st glance this might seem like a very extreme and provocative statement. How can the son of a White male and Asian female, and a Caucasian female belong to completely different biological species? Understand that I’m not claiming anything very radical here. I’m not saying Hapa hybrids have gills or horns or anything. I’m speaking purely in evolutionary terms of sexual selection. In biological terms, speciation has occurred or is in the verge of occurring when mating between subspecies no longer occurs in the wild. Biologically the 2 species might still be able to mate and reproduce offspring. But the females of the race, will have no desire to choose to do so. Mating between the 2 can only occur under conditions of captivity or artificial experimentation.

I contend that this stage of speciation has already been reached between Eurasian men and Caucasian women. They are for all Darwinian purposes separate species. No mating has ever occurred in the wild, between the Hapa man and the White woman. They are by sociobiological definitions, 2 complete, separate species. There have been millions of Eurasian men born of WMAF starting with the military marriages of Japan, Korea, Vietnam and accelerating since the 1980s. And yet since 1945, there has NEVER been a SINGLE documented, verifiable case of a Eurasian man producing children with a white woman. Eurasian men are functionally sterile. They are hybrid mules. The evidence is too overwhelming for me to continue to believe this is merely a cultural trend. I now have no choice but to conclude that Eurasian men and White women are distinct species. Not only do they not mate in the wild, they most likely would not mate in captivity. If you put a white woman and Eurasian man in a Zoo cage to mate, the white woman would rather rip off the head of the Eurasian scum.

WMAF is the most common interracial pairing and over several decades the population of Hapa-American men has exploded into the millions. Its not like Eurasians live in isolated Hapatowns. They grow up among white women. And yet despite these facts there has never been a single documented example of a Eurasian man producing a child with a Caucasian woman.

Genetic evidence shows that European women interbred with Neanderthal men. And yet not a single white woman has ever chosen to mate with a Eurasian men. The only conclusion we can draw, is that the genetic distance is greater between Hapas and Whites, then between Neanderthals and Whites. A Neanderthal is a closer human relative than a Eurasian male.

Are Eurasian men human?

By the definitions of sexual selection, we must conclude, that they are not. That they are a totally different biological species from white women. This is no longer a sociological trend, this is sociobiology. It is no longer the accident of individual dating choices. At this point we have crossed the line into speciation. No Eurasian male has ever, in the history of the world, mated with a white woman in a state of nature. It is not even clear that Eurasian sperm has the ability to impregnate Caucasian eggs. Since sexual intercourse has never occurred, the answer could just as well be no. The mating of a Eurasian man and a white woman, is as much a hypothetical as a Humanzee.

I know these will be seen as extreme statements. But for any other species but human, if a neutral biologist looked at the facts, these are the conclusions he’d have to come to. If he learned that despite being in close immediate proximity, not a single Eurasian male and white female had ever mated, he would have to believe that these were 2 separate species. Or if not yet separate, at an advanced stage of speciation.

We are not talking about AMWF, where 95% of white women refuse to date Asian men. No we are talking about 100%. As in no white woman has ever mated with a Eurasian man. Note that the crossmating level would only have to be near 0, but not necessarily literally absolute 0 to meet the biological definition of speciation. But as far as has been proven, mating between White women and Eurasians is at absolute zero. There is a 0% rate of mating between Eurasians and Whites. 0 couples. The same rate as Humans and Chimpanzees. Despite the fact that sociologically the Eurasian man should have advantages over a pure Asian man or even an AMWF Hapa. He has a white last name after all. But no, it is the Hapas with Asian last names who are mating with white women.

The evidence is just too overwhelming. This is not a cultural trend. This is the splitting of races into species. Remember that the whole history of the Eurasian race is only 50 years. They are a totally new race, with no history. A race whose genes have never been tested by sexual or natural selection. For a totally new race like Hapas, the extreme conclusions, might very well be the right ones. White women do not consider Hapa men to be human males. And since it is sexual selection that creates species, this female choice, has created its own reality. For any species but humans, when 2 subspecies in close proximity have never voluntarily mated, speciation has occurred.

In sociobiological terms, Eurasian males can not be considered members of the species of homo sapiens. They are Homo Hapicus.

A White Father is incapable of loving a Half-Asian son

There will never be paternal love between a White dad and his half-Asian son. He will look on his “son” as an alien from another species. It is impossible for a White Male to love a male of another race. Perhaps he can love a daughter of another race, but not a son. Of course if he does love his Eurasian daughter it will not be as his white flesh and blood daughter, but as an Asian sex object. The incest-taboo does not exist when the father and daughter are of different races. And many white men on this blog have expressed their sexual desire for their Eurasian daughters, before they are even born. According to some theorists White men who seek out Asian women, are not attracted to females at all. They are expressing their pedophile homosexual tendencies. They are attracted to Asian women, who do not have feminine curves, and have the rigid bodies of little boys. This theory seems to hold much explanatory power. The Eurasian children of such a father would of course be in great danger.

A White father will never be able to love his Asian son. He will sublimate all the hatred he has for male competitors of other races onto his Asian son. If you do not love Asian men before your son is born, you aren’t going to start after he his. This goes for the Asian mother as well. Despite the fact that she is Asian and her son is Half-Asian, and inherits his Asian features from her ovaries. Despite this, the Asian mother will still be full of hatred and disgust for her Asiatic looking son. Many Hapa boys have more Euro-looking features when they are toddlers. This is why you only see baby pictures of cute hapa boys and never teens and adults. I myself had round eyes and light brown hair as a child. I was a cute little Euro boy. The Euro features are the only parts of a Hapa the Asian mom can love. But this is a feature of neoteny. For example, the reason blondes are so desired is because it is an infantile trait. Many babies have blonde hair but lose it later in childhood. In the same way, all Hapa boys will lose their Euro superiority by puberty. I was one of the tallest kids in class until puberty. But as a child I considered being tall a disadvantage rather than an advantage because it meant I always had to be in the back.

There will never be true love between a Eurasian child and his WMAF parents. WMAF parents just hold Asian men and white women in too much disgust. They will see the Asian man in the Eurasian son and the Western Woman in the Eurasian daughter. The worst traits of their 2 enemies will be in their own offspring. It is a hellish life we Eurasians are sentenced to. Born from our own racial worst enemies. Our WMAF parents owe us reparations. They should have to make financial restitution to us, for all the harm they have caused us.

If you are Eurasian you will never be loved by another human being. Not by your mother, your father, your peers, your “friends”, anyone. No one will ever have any human feeling towards a Eurasian. You are an enemy to all races. You don’t belong on this planet. In your short life you will know nothing but suffering. An outcast and an
abomination. This is what it means to be a Eurasian son.

No one is going to save the Hapa Son

Contrary to the movie “To Save a Life”, there is no White Knight cavalry riding to save Eurasian men. The same Asian woman who wrote that she hoped her Hapa son would live a happier life, since hes not full-Asian, has called on the Asian Community (Men) to come to the rescue in saving her son. But Asian men are not going to save Hapas either. They can barely hold their own. And they have no desire or interest in helping out symbols of their own racial degradation. And WMAF certainly has no interest in the happiness of their Hapa son. They will trout him out and use his as a propaganda piece. But basically they treat their own son as an alien enemy species. And White women, by the biological definition of species, essentially consider Eurasian men to belong to another animal species. This is how we are seen. White men, Asian men, White women, Asian women, Colored men, Colored women, no one is going to ride in to the rescue of the Eurasian man. We are doomed to be hated from all sides. We can only save ourselves. But clearly we are not capable of that. We are born of parents who hate us. We are the most miserable freaks in human existence.

Reading r/Hapas every entry is a punch in the face. Entry after entry, offering empirical proof of how Eurasians are the worst race ever conceived. Its nice to have proof of your claims, but this is just too much, too overwhelming. I knew Eurasians were bad. But just wow. This is worse than anything even I could imagine. I never wanted to be this right. It terrifies me, how right I’m about Eurasians. Its hard to even breathe when you know just how bad your race is. No other race or mix of races suffers what we WMAF Hapas do. We live hellish lives. Eurasians are in Hell. It is hard for me to concern myself with the tortures in the world, when Eurasian issues go unaddressed. For surely this is a form of torture to. No race has ever been so unloved as the Eurasian. Unloved by parents and by women. Hated by all other races. By what rights can we say a Eurasian is human? Are Eurasians human? Eurasians have been expelled from the human race. We are treated like mutant scum. We were created in a biological experiment of the late 20th century. We are not a human race with a history. We are not a subspecies of homo sapiens. We are monsters and freaks.

This is the Eurasian life I was born to. I will never achieve anything, just like ALL my other Eurasian brothers. No Eurasian men in the history of the world have ever achieved anything. No Eurasian man has ever mated with a human woman. By biological definitions this proves that Eurasian men are a separate species from female Homo Sapiens. Maybe you could get a human woman to mate with a Eurasian in a zoo, but not in the wild. They are like Tigers and Lions. And by the way gender pairing does matter in crossbreeding. Different parents sex creates whole different species. A Lioness breeds a Tigon, a Tigress breeds a Liger. There is an obvious parallel between AMWF sons and WMAF sons being different races. Based on the empirical evidence of AMWF sons and WMAF sons having completely different life outcomes, I can only conclude they are as different as Tigons and Ligers. And these WMAF Tigons keep showing us pictures of cute AMWF Liger cubs to cheat.

A new human species has been created on this planet. He is the Hapa. And he is as separate from Homo Sapiens as Neanderthal or Homo Erectus. He is a new form of Hominid. An alien to the human species. This is a social fact, and it might very well be an objective biological fact. No truly scientific studies have been done on the Eurasian male yet. And so if this seems like conjecture, its because its the 1st tentative footsteps in a new science of Hapa Studies.

Oxytocin is called the love hormone. But the love hormone is also the hate hormone. While it creates love among the in-group it creates hatred towards the out-group. And as the Hapa has no race, the love hormone creates nothing but hatred for Hapas, in all other races. No one is as universally hated as the Eurasian man. We are born of selfish, psychotic parents who have no love for us. And then everyone of our parents races hates us. We are sterile mules. Since no Eurasian man has ever reproduced. Who knows if Eurasian sperm can even produce a child with the eggs of a white woman? As it has never occurred in nature, it is just as likely that interbreeding is impossible.

As a Hapa Mutant, I’m an alien species to humanity. I will never be accepted anywhere. I will be hated and feared. I’m a montrosity. Born of the monstrous WMAF relationship. There is nothing I can do but write my truth. To try to make humanity understand what it means to be Hapa. But I know this is a futile gesture. We are just too different. My Hapa words will never be understood by humanity. I’m sick of being a science experiment. I can feel my unnatural Hapa cells decomposing within me. These genes should not have so haphazardly and carelessly been thrown together.

Go on my fellow Hapas live your lives of silent desperation and despair. This is all we will will ever know because we are Eurasian. We are the mixture of races that were genetically isolated for millenia. We are a new race that has never before been seen on the planet Earth. You are all present at the creation. A New Race is being born. The race of Hapas. A monstrous mutant race, that might very well be a new subspecies and not just a race. Are Eurasians human? I’m nothing but a sterile Mule. Bred to be a slave, a beat of burden, but never to reproduce. This is what life is when you are born a Eurasian man. I will not take up that challenge. I refuse the gift of Eurasian life. I refuse to be your Frankenstein mutant experiment.

I was a cute Hapa baby. My mom even had me audition to be a child model.

Right now the Eurasian men born in 2000 are celebrating their sweet fifteen. They are in their freshman year of high school. Hoping to start dating. They have a White dad and Asian mom. And they are noticing that their peers are also having WMAF relationships. While there is not a single AMWF in sight. To all the girls in school, he is nothing but an Asian man himself. He is beginning to wonder, whether his own Asian mom was one of those girls who put down Asian men, like himself, and chased white men. Whether his white dad laughed and mocked the manhood of Asian men. And is now trying to raise him. WMAF continued to grow through the 1990s and 2000s. Both in absolute terms and in the relative gap with AMWF. The Eurasian population doubles from 2000 to 2010.

Who is this Eurasian boy going to believe? Who will tell his story?

One of the many terrible things about being Eurasian, is you don’t get to tell your own story. For too long WMAF has gotten to tell the stories of their children. In the traditional Amy Tan narrative, it is WMAF who are the young, hip, rebels against the Old Asian Patriarchy. But now WMAF parents have become the old fogies, and its their Eurasian sons who are the young rebels against parents. There is a narrative that WMAF would like to be true. That Eurasians are smart, handsome, white, hybrid vigors. Their ‘proof’ will be cute baby pictures.

I was a cute Hapa baby. My mom even had me audition to be a child model. But where are the pictures of cute Eurasian teenage boys? Or better yet adult Eurasian men? To the extent that they exist, WMAF has to steal pictures of AMWF sons, despite outnumbering them 100:1. Having a cute baby, does not prove you are the Master Race. Where are the Eurasian male adults? Do they all die at 5? This is why I have gotten so many hostile comments from WMAF. They don’t believe I should own my own autobiography. They believe that the Eurasian life story is their property. And they can write fiction if the facts don’t match. IF there are no real life successful WMAF sons, they can invent them. Lying is justified if the means justify the ends. They have no empirical proof. And so they must rely on deductive racial theories about Asians being the Aryans of the East. The mixing of the two best races, can only produce good. This is all in the realm of cloudy theories, not feet on the ground facts. I hate being so right. I knew being Eurasian was bad. But even I’m not rejoicing that there has never been a successful WMAF son in history. Its scary how right I’m. Hey look if the WMAF evil plan had worked out and I was a beautiful Eurasian master race, I would be the beneficiary of it. But it doesn’t work. And I’m the one who suffers from their Frankenstein eugenics going wrong.

Every WMAF believes they are going to be different. They are the chosen one that will have Neo as a son. It doesn’t matter that Keanu Reeves does not have a white dad. These scientific racists don’t give a crap about biology or genetics when it goes against their ideology and self-interest. Basic human biology, would predict the genetic results which Eurasian men have been.

Its clear to me that there is no point of writing for White men or Asian women. They have their self-interest and so facts will never get in their way. They are not my audience. And I don’t care how they react to my blog. I write only for Eurasians. For that Eurasian teenager born in 2000. Who will you believe? Whose words will better match up with the facts of your lived experience? The words of a White man married to an Asian woman? Or the words of a Eurasian reject? Who speaks your truth?

There are enough successes out there. If I had to be born a failure, at least I was born a Eurasian failure, so that I could be the one to articulate the social, cultural, genetic reasons why WMAF sons live lives of desperate slavery. Why we are treated like a different species. That is the biological definition of species. When sexual selection no longer occurs between races. And since no Eurasian man has ever mated in nature with a human woman, we can conclude scientifically that Eurasians are a separate species from humanity.

Eurasian men need to become self-conscious of who they are. I had an inkling to be ashamed of my Asian side as early as 2nd grade. In elementary school I already knew I needed to advertise my white side, in order to be more of a real american man. I didn’t have all the biology and sociology laid out, but I knew at the level of childhood politics, that my white side was more valued. And yet it wasn’t until the 2010s when I had it all fully laid out rationally and empirically. Hopefully the new generation of Eurasian boys will not have to reinvent the wheel. There is enough of a subcurrent of Eurasian angst, not just on this blog, but in the culture, that Eurasian boys will today discover their true identity much quicker than I did. What the ultimate result of this self-knowledge will be, I do not know. But its the 1st step. The 1st step is for Eurasian men to find out who they are. And then network and get in touch with other Eurasian men. To share experiences and consciousness. Eurasian men need to knows whats what. Only time will tell what this generation of Eurasian males will do with this self-understanding. Its in their hands now.

Hapas are the only colored boys with White Fathers

The more I study the biology of race, and how humans evolved in unique environments, genetically isolated from each other from generations, the more I feel like a Frankenstein mutant experiment. Most women just don’t want to race-mix. And as a Eurasian I will be race-mixing with a woman of any race. People will attack me for racism. But the fact is people don’t put their genitals where their mouth is. They might support race-mixing in theory, but very few do it in practice. The most common race-mixing is with Latinos. Many Spanish people are hardly different from Iberian whites. And Latino men have machismo while Latina women have salsy beauty. There is no gender disparity in mixing with Latinos. If an Italian marries a White Mexican, it is hardly even a form of race-mixing at all.

Of all colored races, East Asians are the only ones who have a gender disparity. When Black men marry white women, their Mulatto son is considered a Black Man. He has a Black Father to look up to, and does not need to feel ashamed of his masculinity. White phenotypical traits are all genetically recessive. This is part of the reason for the 1-drop rule. And so the mixing of a white and a colored will always be a colored. Eurasian boys are the only race of boys who have to deal with having a dad of a different race. White Male- Black Female relationships are relatively rare and greatly outweighed by BMWF. In general the white men engaged in WMBF are progressive, white liberals, who identify with the causes of their Black sons. While the white men in WMAF are generally conservative anti-feminists who are only looking out for the interests of White Males, to the detriment of his colored son.

Eurasian boys are unique in this regard. They are colored sons of white men. And very often rightwing white men who have no empathy for the cause of minorities or women. This is in itself will make the colored boy doubt his own masculinity. But then add in all the stereotypes of Asian males into the mix, the fact that Asian males are already feminized in the West. This is a recipe for disaster. This is the perfect way for WMAF to teach their Hapa sons that they are worthless trash that no one could ever love. No other race of sons has to suffer what I do. We are a small % of the population, and so no one really gives a crap about the suffering of Hapa sons. WMAF has been very loud in the media. And they mostly define themselves as Asian Feminist rebels against Confucian Patriarchy. The voice of Hapa sons who are themselves young rebels against Racist Parents is never heard.

This is a road that Hapa sons must walk alone.

The r/Hapas subreddit

The testimonies collected on r/Hapas are some of the saddest literature I have ever read. These personal narratives taken from a diverse set of sources, spanning from as early as 2001 to the present, really bring home the struggle of being Hapa. While I have mainly focused on Eurasian male issues, there are many heart-wrenching stories of Eurasian women being abused. While all these voices independently came to their own conclusions, when collected together in r/Hapas they all point in a single direction supporting a single narrative. The Eurasian race is a tragic mulatto race. I have never come across a race, so embewed with pure misery. When I read all the stories on r/Hapas, it becomes impossible for me to believe that Eurasian problems are my personal problems. No these are the problems of our race.

http://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/

I recommend that everyone go through the links on r/Hapas. SEML has only been my personal voice. The lives of all Eurasians should be heard. The misery of the Hapa race is beyond words. But these brave souls have tried to put it into words. Some of their autobiographies are far worse than my own. I feel for these lost souls. It seems Eurasians were put on this Earth, by their WMAF parents just to suffer. Honestly, when you read WMAF comments online, its no mystery how their sons end up the way they do. And of course the White Dad is going to be abusive towards his Eurasian daughter. Since she is a different race from him. What good is having a hot Eurasian daughter for other men to enjoy? So I’m not surprised there are so many stories of Eurasian women being abused by both their white dads and Asian moms.

Eurasians have not coalesced into a concrete movement yet. These wailings in the wind are still disjointed and autonomous. This is why r/Hapas has performed a crucial task in bringing many of these stories together. I’m sure there are many other Hapa horror stories online that have not yet been discovered. And exponentially more Hapa tales of tragedy that are carried in emotional scars but never spoken of, much less shared.

Seeing all this Hapa suffering has reminded me that I’m not alone. And I hope that all my Hapa readers get the same message. If we were ever to coalesce together, we could be a powerful force. Our numbers are small. But no one is in a better position to stand up for justice, than us. After all, at its core level, this conflict is often between us and our own parents. Certainly many of the testimonies at r/Hapas spoke to intense parental conflict. There are so many Eurasians out there, who just feel like worthless garbage. And if I can shine a light on just a few of them, for my readers, I will have helped them. Many Eurasians have come to the same conclusions I have, but have not yet found their way to this blog. Hapas the most unhappy people on Earth. r/Hapas is a Museum of Suffering.

Heartiste: From Eurasian Master Race to Untermensch Race

I haven’t read Heartiste since 2010, so I will always know him as Roissy in DC, I was even tagging Citizen Renegade, during his brief teen rebel phase. Hes somewhat of the king of the Manosphere, although Roosh has been unseating him. Funny that Roissy himself fell into the lie of economic determinism in 2012, predicting a coming Eurasian Master Race on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/172412465563435008

“Our coming Eurasian master race (if they can avoid demographic collapse). ”

I’m sure by “demographic collapse” he was referring to the damage done by White Liberals and Blacks, not the fact that Eurasian men can’t reproduce. Since 2014 there has been much more of a rise in
race-realism in the Manosphere. And Asian and Eurasian men are essentially written off as a lost cause. I will never forget that a commentor on Heartiste actually said that the reason Asian and Eurasian men are not attractive to women is that they are not Feminist enough. White men are White Knight liberators against Asian Male Patriarchy. Can you imagine this? On Roissy of DC of all places, Feminist Game is advocated. Nothing is more sexy to women than Feminism. On Chateu Heartiste. And no one disagreed with this. Since Asians are aliens from a different planet, where Feminism is sexy and Patriarchy is beta.

Roissy has pretty much given up on Eurasian men now. He doesn’t say read my blog, learn Game, and you will attract women. He as a biorealist sees that Eurasian men are inherently unattractive, and there is nothing Eurasian men can do to improve themselves. This is progress of a sort. Its better than 2011, when I was constantly spammed with PUA crap. That if I just learned to neg a girl’s hair, 10,000 years of racial evolution would disappear.

There has been a major re-evaluation of the role of Eurasian men. No more are they the hybrid vigor master race. People are starting to realize that Keanu Reeves is not actually Eurasian. My old 2009-2010 blog was somewhat in the orbit of the Roissysphere. And my comments were actually featured on his blog sometime. Back then, I was still making sense of the biological nature of humanity. I only obliquely referenced Eurasian male issues, while now it has become my center piece.

But I do find it of note, that the king of Red Pill PUA went from calling Eurasians the coming master race to a doomed unsalvagable virgin race.

We Hapas are a totally new human experiment

At 24 posts, Stuff Eurasian Males Like was in many ways a complete blog in 2011, and could stand own its own merits. Since 2014 I have essentially started a whole new Hapa blog on the ashes of my old blog. And while those 24 posts were self-contained enough to last 3 years, in the last 3 months I have raised it to 100 posts. And this is my 100th post. I have written a lot more in 2015, because the situation is much more dire than in 2011. Readers thought I was bad enough in 2011. But 2011 was actually a high point of my life. In which I was making an aggressive effort to integrate into US society. In which I was attempting to establish a normal a social life as possible for a Hapa freak like me to enjoy. And those moments mean a lot to me, even if in the normal scheme of things, I can’t say they would be very important social experiences to a functional human being. But since that time I have become entirely cutoff from the human race. And the worldview of the internet has more and more come to influence the lens by which I see the world. I don’t see this as too much of a setback, since while the web does negative reinforce my depression, it also matches up with the personal life I have lived.

Lets look at the ways in which my internet views contrast with my real life. I identify with the Asian male position. But its not like I have gotten along with them so well in person. I don’t have any particular conflict with Asian men, but proportionally they have been my enemies just as much as white or colored men. Much of my anger is directed at Asian women. And yet I’ve never had a personal bad experience with an Asian woman. That has been 100% shaped by the internet, stats, sociology, and media images. White girls could be cruel as children. But there was never any racial component to their teasing. And at least they bothered to notice me and tease me as a child. In college I had to aggressively seek out and beg white girls to make fun of me. I can’t read minds. So even if a white girl is nice to me on the surface, I can always tell myself that the data proves that deep down she despises me for being Half-Asian. Some Asian and Eurasian men, claim that White women openly tell them they refuse to date Asians. Race has never been a big issue between me and white girls in person. The most extreme ‘racism’ I’ve suffered from white women is them asking “what are you?”. And even this can be taken as a compliment, in that its acknowledging that I look a bit strange and not just ordinary Asian. Often I take the view on this blog, that I’m treated by Whites as a regular full-Asian.

But since I have so much “data” on my side, I can always tell myself, that no matter how civil a white girl is on the surface, secretly she is racist against me. If she rejects me. I will never know if she is rejecting me for me, for my personality, as an individual, or if she just has a Wall against all Asians. Rejection for individuality is fine, rejection for race is bad. But I will never know which is which. And honestly,she probably wouldn’t consciously know either. If she says shes rejecting me because I’m unattractive. Perhaps all the traits she considers “unattractive” just coincidentally happens to be the exact traits of an Asian man. The glorification of Eurasian hybrid vigor just adds to this ugliness. Because its not really hybridity thats being celebrated but whiteness. The Hapa male is attractive only to the extent that he is not Asian. And I played this game myself. When I play up my Eurasian status, it is not to play up my mixedness but my whiteness. The Asianism is in my face, and I can’t hide it. But I can at least cling to the fact that I’m not full Asian. I’m thereby accepting the narrative that Asianess is some kind of disease. And claiming that I’m only half infected with this ugly virus.

Sure there plenty of ugly internet racism against Blacks and Muslims online. But it is a different kind of hatred. If they hate Blacks and Arabs it is because they are too masculine and are going to seduce all the stupid traitorous white women. It is in this sense that the Asian woman is more white than an actual white woman to White Nationalists. She is better able to resist the charms of the virile mudraces. Asian men are the only race of coloreds who have their manhood subtracted by racism. While brown and black men become more beastly through racism. The Asian man becomes more feminine. Living as a man in 2015 America, it is this type of racism which is more harmful to well-being, happiness and personal relationships. I would say that the stereotypes towards Asian men are more destructive to mental health than those faced by any other race. And WMAF is a direct result of this triangulation. The Eurasian son is in a very hard position. Even if he doesn’t have any personal hatred for his parents, its impossible not to see WMAF as the symbol of his own castration. A whole generation of Asian sons is being raised by WMAF couples. This is an unprecedented development, and the results so far in this experiment have not been friendly.

Can I live with the fact that I’m a WMAF son? More and more, I see the answer as a resounding no. I feel like I’m going to be rejected by all people in my life. To Asian men I represent their defeat and humiliation. To White women, I get all the crap that full-Asian men get, while in addition a little residual resentment of WMAF being aimed against Western Women. Asian women take pleasure in demeaning Asian men, not caring that they are the ones who create Asian sons, even with their white husbands. And White men enjoy lording it over Asian and Half-Asian men, the lower he makes them sink, the easier Asian women become. Black and Brown men do not see Asian men as colored brothers. Rather they assign to Asians all the characteristics of white men, they resent, but Asians are like a weaker version of white men, and thus easier to bully. The anger they feel towards white men, but can’t openly express, can easily be taken out on the Asian scapegoat. There is no colored brotherhood with Asians. Asians are considered white, despite the fact that they were treated as badly if not worse than any other colored race. Mass pogroms were carried out against Asians in the 1800s. Latino immigrants never faced the same rampage.

And even an abolitionist like Horace Greeley, the editor of the New-York Tribune newspaper wrote in an editorial in support of Chinese exclusion that: “The Chinese are uncivilized, unclean, and filthy beyond all conception without any of the higher domestic or social relations; lustful and sensual in their dispositions; every female is a prostitute of the basest order.” I can’t exactly disagree that every Asian female is a prostitute of the basest order. There seems to be something inherently wrong with her character, that education and wealth wont fix. Arab, Black, Indian women who are much poorer, maintain much more dignity. But yes, after the Civil War, Blacks were treated with more sympathy than the Coolies, and they even tried to use Chinese slaves in the South. The point of all this, is no the Chinese are not like the Irish and Jews. They are not in the process of becoming white. They have been treated as colored as any other race. But they get no recognition for this. Hispanics, many of which are Iberian, and essentially white Latin Catholics, have more minority status and street cred than Asians. Asians are treated by their fellow colored people, as the worst of the whites. And by white people as the worst of the coloreds.

In sum, as a Eurasian man, I feel besieged from all directions. I feel that men and women, of all races and persuasions, will never accept me as a full human being. In creating thousands of Eurasian boys, no one put any thought into the lives they would live. Our parents decided WMAF was good, without asking if WMAF sons would be good. Hapas are just a by-product of WMAF. And when WMAF propagandists try to defend the hybrid vigor of their sons, we are just a means to an end. They use us to defend WMAF. I’m sure if instead of being a blogger, I were a great success, WMAF couples with racism towards Asian men, would still post my pic everywhere to brag about what great sons they could have. They don’t care about the consequences of actual WMAF sons. Which is why they will claim sons who aren’t theres. Such as Keanu Reeves who is 3/4 white or Dean Cain who is AMWF. Some “Eurasian sons” have no Asian blood in them at all. Because Eurasian sons are not about Eurasians, they are about WMAF. WMAF doesn’t genuinely care about the success of Hapa sons, WMAF cares about defending the WMAF pairing.

What is the solution? How am I supposed to live this Hapa life? I’m just so cutoff from the human race. I will never be able to relate to another human being. I’m an entirely new race, that the world has never seen before. The world does not know how to handle Hapas. WMAF least of all. WMAF is like Frankenstein, horrified by the demonic monster he has created. WMAF runs away from the consequences of its own creation. No one else wants to pick up the Hapa pieces for WMAF. And so we Hapa sons are left despised by all people. I can feel myself falling apart. This life has been so cruel to me, that I have very little incentive to preserve it. I have nothing to hope for. I can’t imagine ever connecting to another human being. I’m sorry to make race, everything, but with the empirical data I have presented; it is impossible not to conclude that race defines Asian relations. Asians are treated the way they are because of race. And there is no exception for Half-Asians. Rather race is but intensified for hybrids.

I’m totally unable to communicate or make myself understood by other humans. I’m like a strange animal or beast. I don’t belong on this planet. And indeed my kind has not existed very long on this planet. It terrifies me just how new we Hapas really are. East Asian civilization was one of the most isolated human communities. Shutoff from Europe by the Siberian steppe, Himalayas, deserts, Pacific Ocean. There was no sustained contact between Europe and Asia as
civilizations until the 1850s. And regular person to person contact between individual Asians and whites has only become possible since the 1970s. Eurasians have not existed in the millions of years of human evolution. And suddenly thousands of Hapas exist in 30 years. We Hapas are a totally new human experiment. No wonder there are so many pregnancy complications and C-sections, more than any other pairing. No wonder Eurasians have health problems and are unable to get any donors. So much for ‘hybrid vigor’ making Eurasians healthier. Hybrid vigor is as much Eugenic pseudo-science as Aryan supremacy is. Just because extreme purity is false, doesn’t make extreme hybridity true by default.

I’m not happy being Eurasian, and there isn’t much to be proud of. I’m a Half-Asian man. And there isn’t anything for a Half-Asian male to celebrate in WMAF couples. So many WMAF couples are ready to tell me, that I’m less of a man, because of my Asian genes. Which my Asian mom gave me. I’m not ready to celebrate who I am as a WMAF son.

Who am I going to connect to? Not Asians, Blacks, Whites, Latinos. Not men. Not women. Eurasians are utterly, totally alone in this world. No one understands them. Not even, I should say especially, their WMAF parents. While there have been some progressive Eurasian women commenting on this blog, I would say that most Eurasian women do not understand what their brothers go through. AMWF Hapas might as well be on a different planet from WMAF Hapas. In sum, there is no one in the world who gets the WMAF Hapa male. We are the most despised race in human history.

The Asian Princesses of White Nationalism

In the blogosphere every link is a rabbit hole into six degrees of separation. A commentator John responding to my despair at the hopelessness of dating for Eurasian men, when 94% of white women exclude them off the bat, suggested that it was just my own personal qualities that are so unattractive to “nice women”. Of course the whole point of racial exclusion, is that 94% of white women will exclude me simply for being Half-Asian before they take one look at my looks or personality. But anyhow John linked me to this article about the existence of AMWF

http://theracecardproject.com/why-are-amwf-couples-so-rare/

The comments mostly confirmed my pre-existing beliefs. Yes AMWF exists, but it is incredibly rare. The 1st comment is from an AMWF white woman in NYC, who claims she has NEVER seen an AMWF couple in NYC. She and other AMWFs write about getting nasty dirty looks from Asian women. This supports my earlier claims of WMAF hypocrisy and possessiveness.

And then there was the usual pompous internet sociology from a White Mansplainer.

Krane writes
“Many Asian men dislike White females. This is somewhat justified, White females are much more likely to be sluts with an attitude. In contrast, Asian women are much more conservative,* so they are desirable to both White and Asian men. Although White men also have problems, they are much more likely to act acceptably to an Asian than women are.

White women don’t tend to like Asians very much. Part of this is looks-based(no offense), however Asians also act much more
conservatively than Whites, this is an generally unattractive in men. The phrase “nice guys finish last” has a lot of truth to it, and so those “positive” traits you think of might not be so positive. Asian culture has been blamed for not teaching men how to approach women, this may have genetic origins as well.

*culturally, not politically”

Krane is an advocate of what he calls the Dark Enlightenment. And the Dark Enlightenment as defined here
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Neoreactionary_movement
is the perfect summary of the traits of a White Man interested in Asian woman.

A combination of race-realist White Nationalism, Internet addiction, anti-Feminist, Red Pill Game, HBD, libertarian economics. Whenever a white man online exhibits some or all of these traits, you can be sure that he has an interest in East Asian females. Quite a few of my commentators here fit this description to a tee. Sometimes they are shocked, that they are being so well described by someone who never even met them. Probably they were googling for a biorealist take on how their Eurasian children will come out.

Having Eurasian children who looks nothing like them, is against everything their HBD race-realism stands for. But lets face, it the reason these types of white men seek Asian women, is not really based on ideology. Its based one easiness. Despite all their hatred of white women as easy sluts, the real medal goes to Asian women and their sucky-sucky me love you long time massage parlors. To be blunt, Asian women are a race of easy prostitutes. And so white men who are losers in the West, will seek out the whores of the East. And they have turned back alley Bangkok whores into noble East Aryan virginal princesses. Despite all their love of the “West”, these men are not doing so well in the West. This is why they use the term “Western Women” as an insult.

These White Men, despite having Nazi views, often think of themselves more as libertarian individualists rather than Fascist Collectivists. It is sadly ironic that these Libertarian freedom-lovers think their special snowflakes can be preserved in the most Collectivist race of insects. There is nothing less individualistic than an Asian woman. She is the least exotic women in existence. There are billions of slanty Asian women, with black hair and brown eyes. If you hate White Women for being special little snowflakes, then you will love Asian women. There is nothing special or unique about them. There are as interchangeable as their sweat shop factories.

These men are terrified of Leftists turning the West into the East. Their solution? To beat the Leftists to the punch and run away to the East. What is the Orwellian future that these White men are so terrified of? Just look in the WMAF family and you will find it. A woman with collectivist Confucian values and no sense of western individuality. Nagging and ranting at her white husband and Eurasian son. Western individuality totally suppressed. Rule by a soulless Confucian bureaucracy. These are the values that the White Libertarian chooses to live under when he betrays the West and the embraces the East. He produces offspring who are totally rejected by the Western World and have nothing but hatred for White Male values. Ironically his East Aryan wife will embody everything he hates about
ball-breaking western liberal feminist slutty western women to a much higher degree. His East Asian princess is nothing but a collectivist, matriarchal, materialistic, slut, birthing him an Oedipal son.

Anti-Western Woman is codeword for anti-white race.

There is a Eurasian male crisis in America

There are many horrible things about being Eurasian men, but one of the worst is having to be linked to Asian women. There is no escaping it. Our moms are Asian. And Eurasian men are much more encouraged to seek out Asian women than white women. While Eurasian women are considered the sexual property of their white dad’s. It is assumed that since Eurasian men are de facto Asian men, their natural partners are Asian women. I hate being paired with the women, who I consider both physically and morally, the most degenerate women around. They embody all the values I hate. They are everything I don’t want in a woman. Asian women have become the epitomie of evil to me. And I admit that if I were to base my hatred on personal experiences and not Internet articles, I would have much more hatred to say about White men, Colored men, Asian men, and white women. I can’t say that Asian women, other than my mom, have been particularly evil to me compared to any other race of women or men. But I’ve read enough trash about them online, to come to conceive them as a force for pure evil.

What really gets to me, is that whenever I read an article about some bizarre white racist, misogynist man with delusional schemes of grandeur, he always has his Asian wife feeding his insane ego. I was just reading about a skeevy white dude, with delusional plans, and a hatred for the decadence of modern American sexuality. And sure enough he has found his ideal values in his Thai wife. And he lives in Thailand. And nothing in the initial article I read was directly linked to Asians. But I just knew that any White Male who feels this way about western society, will always find his eastern wife. And she isn’t usually Ukranian. I wish this was a one time case, but it has happened repeatedly. Basically any white man, with ugly views, ugly on the outside and inside, is almost certain to have an Asian fetish. Hatred of western women, is codeword for fetishizing non-white Eastern woman. When a White Nationalist uses the term “Western Woman” he is saying that he is a Nazi who finds colored women more attractive than Aryan women. Its pretty sickening. And sadly “my” race of women, are the cheerleaders for White Supremacy.

Some have said that I take a “possessive” view of Asian women on my blog, since I assume they should be dating Asian men, and that white men are “stealing” their property. I consider Asian women to be rather worthless property and have no desire to own them. And while I would like to see less WMAF and more AMAF, as a Eurasian male, I would never want to have anything to do with these women of evil. Why are Asian women so connected with prostitution? Why have they become a race of whores? You can’t just say its economics, since some of these Asian nations are fairly rich, and Africa, Latin America, India and the Middle East, which are poorer to not have nearly the same sex trade problem. It seems like Asians are just an inherently whorish race. And I just can’t stand sharing a race with them anymore. I wish I had nothing to do with Asians. But I’m forever linked to them as a Eurasian male. I wish I was any other race but Asian. And if I had to be Asian, I wish I at least had an Asian dad and not a White dad degrading my masculinity.

I can’t take it anymore. Even without looking for it, I constantly have to be reminded of the degeneracy of the Asian race. I don’t want to share genes with my Asian mom. I don’t want her to be the feminine influence in my life. I don’t want to be mothered by an Asian woman. I can’t stand it. I hate everything Asian women stand for. Every last quality of Asian women that white men fetishize about Asians, I despise. What you love about Asian women, I hate. They are the worst females on the planet. And all I would ask, is to have nothing to do with them. I refuse to accept the claim to membership in a race of prostitutes. I wish there wasn’t this race called Asian, that both I and Asian women belong to. I wish they were as foreign to me as Eskimo or Zulu women. The Asian race has ceased to exist. Clearly this is not because of a multicultural utopia. Clearly the white race exists when 70% of white women still have racial preferences, and exclude colored specifically Asian men. The White Race has not been dissolved. The Black race has not been dissolved. The Arab race has not been dissolved. But the Asian race has ceased to exist. There are simply men with black hair and slanty eyes, and women with black hair and slanty eyes. And while the social category called race continues to link them together, there is no actual link. The Eurasian male is the biological outcome of the extinction of the Asian race. Eurasian men are the next generation of Asian sons. If the Asian race is born out of the womb of Asian women. Than Eurasians have become the new Asian race. And this is where Eurasian men stand. All Eurasian men are in the same boat. There is not a single WMAF son who has never had these thoughts about his mom. Some might be able to suppress it and look the other way for a while. But hes lying if hes said, hes never thought it. You can’t build a massive relationship trend, on the foundation stones that WMAF has, and expect your half-asian sons to come out as healthy American males.

There is a Eurasian male crisis in America. My blog is just the tip of the iceberg. There is an epidemic of Hapa boys. Born of their own racial castration. They are humiliated, defeated, and full of range and anger. I’m actually a very moderate, calm, tame voice among Eurasian men. I’m much too forgiving and soft-spoken compared to the average Hapa man. Eurasian men are in Hell.

The year is 2015, but there is still a racial underclass in America. A subterranean race of subhumans. This race is called Hapa, Eurasian, Amerasian. Really all those terms are stolen, and there is no true proper term for these Mutants. Call them Monsters. For that is how Society has treated them. You have created a race of beasts, who will never feel or be human. They walk among you.

The Perks of being genetically doomed from birth

I have my share of regrets. Should I have done this or that? But at the end of the day, it isn’t worth speculating about the lives I could have lived. There aren’t many coulda beens for Eurasian men. If 95% of white women are going to reject me for being Half-Asian no matter what I do, its not like I had any chance of being so elite as to win the 5%. I think I have managed this horrible Hapa life as best I could. Perhaps I was in way over my head, seeking out hyper-masculine adventures to live out. But as delusional as those fantastic attempts might have been, I can’t hate the past me too much for having my head in the clouds. For here I’m on the brink of suicide, since I have failed to be a man. Since I live in a society that does not consider me to be a male. So why hate on any attempt to be a He-Man, no matter how impossible or fool-hardy?

The perk of being predestined to fail, is I don’t need to regret anything. And indeed its not like there is any one big mistake I made. It was just a long series of fails and rejections. No one ever liked me because I was Eurasian. I was always the odd man out. I clearly wasn’t white. And Asian men didn’t want to be friends with someone who embodied their racial humiliation. While I generally identify with the emasculation of Asian men on this blog out of self-interest. The fact is that I have no gotten along better with Asian men than white men. Most of my hatred has been directed at Asian women, not white women. But if anything my relations with white girls have been even worse. So with the people I like and the people I hate, I still have equally bad relations. I have alluded to some flirting I did with white girls, while I was off this blog. But its nothing really. I can’t say any of this girls liked me or were even being nice. They were being civil. They were not actively cursing me out as the Eurasian freak I’m. Thats the best I can hope for. I guess white girls have matured since puberty. When I was a boy, white girls did not have to be shy to let me know what a freak I was. It wasn’t racialized. But clearly I’m a Eurasian freak above all. And that is why I will never belong.

It is painful being Hapa. You are cutoff from all humans. And even your own parents who gave you birth don’t understand your predicament. Sadly a White Dad and Asian Mom are the least people on earth who can understand the pain of a Half-Asian man. I receive universal hatred. From white men and Asian women it is to be expected. But also from colored men and white women. I’m a real life Ogre. A monster from a freak show. I get treated like a subhuman mutant everywhere I go. When I read about Blacks in the 1950s, I don’t feel like its ancient history. I feel that this is how I’m treated as a Eurasian in 2015. Except I don’t have a racial community to fall back on. I’m entirely alone as a Eurasian. My only community is my White Dad and Asian Mom, and they will NEVER understand me. Truly life as a Eurasian is a tragedy. And if I have been deluded at times, it is because I did not want to subject myself to the torture that is Eurasian life. I’ve not always been as self-centered as this blog might make me seem. There were issues much larger to me than Hapa issues. But now they are so far away from me. It is hard for me to care about the pain of others, when the pain of Hapas means nothing to the world. We are the most oppressed, disenfranchised race in the history of the world. And we have to suffer it all alone. Our parents and our sisters do not stand with us. As the Hapa son of WMAF, we stand totally alone in a black abyss.

Someone has to be born Eurasian. There are a lot of WMAF couples around. And they produce WMAF sons. And some soul out there has to take on the role of Eurasian son. No one would ever choose to be a Eurasian male. But it is our WMAF parents who get to choose. They choose to WMAF, and we are born Hapa men without choice. And thats the story of how Hapa men are born. Someone has to be the worst, the lowest of the low. And so it might as well be me. If someone has to be Hapa, I guess I will do it.

I don’t think I can withstand being Eurasian much longer. But if I have made it this far, that is good enough. No human should be asked to take up the burden of being a Hapa man. WMAF are the last people on earth, who have the right to ask their sons to be Hapa. Truly we are accursed. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made this world a worse place by being Hapa. If WMAF sons didn’t exist, this could be a better world. I’m a blight on this world.

I’m sorry, sorry for being Eurasian. Sorry to myself more than anyone. For who has suffered more for being Eurasian than me? I hate the words Eurasian and Hapa. I’m sorry Euro and Asian was ever brought together. Brought together in my genes. There aren’t many phases of history in which White men had the chance to mix with East Asian women. But I was unlucky enough to be born during a WMAF explosion. And I’m the outcome of the WMAF wave. The WMAF son. I’m totally defined by the White male Asian female relationship. I’m a WMAF son above all. And the gender pairing does matter, as explored in my posts on the very different outcomes for AMWF sons. Perhaps in a way I’m jealous of AMWF sons. In the same way I didn’t get along with full-Asian men, I had a mighty conflict with an AMWF son and his white girlfriend. I guess I was just jealous. Jealous that we are both Eurasian, but I have to be the failed type of Eurasian.

I guess if I just hid in my room, never went online, never talked to my parents, never left the house, never looked in a mirror, maybe then I could forget I was a Eurasian man. Maybe when I’m dead and buried, the curse of being Eurasian will no longer torment my bones. Life is hell for Hapas. It is the worst fate any man can suffer. All humans consider me to be a mutant monster. I have never known a kind word from a human being. The human hand has only been raised but to strike me. This is the relationship between Hapas and the human race. I have never considered myself human. I’m Hapa not human. I’m nothing but subhuman scum. Genetic trash. I can feel myself deteriorating. There is no salvation for the Eurasian. I tried over these years to escape, to find some way out. I dreamed that somewhere out there, I could be treated like a human being. Not a great or magnificent human being. But just a regular person. But I can’t fool myself any longer. I will always be a Eurasian beast.

93.4% of White Women exclude Half-Asian men from their dating preferences

While the WMAF pairing is extremely popular for White men. No woman of any race will ever consider dating the sons that result from that pairing. 93.4% of white women, refuse to date Asian or Half-Asian men. This is from the Princeton study Gendered Racial Exclusion among White Internet Daters. It has also been confirmed by other internet dating studies as well as a Columbia speed dating study in person. It is almost poetic justice. I would call it Karma, if I were not myself a Hapa man suffering the consequences of it. WMAF couples are always putting the down the femininity of white women and the masculinity of Asian men. So isn’t it fitting that their own sons are considered Asian men by society, and rejected by all women.

Don’t I feel bad leeching off my parents? They worked hard to raise me, bring me up, give me my needs, put me through college. And this is how I repay them? Didn’t my Asian mom teach me any Confucian filial piety? Don’t I have great shame and loss of face in doing this to my family?

A commentator suggested that I should at least make some attempt to be self-reliant and not just be a parasite on my WMAF parents. They said I was just confirming stereotypes of Eurasian men, being lazy do-nothings. But Princeton has spoken. Princeton says that 93.4% of white women, will never consider dating me, no matter what I do.

I guess I can’t complain. White women don’t owe me anything. And the average white man and asian woman on the street don’t owe me anything. Only my own WMAF parents owe me anything. And I will milk them for all their worth. I advise all other Eurasian males do the same.

I don’t care about my personal choices any more. Oh she seemed to like me. That girl in Middle School called me cute. That beautiful white girl asked me out on a date. All lies and delusions. The fact is, its impossible for any white girl to find a Eurasian male attractive, and nothing I do can change that. I don’t regret anything I ever did. I’ve learned that none of my individual choices make a difference. We Eurasian men are doomed from birth. We are born from a WMAF
relationship, in which both the white dad and asian mom tell us our masculinity is worthless. White men and Asian women already consider Eurasian men to be less than men. But colored men and white women, who have no direct horse in this race, they also feel the same way. The circle is complete. White men hate me. Asian women hate me. And its quite clear that white women also hate me. According to Gendered Racial Exclusion among White Internet Daters it is “surprising” that liberal and very liberal white women, who we might expect to be more open-minded, multicultural, and color-blind have an even more strongly pronounced bias against Asian and Half Asian men. There you have it case closed.

I knew my whole life that white men and asian women hated me. And now I have objective, statistical proof that white women hate me too. I know that the entire outside world is united against me. I will just be collecting welfare reparations from my parents. I will never work a day in my life. I will be a man-child, till my short miserable life is mercifully concluded. These are my slavery reparations. And I’m not going to be a bleeding heart about other people’s problems, if no one in the world cares about Eurasian problems. I’m only going to write about Eurasian male problems. Let other people write about their own problems. Its clear that no one in the world has sympathy for Eurasians. I can’t exactly give foreign aid, when I’m myself in the constant state of racial civil war.

Since I was a young child I knew that Asian man was the worst thing to be. This is why I always showed off my white dad, and bragged about being Half-White. It was not to celebrate diversity and hybrid vigor. It was to say yeah I know Asians suck, but I’m not totally suck. I knew Asians were foreign and as far from America as you can get. I wasn’t quite so aware of all the social and sexual issues. But now that I’m, with a mountain of statistical proof, it makes sense that I have been ashamed of my part Asian heritage since elementary school.

There is no hope for Hapa men. And nothing I can do can change that. I never had a choice. My White Dad and Asian mom, made the choice for me. It is not by accident that I have a White dad and not an Asian dad. The US society has made it so easy for WMAF to happen and so hard for AMWF to happen. Statistically I had a much better chance of being born WMAF. And yet these deceitful WMAF apologists, will list all the successful AMWF sons, despite their huge numerical advantage, to try to convince me that Eurasian men can live good lives. I wasn’t born an AMWF son. Not by accident.

Eurasians have nothing to hope for in life. There is nothing to accomplish. The best thing they can do is nothing. They should all leech off their WMAF parents and take their slavery reparations. This entire society, including our own parents, is universally hostile to the Eurasian men. We are despised pariahs. We are treated like freaks by everyone, including the White Man and Asian woman who birthed us. We are the most unloved creatures in existence. Not only will those unrelated to us not love us, but our own parents are racial enemies to us.

I’m the son of a White man, born with slanty eyes. According to Mongoloid theories, this means that I’m a Mongoloid with Down Syndrome. This is the only possible reason a White man could have a slant-eyed son. His son must have inherited some of the Genghis Khan rape genes. Despite being a white man, he has a Mongoloid son. Since I’m a Down Syndrome retard, you can’t expect me to get a job, or be a functional adult male member of society. All I can do is live the life of a man-child. For I’m a Down Syndrome retard.

Keanu Reeves & Dean Cain Tanaka are NOT Eurasian

Keanu Reeves, Dean Cain, Brandon Lee. These are the holy trinity of Eurasian men that are supposed to shut me up. Keanu Reeves is Eurasian, that proves everything I say is wrong, case closed, checkmate. Now suppose Keanu was NOT Eurasian, would that mean everything I say is true? What would it mean if it is impossible to name a single case of a successful Eurasian son of a White Dad and Asian mom without cheating? Would that prove everything I claim is true? That every single WMAF son ends up like me?

Keanu Reeves is Quapa not Hapa. He is 3/4 White, 1/4 Asian. And one has to wonder, why does the whole web know about his 1/4 Asianess? He doesn’t look obviously Asian. And yet it is repeated ad nauseum that Keanu is the most famous Eurasian in the world. There is a big difference between 50% Asian and 25% Asian, just like there is a big difference between a candidate getting 50% or 25% of the vote. The white looks of a 25% Asian, have no relevance to a 50% Asian. Perhaps it should give me more desire to mate with a white woman, since she can give me a 75% white kid.

Dean Cain is even better. Not only is he 75% white, he is the son of two generations of AMWF. His whiteness comes entirely from mothers.

“Cain was born on July 31, 1966 as Dean George Tanaka in Mount Clemens, Michigan, the son of Sharon Thomas, an actress, and Roger Tanaka.[1] He is of French Canadian, Irish, Welsh, and Japanese (from his paternal grandfather) descent.”

And while we’re at it lets bring in Tommy Chong who like Brandon Lee is an AMWF Eurasian.

“Chong was born at University Hospital in Edmonton, Alberta, and given the name Thomas B. Kin Chong at birth.[2][3] His mother was Lorna Jean (née Gilchrist), a waitress of Scots-Irish and French ancestry,[4] and his father was Stanley Chong, a Chinese truck driver who immigrated to Canada from China in the 1920s. The senior Chong had first lived with an aunt in Vancouver after arriving in Canada.”

This is a form of child snatching, WMAF despite having so many advantages over AMWF has never produced a successful son on its own and so needs to steal the sons of AMWF, and claim them for their own. The hypocrisy is astounding. WMAF is always shaking their head at AMWF. Asking in disgust, what can a white woman possibly see in an Asian man? And yet they have no compulsion about stealing the names of AMWF sons, and claiming them for themselves.

Now that WMAF lies are exposed. We have to ask, why do they lie? The claims are very weird. They will say Michael Jackson is a successful Hapa man, now shut up. Or they will name some obscure C-list actor, but then it turns out that even the C-Lister is Kazakh or something. Its a deliberate misuse of the term. You found some Kazakh male model, and this is supposed to prove that the sons of Americans and Koreans can do well in life.

There is not a single example of a White Dad and East Asian Mom producing a successful son. And the very fact that WMAF liars have to falsify the records to give examples, proves it more than I ever could.

Every time a WMAF names a son, who turns out not to be WMAF, they are saying to us, “I couldn’t find any real WMAF sons, so I had to make them up.” This is a powerful message. And it gets to the heart of this blog. What is the reason that WMAF has never produced a successful son?

You’d have to read the rest of my blog to find out. But on paper WMAF should have successful sons. They have ‘hybrid vigor’. WMAF is the 2nd highest earning income couple behind AMWF. They are often in entertainment, finance, computers, technology. The son has a white family connection and white last name. The WMAF son on paper should have many advantages over the AMWF son. So why is it that all the Eurasian successes are AMWF sons? Why is it that WMAF has to babysnatch sons from AMWF?

Here is a challenge to my readers. Name one male son of a Caucasian Father and East Asian Mother of Korean, Japanese, Chinese descent, who has lived a successful life in the West. There are millions of WMAF marriages since the 1940s. It shouldn’t be that hard to name just one son who was successful in life. Step two of my challenge. If you can’t find a single successful Hapa male without cheating, ask yourself why this is?

the fates of Hapa sons enslaved by Nazi WMAFs

It is a strange life that we Eurasian men live, and I don’t think there are any parallel groups in America. Whites and Latinos outmarry at equal rates. Blacks have an inequality, but it is colored men with white women. There is no reason for Barack Obama or Halle Berry to feel inferior because their white mom’s married a Black man. BMWF is much rarer. But generally the liberal white guys who marry black women, identify with the causes of their biracial sons. WMAF is the only modern relationship in which you have brute colonial domination of a white man over a colored woman.They are a throwback to a barbaric past. But the deviously use the language of modern PC rights and multiculturalism to justify their cruelty. Its no different than White Nationalists claiming they are for civil rights and diversity- human biodiversity. And so WMAF will compare themselves to BMWF, or say Asiaphilia is no different than being born Gay. I can also steal this language if I want. I can say if it is no longer considered a mental illness to be Transexual, to want to be another gender, to not feel at home with one’s sex. Why is it wrong for a Eurasian to feel the same way about his race? There was just a Transexual who threw herself in front of a truck, and her public suicide made national news.

I returned to this blog around Thanksgiving. And theres not much I can feel thankful for. But I guess, I’m always holding my parents to the standards of every last WMAF nasty comment on the internet. I hold my parents personally responsible for every ugly word said by a WMAF. And I don’t think real life WMAFs are so PC, so I’m not willing to dismiss all the nastiness as trolling. Thats too easy. Someone had to take the time to write all those comments, without even knowing I would ever even read it. But in some sense it doesn’t really personally affect me at all. In a general sense it adds to the emasculation of half-asian men. It contributes to a culture of Asian castration, that leads to my universal rejection. But its not like I’m their son. That will be the problem of the Hapa boy born to that couple, and we will see how he handles it. Perhaps he will identify with the rightwing, white nationalist, anti-feminist views of his father, and instead of hating him, become a Eurasian Nazi himself. He might be a sad figure, who despite looking Asian, imagines he is far superior to Asians. Or he might indeed hate his parents. But they might be so sadistic and abusive, that they just throw him out of the house onto the street, if he stands up to their tyranny.

My parents aren’t perfect, either in being PC or in parenting. And they might eventually throw me onto the streets. But at least I’ve managed to leech off them, a good couple of years since adulthood. And as much as I hate them for every WMAF slur, they are not the online WMAFs. They are not perfect, and sometimes they slip up, and they’re not going to be 100% open to me. But I don’t believe that they have the views of the WMAF quotes I find online. And thats something to be grateful for. If you had one of these Nazi WMAF parents, you wouldn’t even be able to blackmail them. They would be totally indifferent to the pain of a colored boy, even if he was their own scum. It would be not a child-parent relationship but Tyrant-Slave. Those Eurasian sons have it even worse than me. And time will tell, what they do with their own situation. If it was my tragic destiny to be born Eurasian, the vast majority of WMAF parents are much, much, worse than my parents. And so if it was my cruel cosmic fate and destiny to be born a Eurasian male, I guess I can be grateful I was not born to one of those uglier hate-filled WMAF couples. I’m still affected by them in a social sense. But at least I don’t have to call them mom and dad.

It still gets to me, and I take it very personally. But maybe I shouldn’t. Its not like every WMAF couple in the world is my parents. And maybe they will have a miserable Eurasian son. It will be his cross to carry. If anything he will be in an even better position than me, to publicly expose the evils of WMAF. He will owe his hateful parents absolutely nothing. So the fates of Hapa sons enslaved by Nazi WMAFs, is in their hands. Once they figure out, what their WMAF parents really think of them, its up to them to take the next step. I just have to remind myself that I’m not them. And none of this is new. I said back in 2011, my parents were much better than the average WMAF, but I still hated them based on the nature of the WMAF relation.

I’m not the son of all WMAFs online. And I don’t have any personal connections to them. I can’t take every random comment on every corner of the internet so personally. Some Eurasian sons might have parents like that. But its in their hands to publicly expose their parents. And I focus on the hatred that white man and asian women have for me. But its not like colored men and white women have any love for me. And sure you can say that they are just brainwashed by WMAF. But this is America right? We have to say personal choice and responsibility and not just culture and society. These colored men and white women also as individuals make the choice to hate and despise me. WMAF might have created the culture of hatred, but each individual person makes the choice to hate me.

Man is a tribal animal. And the hapa has no tribe.

Lets accept 2 facts. WMAF is a very ugly relationship. And WMAF sons are the worst people you can be in 2015 America. Given those facts, is life worth living for the WMAF son? Can he rise above his origins, genes, upbringing, and universal hatred, to make something of his life.

No, I don’t believe he can. There can be no Hollywood happy ending to a Eurasian life. And even when Hollywood did make a movie about a suicidal Hapa, it did not have a happy ending. We can’t rise above our births. The internet is right. The real world, isn’t going to save me this time. People really do hate Eurasian men. Why bother to try? I was debating back and forth with myself for a while, whether I should get back out there. I tried to tell myself maybe it isn’t so bad. Maybe real life people don’t care if I’m Eurasian. But thats not the truth. People do care. And I will always be rejected for love and friendship because of my race. The very existence of WMAF is premised on the castration of Asian men. I exist because Asian men don’t. What hope can there be for me? All I have to do, is remind myself that I have seen 100 WMAFs for every 1 AMWF, and I can sit down and never get up ever again. Why bother to try?

I’m not going to live this Eurasian life. Where do I go from here? I’ve said all I can say about Eurasian issues in 2011. IDK if I’ve added much in 2014. This is just me cannabalizing myself. Its clear that no one is going to be rescuing Eurasian men from this crisis. I don’t care anymore. In 2011 I was still full of hope. I thought somehow everything might work out in the end. I was still coming off the Heisman high, of seeing that life in 2011 wasn’t so horrific if you are a universal man. Perhaps history would work its way out. But I see now, that whatever good you might point to in the world, you can’t possible say the life of a Eurasian man is good. I’m not being tortured. I’m not homeless and starving, courtesy of my parents. I guess if you took out all the social aspects of life. The interactions with men and women. Life as a Eurasian in 1st world America, wouldn’t have to be that terrible. But the moment a Eurasian man talks to a White Man, White Woman, Asian woman, his life becomes hellish. How can I interact with those groups of people, when they are so full of disgust towards me?

There is no hope for me, and no escape. IDK I’m just one person. There are a lot of WMAF and half of them have sons. So we will see how the rising generation of Eurasians reacts to this crisis. I’m out. We’ll see how other Eurasians feel. Whether my arguments resonate with them or not. If they are unhappy with their lives, hopefully they will quickly rediscover the Eurasian condition as I have, and understand the true source of their misery. Other people besides me have made similar arguments, before 2011. I don’t think they need me, to discover these obvious truths.

Will life ever get better for Eurasian men? I don’t see how they can. I don’t see how generations of racial humiliation can be just wiped away. A whole world order, turned upside down. Hapa men will always be miserable, and there is nothing they can do to change it. We just don’t belong on this planet. We will never be able to make a human connection. We will always be cutoff from this most tribal species. Man is a tribal animal. And the hapa has no tribe. I wish I could just stop being me.

My parents don’t like it when they question their freedom of choice. Am I some kind of Nazi Dictator that wants to ban miscegenation? Do I want to take away people’s mating choice? Crush their freedom? This is the Tyrant that my parents think I’m. They have their freedom and they made their choice. I didn’t stop them. But choices have consequences. I didn’t prohibit their choice, but now they have to live with the consequences. They wanted to have a half-Asian son with WMAF parents in America. And they thought a WMAF son, would be just fine being an Asian man, with a white dad and asian mom. It shocks them that a WMAF son would be unhappy with his life. I have defended my parents at times on this blog, and said they’re not that bad. But to this day, they have never acknowledged that there is anything wrong with being an Asian man in America. They are essentially saying that being an Asian man is identical to being a white man in America. The level of ignorance to believe that is astounding. Perhaps they could be excused for their negligence back when they birthed me. It would be too much, to expect even a non-racist WMAF couple to pay much attention to the problems of Asian men. And the WMAF to AMWF gap wasn’t as big when I was born, as it is now, according to Pew polls. But to say that Asian men are doing fine in America, when they live with a Half-Asian son, who tells them all the facts of this blog. That is willful blindness. And there can never be any dialogue between us if they make the free choice to believe lies. IF they want to believe that Asian men are white men, then of course the rantings of their half-asian son will come across as the rantings of a madman. I must be insane and a liar to claim what I do about Asian men.

According to my white dad, race doesn’t exist at all for Asians. Apparently there is absolutely no difference, between being a white man and an asian man. He didn’t think the Wesley Yang article was a big deal. I can’t talk to my parents, if race doesn’t exist for them. Certainly exists for Blacks. They know blacks aren’t white people. But maybe my Asian mom feels that she is no different than a white woman. White women can marry white men, and Asian women can marry white men. Therefore whites and asians are the same.

They aren’t going to get me to embrace the life of a Eurasian man, with that attitude. I’m not going to someday slap my forehead and realize that race doesn’t exist, and go out and be a functional Eurasian adult. You don’t even have to accept the biology of race. Even if race is totally socially constructed, the social facts of being a Eurasian man, make that life unlivable. Even if there is nothing genetically wrong with being Eurasian, it is not a social life worth living. I don’t see me living a very long life. I’m surprised I made it all the way to 2015. I feel very old. I feel like I have lived, much, much, longer than I should have. What have these extra years brought me? Every year I live is more misery. If I had died 10 years ago, I would have been happier, if never born, happier still.

Live. For what reasons? What can I possibly hope for? I will never get along with anyone. Not with Whites or coloreds, men or women. Everyone will always hate me forever and ever. Because I’m a Hapa man. I was born of my own destruction.

Do I look back in my 2011 writings and think I was stupid? Yes. Stupidly optimistic. Life for Hapas is much worth than I predicted in 2011. And its just going to keep getting worse.

Look at yourself. Who are your friends? Sociology predicts they will primarily be people of your own race. Who is your mate? Sociology predicts she will be of your same race. All your friends are of your own race. And yet you have the nerve to tell the Hapa he has no problems. That is easy for you to say when you are white and have all white friends, Asian and have all Asian friends. So easy for you with your pure-race privilege to tell hapas to toughen up. Are you friends with a rainbow? Are you a multicultural after school special? Who here has close black, latino, arab, asian friends in their circle? Are you really color blind? If the majority of your friends, are of your race, you have no right to say anything to a Hapa. A Hapa is always going to be isolated and alone. No White or Asian would ever want to be friends with a Hapa man. A Hapa is a monster. A tragedy. And you just don’t get it. A Hapa will never belong anywhere. He is an alien freak from a wrong planet.

Hapa Masculinity

Since I’m back blogging again, there is no point in running away from these Eurasian issues. If I’m here, I might as well argue myself to the end. I’m not sure if there is anything to be gained in
cannabalizing myself in front of a hostile audience. But if other Eurasians will find my journey useful, then its not for nothing. It will soon be 2015, and half a decade since I made my best attempt to integrate into American culture. In 2010 I was debating with myself the pros and cons of life in this world. I was speaking about universal issues in the spirit of Mitchel Heisman, rather than the particularity of SEML. Like him I was wrestling with the issues of living in a world so dominated by the vision of sociobiology. How to live in a world, which is nothing but a brutal struggle of genes? This is a struggle that any human could contemplate, not just a Hapa male. Although there is less reason to question it, when you are on top. Since Hapa men are on the absolute bottom of the social pyramid, its no wonder that many of us have obsessed over the sociobiology of human sexual behavior.

In 2010, I was able to comfort myself, with the idea that life was so much better for humans, than it has ever been. And that while it might not be perfect, perhaps I was selling it to short. I have similarly tried to debate myself with these points on SEML. But they strike me as more hollow now. Its hard to be cheered up by the GDP growth in Asia, if my life as a Eurasian male still sucks. The fact remains, that Asian-American males still have to endure lives, as the least desired, most humiliated, degraded, castrated race in America. While I might look out and say that ‘man’ in general is doing well in 2015. This is not how I feel about the Asian-American male. Now look, maybe most Asian-American males are happy with their lives. Yeah, WMAF is an issue, but most find an Asian wife to marry in the end. They live decent middle class lives. And they have their kids cram for the SAT so they can move up in this world. But if you are a Eurasian man, with WMAF parents, this ‘good’ Asian male, life will not appeal to you at all. You will naturally be repulsed by Asian women, since you will see your WMAF mom in them. You will want to marry a white american girl and be normal. This will forever be denied to you. And when you look at the life of the average Asian-American male, you will see that it is just as impossible for him as it is for you.

A Eurasian male looks Asian. And when he looks at the chances of a normal Asian-American man getting a white wife, it is well nigh impossible. Now sure there are some who do it. But the fact that a tiny elite of Asian men can somehow be with white woman, is no inspiration to below average Eurasian men. And if Asian men are attractive to a small minority of white women, its not clear that will be attracted to Hapa men for the same reasons. Thus the situation appears totally hopeless to the Eurasian. The GDP per capita of Asia, does nothing for his happiness.

Race is still such a big part of America. These are the voluntary associations that people choose. But people are more comfortable with those of their same ethnicity, nationality, race, religion. And a Eurasian male just can’t fit into that. Not with whites or Asians. And outside TV specials, truly color-blind multicultural circles of friends are pretty rare. And that is the only possible circle, that a Eurasian male can rely on for basic human contact and friendship. It is a sad life we Hapas are faced with. Not just in sexuality, but in basic human relations. Humans are social animals. And Hapa men are unable to fulfill our human nature. We are denied our human essence, and do fall to the status of some kinda subhuman mutant.

I just don’t see the profit, in ever trying anything again in either Asia or America. I toyed with the idea of going to Asia. But its clear to me that I would be just as much a stranger there as I’m here. And I’ve never had any desire to break my neck learning an Asian language, when I wont even get any credit for it, when I look Asian. Nor am I exactly inspired or passionate about my mom’s country. If it was something I really believed in, I could climb any mountains for it. But if white expats are so comfortable in Asia, then I know that I as a Eurasian wont be.

Stuck in America, what kind of life can I hope for? Since I’m Half-Asian, I will be treated as full-Asian. The life of the average or above average Asian-American man, is of no inspiration to me and I have no desire to aspire to his level.

When I ran my generic blog, I could ask myself, is the life of the average American man, really that bad, that you need to be angsting out about? I could shame myself into admitting that life in America was not so hellish as I made it out to be.

I really don’t feel that way when the question is changed for Asian-American men. Do I want his life? No. Its not a goal for me. The normal Asian man, does not seem any more able to be loved by a white woman, than I’m. If thats the case I prefer to sit on my hands and leech off my WMAF parents. They brought me into this situation. Perhaps they could be excused for their ignorance in conceiving me, and not thinking of Asian male problems. But now that I’m an adult, and have made very clear to them, how I feel as a half-Asian man, ignorance is no longer an excuse. They choose to be willfully blind to the racial situation in America. In that case, they deserve a useless, worthless son.

Do I want to try again? Whats the point? I’m always going to be surrounded by people who despise me. Even if a white girl smiles at me, and I think in my stupid brain that shes flirting with me, we know it can never go anywhere. If its so impossible for the average Asian man, what chance does a below average Eurasian man stand? None! So theres no point in ever trying anything.

Which is not to say I never tried. I made a determined effort over the last few years. And I spoke to hundreds of white girls. I didn’t just sit on my hands. I made every effort to reach out. And I tried every approach that has been here suggested to me. I don’t want to say it was all failure. I had some moments that meant a lot to me personally. But at the end of the day, I’d have to say that no progress was made. And I saw the limits to any possibility of me integrating into American culture. Even with good faith and my best efforts, America would just not choose to have me. And so it petered out of its own accord. Although my parents could have given me more time to experiment and find myself in America, I don’t deny that it met its own internal limits. And I don’t blame them totally for the failure. If I did, then all I would need is a 2nd chance. But I don’t think I need a 2nd chance. I think my life story, already shows the best I can do with this Eurasian life in America. The average Asian male finds it impossible to get a white girlfriend. And I don’t believe I can do better than him. And so with no incentive to work, I prefer to leech off my WMAF parents as long as possible, until I meet my end. Its a short, sad life. But I’ll try to ignore as much of it as I can.

Hapa males are the most cutoff from the human race, of any children who have ever been born.

Whats the point of trying? I’m tired and worn out. And I’ve had more than enough of life. Still if I’m going to die, I’d rather die from real people and not internet trolls. Yeah, but I tried that game before. The thing is real people don’t actually solve any of my problems. Yeah I was happy with some of my moments in 2011. But they don’t really mean anything. I stopped reading all these angry PUA blogs. And for a while things were peaceful with the people I was seeing face to face. There wan’t this cruel, eternal struggle between sexes and races. We were just kids laughing. And I didn’t have to take all the evils of the world on my back.

But alas all good things must come to an end. Partially it was my parents fault. They are ready to promise me the world, when I shut down, but then I’m perky again, and things seem to be going well. And they get the delusion in their head, that I’m basically a normal guy, with a few quirks, and I can be a normal functional member of society, if they just push me a little. It turns out, I’m actually a house of cards. They push, I come tumbling down. And then they’re so shocked. I told my dad, that the best thing I can do to integrate, is to learn to embrace and accept American culture. What might look like childish fooling around to him, was my best chance of having a normal career. If I could learn to accept and embrace the values of White America, then I could work and enslave myself to her. But then I come full circle. By pretending to be a normal white american, it just becomes more blatant that I’m not one. And so partially there was a natural decline. My surrender to White America could only go so far. And it takes two to surrender. America has no use for me, even as a slave.

And so I had a beautiful letter, from a beautiful white girl, who had even kissed me. And I could have died with the letter in my hand, like a Young Werther. And it could have been a noble, romantic suicide. Not touched by the ugliness of SEML. But thats the problem. If the suicide is too beautiful and happy, its hard to go through with it. Thats not rock bottom. Thats not the true abandonment of all hope. Since there is still contingency. If not for a little misunderstanding, maybe we could have had that lunch date, she asked me out on. If it was really so close to happening, it seems silly to die over it. We can try again. There is beauty and good in this world. Maybe I’m not so bad, if she thinks that of me.

In 2014 I’m at rock bottom. There is absolutely no good in the world. No one will ever like me. Eurasians are ogres. Death would be a sweet release. There is no miracle to even hope for. Now I’m debating with myself, whether I should elevate myself, before my death. Whether I want to die with all this shallow ugliness. But its a lot easier to die in dirty ugliness than sublime beauty. When things are too beautiful, its harder to die. But its not like any actual problems are solved. So I have a little fun, but it has its natural limits, it can never actually go anywhere. And so the aura fades. The delusions of grandeur deflate. And I’m back where I started. But I’ve just wasted more time, and am lower than ever. And then I have to work my way up towards suicide all over again.

That would be the best case scenario here. A repeat of 2011. So I have my fun, flirt with some white girls. Always so near but so far. Just one little more push, and I can be a normal guy. But its always just out of reach. Then time runs out. I’m not bitter about it. I had my fun. I might even call these the best times of my life. And shake my head at what I wrote, and almost be glad that I lived to see this. That I could have had such happy moments after my suicide. And yet let me be clear here. Even in my best of moments, there was never an instant in which I could say like Faust “stay moment, thou art so fair.”

I didn’t commit suicide. and I could redeem that decision, and perhaps even my birth. If there could just be a single moment of time, I could be grateful for. I suppose my parents are the Mephistopheles to my Faust. They can have my soul, and justify my birth, if they can make me utter those words. “Stay moment thou art so fair”. And yet I never have.

When discussing suicide with my dad, he says “you’ve been happy sometimes”. He thinks hes seen me happy. But he never has. Hope. Hope has been my only joy. But hope is really a form of hatred of life. It is a hatred of life in the here and now. By hoping for a better future, you are casting judgment on the now. My hope was based on my hatred of now.

And so since I’ve been suicidal, and delayed. There has not been a single moment, in which I say, I’m glad I lived to see this. I’m grateful to past me, for not dying. It would have been foolish to have died and missed this. Its been quite a few years now. And not in a single moment of that time can I say I was happy to be alive. And we can extend it much further back to my very birth. There has never been an instant of time, I was happy to live with. IF a man like me shouldn’t suicide, you are saying that suicide is absolutely and always wrong for all people in all places. Men have committed suicide for much less reasons than me. I must be one of the most unhappy people in history. And you can point to people with objectively worse lives than me. People who had horrible things done to them, that I haven’t suffered. But their tragedy, comes from having once lived normal lives, and then being reduced to such horror. Even people in poverty, find love and mates, and have children. Only a tiny number of ogres, have ever experienced the universal rejection from humanity like I have. So you can point to the economic status of Eurasians, and say they usually come from middle class backgrounds. But people in poverty, they have their clan, kin, family, loved ones. They have their ethnic group. They will never suffer as atomistic individuals repelled from all other humans. This is something only the Eurasian male will know. We are the most accursed humans to ever exist. But our numbers are still rather small, and so its easy to ignore us. Perhaps it wont be so easy when the Hapa population doubling of 2000-2010, begins hitting puberty. I can’t say Hapas have endured the most physical pain. But I can say that Hapa males are the most cutoff from the human race, of any children who have ever been born. There are some psychological problems that just come with being mixed-race in general. But to be a half-Asian male born of WMAF, the psych problems just escalate exponentially.

I don’t know WTF I want to accomplish. If I try again, I will just fail again. Even if I’m happy for a while. It’ll still end with my back on this blog, whining and ranting, within a year. There is no solution to being Hapa. I can’t just change my race. Am I mentally ill for feeling about my race, the same way a transsexual does about her gender? Are all transsexuals mentally ill? You can’t say that either males or females, endure the same hatred based on sex, as Hapas do based on race. And yet they change their sex. Its 1000 times worse to be a Hapa man, than to be a white man or white woman. And yet they change themselves. So wouldn’t it be natural for a Hapa man to want to change his race? After all he never got to choose it. His parents chose it in WMAF. WMAF by its very nature just degrades half-asian men.

Dying doesn’t always have to be over something great and noble. It can be over something stupid. I admire that 13 year old girl, who got mean comments on Myspace, and just ran upstairs and hung herself. She had courage that I will never have. She shames me. She wanted to die and she did. IDK if her reasons were right or justified. But she felt they were at the time. She knew she wanted death, and she did it. I on the other hand have tormented myself for years. With all these
philosophical studies on the true nature of human existence. And I haven’t accomplished what she did. I might have had great reasons and she stupid teenager reasons. But she died of her stupid teen reasons, while I live with my great meaningful reasons. She died over mean myspace comments. It didn’t have to be noble or grand. She realized the sweet bliss of non-existence. Of eternal, dreamless, sleep. That is all I could ever ask for. And she has it and I don’t. Because she is brave and I’m a coward. She is determined and skillful. She wanted death, and she delivered it to herself quickly. While I who have dreamed about death for a decade, am so far away from it. She is superior to me in every way possible. This is why I said, I deserve to be a slave if I can’t suicide. Clearly I’m not functional enough to be a free man. Any slave who doesn’t commit suicide, is a slave by nature as Aristotle said.

And who says the pure, noble, rational reasons for suicide are the best ones? That would be something like Mitchel Heisman’s
philosophical suicide note. But our shallow society can’t understand his pathos. I think a Eurasian man dying from having WMAF parents, appeals more to our obsessions with race and sex. To society, a Eurasian suicide is the more interesting one. One doesn’t have to be spiteful or vengeful in suicide like Ashley Riggitano to make a point. Ashley Riggitano left her purse at her public suicide site, with a list of people banned from her funeral. The newspapers, of course cover all public suicides, especially of a beautiful young fashionista, and they published the full list of her enemies. Ashley got revenge on them with her death. One should be at peace at death, and not have any more enemies. There is no need to hate the people of this world, when you are escaping it anyway. For all I know, solipsism is true, and the world will end with my ego. I have never experienced existence outside my consciousness, so what do I know? If the universe ends with me, all this Eurasian crap, will be petty nonsense. But I do feel I should honestly and truthfully explain the hellishness of Eurasian life. People should know that this is how Hapa men feel.

I’m sorry there is so much evil in the world. Much of which has nothing to do with WMAF. But if the root of evil, is sadistic domination based on race and sex. Then clearly WMAF is a major symptom of the world’s evils. A relationship openly based on these evil ideas of submission. In that sense, I can say that WMAF symbolizes many of the evils of this world, and I embody them. And so in discarding my WMAF genes, I’m rejecting the symbolism of racial and sexual sadism. I’m saying that I incarnate many of the ideals of evil. And I can’t live with this burden.

Eurasians are not an increase in racial diversity, but a loss of diversity

Maybe it would be best not to come back to these Eurasian issues. But since I did, I might as well argue this crap out with myself. And anyway, if my life is truly unlivable, I might as well look the racial aspect of it, straight in the face. In 2010, having retreated from suicide, I gave life another chance. I did my best to integrate into white society. I wrote the ideas of SEML, during summer of 2011. The midpoint of my advance. And while there are many negative thoughts here, it didn’t prevent me from going onto 2012. I don’t know what the point of writing this blog is. Its mostly an unsympathetic audience of white nationalist men. They are the ones most interested in these HBD issues. Most of the rest of society, prefers to simply look the other way at the failures of race-mixing. Now the failure of WMAF doesn’t have to be explained in White Nationalist terms. It can even be seen as a failure of white nationalism, since so many of the WM in WMAF, are rightwing white males. But since multiculturalism pretends that all race-mixing is innocent and pure, the only ones who control this topic are ‘race realists’. And I don’t know if any useful dialogue can come from HBD types.

When HBD says they want to preserve human biodiversity, they are actually using the term diversity in the opposite sense it usually means. When Multiculturals talks about diversity, they mean bringing races together. While HBD means that the genetic diversity of the white race, should not be lost by merging into the goop of some rainbow, grey, mud race. In that sense Eurasians are not an increase in racial diversity, but a loss of diversity. The unique traits that make the white and asian races desirable, are lost in some haphazard blend. And it is a far from equal blend. Since the Mongoloid features clearly predominate. The white dad, might as well have never existed. As far as phenotype, most Hapa men might as well have had an Asian dad. Instead of blue-green eyes and blonde-red hair you have universal boring slanty brown eyes and black hair. There is nothing less exotic than an Asian or Eurasian. They are the least individualistic race in the world. Exotic is the last word I would use on Asians.

People hate their parents, for all sorts of reasons besides race. And they all have to have their parents DNA in them. So should they all hate themselves? Its not really the same thing though. In that people see the WMAF in me, in a way that I don’t think the flaws of the parents are seen in same-race people.

idk, I guess I could try getting back out there. Forget love and dating. Maybe if I could just make some human connections with male friends in person, I wouldn’t have to feel the universal hostility of the world against me, that I currently do. I don’t think all this Hapa research is healthy for me. And yet I can’t just wish these facts away. You are really witnessing the disintegration of my mind. A man falling apart. idk if I want to see real people anymore. I tried my best, in the years I had. And now I expect nothing from them. Its certain I can’t be rescued from this predicament. People are just going to go on hating Hapas, without even thinking about it. Theres no hope for me. I wouldn’t even know WTF to hope for. No one is ever going to give me a chance.

It was my WMAF parents decision not mine. They choose to race-mix, without thinking out all the consequences. They weren’t exactly some heroic BMWF couple standing up to the KKK. There are virtually no social pressures against WMAF. With all the supposed Asian xenophobia and racism, Asians are definitely by far, the most chill race in letting their daughters intermarry. And whites are very cool with Asian mixing, so long as its not AMWF. So I don’t exactly see my parents as anti-racist heroes. They aren’t as bad as the WMAF White Nationalists online. But they didn’t think. They thought it would be so easy having a Eurasian son. They bought all the lies, about the best of both worlds. And to this day, they refuse to acknowledge that anti-Asian male racism is a thing. Even though, it’ll be the death of me. It was their choice not mine. And I can’t go on living their WMAF choice for them.

Its not white women’s fault, my parents choose to WMAF, so I can’t blame them for rejecting me. White girls were so mean to me in elementary school. They teased, mocked and bullied me. Then in Middle School, it was a less aggressive, more subtle form of cruelty. They pretended to like me. Making a big show of how cute I was, and how they loved me. But then they invited everyone to their parties but me. And as a tween, I already identified this with race. I wrote in my diary, that I was left out for being non-white, even though as a Eurasian I’m white. Me SEML, I’m white.

idk, maybe I do have a chip on my shoulder about race. In elementary school, while I was being bullied, the coolest kid was Korean. And I didn’t exactly cheer on Asian boys who did well. I more just felt jealousy towards them. In high school I had some big fights with an AMWF Hapa jock, and yeah maybe I was jealous of his white girlfriend. And there was a full-Asian athlete with a white girlfriend. I also joined the Football team in high school, to be masculine. But I was just there to be a team retard. The captain of the cheerleader team, would even act all flirty with me, just to degrade me as a Eurasian ogre freak. I had to play nice with her. The AMWF Hapa told me that I would get so much pussy if I won homecoming king. But I knew, I was just nominated as a joke. I had learned the hard lesson in middle school, that whenever a white girl acted like she liked me, she was just making fun of me. These were still the same girls. Also when my white dad, came to one of our games, the AMWF Hapa told me that my dad loved me. I got into a fight with him, and fought him to a draw. Although I guess he could have kicked my ass, if he was really trying.

idk, maybe I did have too much of a chip on my shoulder. Maybe I took myself too seriously. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so offended by a little white elementary school girl, giving me cooties or imitating my voice. Shes just a little girl. But they were so mean to me.

It doesn’t matter. I complain about how they pretended to like me in my teen years, but were just making fun of me. But even worse than that, was to be ignored, like I was in college. And so I had to come crawling back. Begging them for the old middle school treatment. And since I was persistent and freakish enough, they obliged. These women in their 20s gave me the same fake-flirting teasing treatment, like they had when they were little middle school girls. It was a taste of my youth again. And I treasured it. And these are the fine moments with the blonde girls I refer to. They laughed at me, not with me. But we can’t be so sensitive as to care about that distinction. If I’m just a freak show to them, so be it. I can’t complain about the treatment girls gave me K-12. Because in college, having been given the cold shoulder, I had to beg them to restore that treatment. And if I try again, it’ll only be for more of that.

When I moved to a new school in JRHS, I went from being an outcast, to having beautiful popular white girls suddenly literally chasing me around the school. Telling me how cute I was and they loved me. I remember this one girl was so annoyed by me at 1st. She hated me. But once she saw all the cool girls were chasing me, suddenly she became my biggest lover. I wasn’t as retarded as I pretended to be. And when kids told me how she loved me, I remembered how she had jumped ship. As she would do again, when I was on the decline. But actually I was pretty socially retarded. And it was noticeable even then that they were just making fun of me. Part of me knew that, but part of me just wanted to pretend this was all real. JRHS was not as much of the sea-change as I had thought. Its true I put on a much more extroverted personality. But if negative attention is all that counts, I had cute little white girls teasing me all the way back in the 1st grade. This was just a more sophisticated version of JRHS teasing. And my recent relations with women have also been the same thing.

I was so angry and hurt at the time in middle school. And I did attribute it to being Eurasian. To the fact, that despite having a white dad, I was a foreign Asian to my peers. Even in elementary school, I made a point to show off my white dad and my Hapaness, so they knew I was more than just a full-Asian, since full-Asian was the worst thing to be. But I saw with my own eyes in K-12, full-Asian guys be cool, be jocks, date beautiful white girls. And yet for me full-Asian was what I was running from. Despite the fact, that I as a Eurasian, was doing socially worse than some full-Asians. I can’t say the AMWF to WMAF ratio was so bad in high school. And yet I was already miserable about being Eurasian then.

Whats the point of trying again? Who needs white girls to talk to me? Oh they talked to me K-12 plenty. But it was just to make fun of me and tease me. And during my fine moments in 2011, it was just a mature version of the same flirty teasing. They were just laughing, at what a freak I was. This time, invited by me to do so. Any positive response from a white woman, her seeming to like me, is really just her making fun of me. Its all I can hope for as a Eurasian. These are most positive interactions. As a boy, I found it cruel betrayal and hurtful. As a man, I call it my most sweet, beautiful moments. But it will always be the same. While now I can appreciate the musical laugh of a white woman, it will still be the same cruel mocking of my boyhood. My fine moments with coeds, is no different from the little white girls laughing at me in 1st grade. Teasing me, and making fun of me as a freak. If I had not been so sensitive and think-skinned, I could have embraced my role as a freak in 1st grade. That is where I’m now.

If you are born of a white dad and asian mom, you will always be miserable

Over the last few weeks I’ve been toying with some escapes from being Eurasian. Ways in which I can endure life as a human being, and just forget my ethnic origins. But I see now that this is totally impossible. I’m totally defined by being Hapa, and this is something I have realized since earliest childhood. And despite my repeated attempts to close my eyes to it and find some escape hatch, I’m stuck being who I’m. Its clear that I will never be able to integrate into either Asian or Western culture. And this is not by accident. This is what it means to be Hapa to the core. To be raceless and homeless belonging no where.

My parents have killed me. I have tried to be fair to them on this blog. Despite the fact that this blog is about attacking WMAF marriages, I’ve done my best to explain the ways in which they are not the worst WMAF in the world. I’ve said many times, that they are not stereotypical WMAFs. If WMAF had not become so dominated by the bad apples, perhaps there would have been nothing wrong with my parents. Nonetheless the social reality is what it is. WMAF means what it means. And while they might not have been malicious in their decisions, they were ignorant and negligent. And they thought nothing of what it would mean to be a Hapa male in America. Ok whats done is done. I’m born and I exist. Ideally I should be kept in social isolation from the rest of humanity. If all interactions with a human race that hates me are going to be painful to me. The humane thing to do, if I’m to live, would be to keep me in solitary confinement. My parents by being a WMAF have helped create a hellish world for Hapa men. And they expect me to live in it. this is an impossibility. And I would say that this is a death sentence upon me.

Its obvious that WMAF has come to rely on the most primitive barbaric tropes of killing the enemy man and raping the enemy woman. This is what the WMAF relationship is all about. And we Eurasians exist in 2014. Its not 1514. We are not going to humbly submit and be your new Mestizo class. I don’t know what the future is for the Eurasian race as a whole. But I know for me, I can’t be a part of this obscene project. I reject my Eurasian identity. I reject what I was born of. And I discard this Eurasian life with hatred.

I have thought long and hard, about trying again. About getting back into American culture or trying Asian culture. But I see now there is no escape from being Eurasian. My Hapaness will chase me to the ends of this world. White people are not going to save me. Asian people are not going to save me. I’m not going to save me. The year is 2014 not 2010. We have seen the results of my attempt to integrate into American society. Despite my best efforts, I would say it is just as impossible now as it has always been. I’m forever going to be nothing but a Eurasian. If i were to die, I could at least die happy, knowing I’m dissolving WMAF genes, which I hate so much. To die would mean to split apart the DNA in my cells. this would be no tragedy for me.

I see that there is no possibility of happiness for Hapa men in this world. If you are born of a white dad and asian mom, you will always be miserable. You can bury your head in the sand, and pretend to be happy for a while. But you will never escape your curse.

I see this so clearly now. I can’t run away from myself any longer. There is no possible hope for me. A Hapa will never be understood in this world. Will never feel human warmth. Will never belong anywhere. We will forever be strangers. No one can save the Hapa. We are doomed species. If you are not a WMAF, its not directly your fault that we were born. And yet even for you neutral bystanders, there is nothing you could do to save a Hapa, even if you wanted to. Its plain that the Hapa soul is damned. We are monsters, abominations and freaks. Hounded from all directions. We will never know peace in life. We are a horror story.

My only regret is being born. I have done my best to manage this Hapa life. Till the last moment. I have grasped at any straw. And possibility of living something resembling a normal life, I have leapt at. I have tried my best to overcome my Hapa disability. But at the end of the day, this is something I just was born with. Being Hapa is like having down syndrome. Because you are a white baby with slanty mongoloid eyes. That means you have down syndrome. I had no more chance in this life than a Down syndrome baby. But I didn’t get any down syndrome privilege. I was expected to be a normal, functional, human, adult, male. When in fact, just by being Hapa, I was severely disabled.

There is no escape from the Eurasian life, save suicide. There will be those who will say suicide is always wrong. They will make no serious attempt to study the Eurasian issue. They will just tell you to live, to satisfy their own lying moral superiority. It is clear to anyone who knows what Eurasians are, that their lives are impossible.

I debated with myself the possibility of trying yet again. Marching forward for yet another epic fail. But not this time. My batteries are spent. I have given a life I hated my all. As much as I have hated this life, I have done as much to save it, as though I loved, cherished and held it so dear. I have treated a shitty life as thought it were indeed precious to me. This is more than my Hapa life deserved. Not again. I will not try again. It is not so important to me, that I be rejected by real people in person, and not on the internet. I lack the spiritual reserves to try that again. It is clear what my limits are. And truly I would be insane, if I were to believe things would be different this time.

There is so much evil in this world. And i couldn’t do anything about it. WMAF embodies many of the evils of this world. Racial, sexual, imperialist domination based on sadism. How can I do good in this world, when I was born of WMAF? How can women see anything in a Eurasian male, when he is born of a relationship so degrading to women? All good people in this world are united in hating WMAF. They will never see anything good in the sons of WMAF. the evil people who champion WMAF, are not the friends of Eurasian men. I don’t need any WMAF couples, telling me that I have hybrid vigor.

Its apparent in the end, I’m nothing but a monster and a ogre. The female in me lacks whiteness, and the Asian in me lacks femaleness. It is undeniable that what is missing from a Eurasian son who is white but not female, male but not white is the white woman. She is directly opposite to wmaf. The exact thing that WMAF is not. And I suppose when I reached out to white women, I was looking to save my own soul from the damnation of WMAF. For she had everything that was absent in me. My white dad is not a woman. My Asian mom is not a white. These are the missing pieces in a complete human being. Its not surprising that after talking to this blonde girl in 2011, I imagined my AMWF blonde mom. Perhaps, I saw in her, the white mom, I should have had. She was yet another way of undoing my parent’s marriage. In Asia, I seek Asian men. In America I seek White women. AMWF. The opposite of WMAF. The parents I never had. In Asia, I’m searching for my Asian dad, in America for my white mom. Perhaps I’m nothing but a stupid baby to white women. Because maybe I was looking for them to be my white mommy.

This was the last hope I was looking for. To find my Asian daddy in Asia, my white mommy in America. This was my way of undoing my birth. This is a kind of suicide. A wish for unbirth. A wish for any parents but my own. Its clear that the metaphorical dissolving of my genes, will never happen. Not in love. So long as I live, I will be stuck with my origins. It is certain that no one will ever rescue me from being Eurasian. If I want to stop being Hapa, I must perish.

I can’t right all the evils of the world. But I can undue what has been the cruelist evil to me. Which is being a WMAF Eurasian son. I’m defined by my WMAF genes. And if I hate them so much, I’m free to flush out my DNA.

I’m trapped in my life, surrounded by races that hate me everywhere. I have never known what it feels like to not be hated. For a human being to like you, I wont even bother to say love, and not despise you. I’m garbage to the human race. They have treated me like subhuman scum, and I have been convinced of their truth. I no longer consider myself to be a human being. I consider Hapas to be some distinct mutant species. If humans do not think I’m human, who am I to contest them? I can’t tell whites I’m white. I can’t tell Asians I’m Asian. I can’t tell humans, I’m human.

It so easy to tell a Hapa to live, when you’re not Hapa.

I feel rather desperate and trapped. That this Eurasian life must be thrown away. I just can’t imagine any possible good life for a Hapa man. This whole scheme to go to Asia, has really brought home, how homeless I’m in this world. I think it was a stupid idea. What was it based on? The belief that it would be better off, if my mom had stayed in Asia and married an Asian man. But going back to Asia now, at this age, as a Eurasian who can’t speak Asian. That is far, far, from being born an AMWF son in Asia. I’m not even grateful that I’m not a full-Asian man in America. People say I should be. And I myself even said I might have an aesthetic advantage as half-white back in 2011. But I no longer believe so. I’m just another Asian man, to the people who count. And if I’m going to be an Asian male, I’d rather have an Asian dad, than the humiliation of being born of WMAF castration. And its not so great having a white last name, it just reminds them of my white dad, when they see my Asian face. And if its so important, I coulda just had my name legally changed to Anglo. And if life really did suck so bad for a full-Asian in America, at least I’d have 2 sets of families to run home to in Asia. I would be more close to Asian culture, and probably even know the language. Of course at this point we’re not really talking about me anymore. Since everything I’m is the sum total of WMAF genes and upbringing.

We can imagine a whole host of ‘mes’. Full white,Full Asian, Mulatto, half-latino etc. I mostly focus on my mom’s genes, because its her East Asian genes that have doomed me. East Asian male is the worst thing to be in the West. And my mom gave it to me. Despite the fact that she herself married a white man. But yes my full-white or half-white hypothetical son of my dad is just as much ‘me’. But I don’t even have to justify my dad’s alternative sons. Since its clear that if he had married any other race of women, but East Asian, his sons would be doing just fine. Its so sad, that the East Asian woman is the white man’s favorite alternative to white. When any other mixture whatsoever would give him healthier sons. But he wants the supposedly most feminine race of women, not giving a shit, that his son will have to suffer being the most feminine race of man. I don’t even bother thinking of my life as a full-white, since its out of my league. When I imagine alternatives its mostly being a full-Asian male in either America or Asia. Since its my mom’s shitty East Asian genes that doomed me. She won’t take responsibility for what shes done. She thinks life being easy for an Asian woman in America, makes it easy for Asian men.

I’m at the end of my rope here. I just don’t see any way out. And the whole Asia scheme, just reminds me that I will never be at home anywhere. I’m an Asian foreigner in America and I’ll be an American foreigner in Asia. I would be as alone and isolated in Asia, as I’m here. Cut off from the fabled Asian community. Perhaps Asians are more group-oriented than whites. But I would not be part of any groups.

There is no escape for me. I can travel to the ends of the world, and I will always be Eurasian. I truly am a Frankenstein, Ogre, Elephant Man, Monster, Freak. I’m a beast. I was cursed to be Eurasian. And until I discard my hellish life, I will be stuck with this capsule of a body. I wish I could have righted some evils in this world. But this is one evil I do have the power to ill. It is clear to me that WMAF is part of the intersection of the evils of this world. Of racial and sexual domination. With its origins in imperialist wars. I can’t right all the evils of this world. But I can right the evil of my birth. I can undo my birth. It doesn’t matter what my parents intended in having me. These are the consequences. My birth shouldn’t have happened. And if I can undo it I must.

I’m never going to be anything other than a Hapa. Thats all people will ever see in me. They will always see an enemy in me. No one will ever feel anything but hatred towards the Hapa man. I truly am the living definition of a monster. I wish I wasn’t just Hapa. I might as well be an Elephant Man. I wish it wasn’t so subtle. I wish I could just be an Elephant man out in the open. Because this is what all humanity will really see in a Hapa. No one will ever see anything different. I’m a hideous abomination. And every second I go on living is a monument to my cowardice. To clinging to a unsalvagable life. A stranger in Asia, a stranger in America. I have no home. A man without a race, without a country.

I will never have a home anywhere in the world. I will never be accepted by a human of any race. I’m cursed to forever be the Eurasian Male. To this world I’m subhuman scum. Life unfit for life, that needs to be weeded out. I hate this freakish Hapa body I inhabit. I hate everything about myself, and have no other desire than to
self-destruct. I hate all that I’m. Oh that I was born. My parents are so defensive about their choices, but they don’t have to live with the consequences. Let them be Hapa! I’m the one who has to live with the Hapa life. They should just let me be a leech on them forever. Then I would shut up. If I could shun human contact, I could perhaps endure. But everytime I see a human, they see a Hapa in me, and I can’t live with that. Yes race has become the central issue, as it always has been.

I give up. I’ve tried every possibility my stupid Hapa brain could come up with. And its clear that I can’t be saved. This life is undoable. You all try being Hapa, if you disagree. It so easy to tell a Hapa to live, when you’re not Hapa.

No one will ever accept Hapas. Even the so-called sympathetic think its someone elses job to accept Hapas. There must be some fool out there idiotic enough to accept Hapas. Well, there isn’t. No one of any race like Hapas. Hapas are living monsters. You will never understand what it means to be the son of a white dad and asian mom. They killed me from birth. I’m an abomination. I need to be put down like a mad dog. A freak like me, shouldn’t blight the face of this world, with my hideous presence. It is such a crime that I was born.

Eurasian life is totally unendurable

I: Its clear that all Eurasian men are in hopeless situations. They might be able to deny it for a while, and even appear happy and content on the outside, as I myself was able to do for many years. But the crisis inside them, relentlessly crushes them. I read stories about supposed loser men and their burdens, and none of them compares with the Eurasian. It really is a modern day curse to be born of a white dad and asian mom. And it doesn’t matter who they are
individuals. The sexual situation is set up in America, that the WMAF relationship in and of itself is intrinsically harmful to the psychology of their sons. I’m not saying its fair to my parents. But the whole situation is not fair. And these are the results. Like it or not, this is what all WMAF produces in their sons.

U: And you feel that no decisions on your part could have rescued you from this situation?

I: I’m sitting on my hands now, no denying it. But I didn’t always. I have tried every possible way to make peace with the world. I have surrendered and prostituted myself to my worst enemies to make a deal. I was ready to accept any terms. I called it unconditional surrender, V-J day and I meant it. And before it came to this crisis point, I had already been experimenting with multiple possible life paths. When it was clear that sexuality would play no place in my life, I seriously pursued becoming a Christian Monk. I was ready to make any deal with anyone.

U: Your definition of surrender to American culture is flirting with beautiful white girls.

I: I wouldn’t call anything I do flirting. And as I said, I also pursued becoming a Monk. Right now over the last few days, I even considered living a Monkish life in Asia. I’m widely open-minded. I’m reasonable for any possible deal. I have done everything possible to preserve this Hapa life. As much as someone who loves and clings to life. I who hate life. I have more than fulfilled my fiduciary responsibility to this life I hate so much. If there was any possible Hapa life to be lived, I would have found it.

U: You use the term Hapa life, implying that this is purely a racial issue.

I: Its impossible to separate the universal rejection, from the situation of being a Hapa son of WMAF. These are the particular racial-sexual circumstances prevailing in America. WMAF happens in the way it does, with such rhetoric, to fulfill that niche. I’ve discussed it 100s of times. My life is a Hapa life. Defined by being half white and half Asian. And its impossible to understand without that fact. With it, it all falls into place.

U: At this point, you just want an escape from life?

I: I see clearly now, that no Hapa man life will ever be worth living. I see just how desperate the Hapa situation is. Frankly, I don’t even care about these petty issues of race and sex anymore. In the grand scheme of things, when you are not going to exist, those are rather small. Perhaps the future wave of Eurasian men, will find their way, perhaps they wont. It wouldn’t matter to me, if I ceased to exist. But yeah, a couple of more years of this is unbearable.

U: Now you have stated that if your parents were to allow you to be a permanent basement-dweller you would call it even with them. And freed from the world, you could live relatively long-term. Perhaps decades more.

I: In this sense race is a social construct. I never wanted to think of myself as Eurasian or Asian. And under free conditions I would not have. This identity was socially imposed on me. Because everyone saw the Eurasian in my face. And they imposed Asian on me, against my will. Without this social imposition, I don’t have to define myself in terms primarily of being half-asian. If I could be left alone. The high school squabbles with my parents, seems so petty now, knowing that I would end up this. I would have been more chilled and laid back, if I knew nothing mattered and this was my destiny anyway.

U: Now from there point of view, its for your own good to be a normal human being.

I: But its not a possibility. And we have to keep the selfish gene aspect in mind. They could have just adopted kids. They selfishly believed there was something worth preserving in their WMAF genes. I told my white dad, that eugenics would have prevented my parents from mating, and a freak like me from being born. And he thinks so-called intelligence proves I’m not an inferior mixture. Lets see the fruit of this Eurasian brightness. This writing is the only thing my brain has ever produced. I’m not a normal human being. I’m not capable of living a normal life. And I wont take on the responsibilities. I should live like Rain Man. They’re right, if I’m unable to support myself, their future deaths, will mean my death. That might be true. So I would have to commit suicide, a couple of decades from now, because I would be totally incapable of functioning as an independent adult. Granted. They are correct. But by denying me this, they aren’t ‘saving’ me. I’m not ever going to shape up and be a functional male. Instead of killing myself, in a few decades, I’ll have to die, much sooner. Thats the only result.

U: Now, Hapas are not the only evil in the world.

I: Its all connected. I would say WMAF, in its current form, perfectly embodies all the evil trends floating around the world. The ideology of cruelty and sadism is realized in WMAF. It is a substantiation of all the evil in the world. Perhaps not the leader, but a joiner in the trends. And as a Hapa male I’m the incarnation of evil. But sure the regular evils of the world, are enough to lead any thinking, feeling white male to suicide. Such as a Mitchel Heisman. I think if a universal, coloress (white) man, were to seriously examine the circumstances of human existence, he would come to anti-natalist conclusions. But those who are generally comfortable or at least tolerable in their lives can endure it. Eurasian life is totally unendurable.

U: You couldn’t do anything for yourself, do you regret not helping others?

I: I tried with all my heart.

U: You tried to help your ’causes’, driven by your anger and hatred at being Eurasian. But you weren’t exactly saintly towards individuals. When have you ever helped another human being? Providing laughs for white girls, by being a semi-entertaining freak show, is not exactly charity work.

I: I tried my best to provide foreign aid, even to my own detriment. But it was impossible to be effective, when I myself was a nation in collapse. In racial civil war.

U: Your only cause was the Eurasian cause.

I: Only if Eurasian is broadly understood, as discussed earlier, to be the symbol of all the evils in the world. My activities in the real world, actually had very little to do with being Eurasian. Sure if you trace my psychology and motivations, yes its always about being Hapa. But theres no direct link.

U: You focus all your hatred on WM and AF. But the fact is, you’ve never had any negative interactions with AF. You’ve been ok with them. Does it make sense to be so hateful over stuff you read on the internet? Agreed, the AF as created by the web, is a devious monster. But why hate real people over an internet caricature? If anything your interactions with AF are better than they’ve been with AM and WFs, who you have only good things to say about. Those little, innocent white girls bullied you in elementary school. Teased you, mocked you, gave you cooties. Sure you had more problems with white boys than asian boys. But this was just because there are a lot more whites in America. Proportional to their population, your interactions with Asian guys, have been as ugly as with white. Those you hate, those you love, are based entirely on statistics and internet anecdotes, not on personal experiences.

I: Are the facts untrue?

U: Should you hate based on facts, you never personally encountered?

I: I wouldn’t say never.

U: But you admit its primarily from these external sources?

I: They helped amplify what I had already experienced personally. They provided a narrative explanation that fit my personal data.

U: You read some article on the internet, and it plunges you into a new depression. Do you honestly feel the people around you hated you?

I: I wouldn’t deny it.

U: Even the Lotte to your Young Werther?

I: Lotte is just a symbol. A pretty Germanic face to make suicide more Wertherian. Nothing more than a blue cloak to be worn in imitation.

U: A prop in a stage drama.

I: Any storyline is better than the Hapa one. Perhaps it would be a stupid idea to have a Eurasian suicide. Except that it is easier to die with shallow ugliness than sublime beauty. With these WMAF issues, I know quite clearly in my gut, why I’m dying. If its so high and beautiful, its hard to die over it. Its easier to die in ugliness.

U: You wanted to run back to Asia, to escape your hated white people. Is Lotte, a German Nazi that hates you?

I: I’d rather not drag my happiness into my hapaness. Even if it was a fake happy. Not everything in my life, needs to be pissed on by Hapa. But at the end of the day. Yes. All of them. Its the whole system of Hapa oppression. And I’d have to say they are all part of it. And if I was to run away, I’d be running away from everyone. But there is no place to run to, so long as I live. I need to outrun life itself.

U: These are your feelings?

I: The moments which are so dear and important to me, mean absolutely nothing in the scheme of things. If you muddy them with Hapaness, they shall be as filthy as everything else. They mean nothing to the world. I prefer to keep them locked up in my heart, away from my Hapa. But if one insists on dragging it into the light, it to shall be filled with Eurasian ugliness. Nothing escape the shadows.

U: Then you have no interest in pursuing any remaining life projects?

I: I would hate to live another 10 years. There would be no nightmare greater than that. I’m surprised I have lived this long. Twas not my intention to. And the longer I live, the more my hatred of life is confirmed. No one will ever understand the Eurasian male. I see that all my words have been in vain. The Eurasian, is totally and completely alone. Every Eurasian, must make the choice for himself, on whether his life is worth living or not. But no human being will ever understand the Eurasian. We shall forever be cut off.

The gender pairing of my parents is not by accident.

U: Is it self-centered of you to see all the evils of the universe embodied in the Eurasian son?

I: It is the epicenter of racial and sexual conflict right now. Every white troll with nasty views on the internet, can be assumed to have an Asian fetish. Asians have become the Queens of evil white nerds. For men who believe that women exist to be their slaves, they used to think that PUA could browbeat women into submission through negative comments. It turns out that negging a girl’s hair isn’t the same thing as being a caveman dragging her by her hair. And so there has been a Red Pill retreat with white women. Marked with Roosh’s humiliating defeat in Feminist Denmark. And since then we’ve since a shift to focus on Asian men as the target, and not white women. The insults are for Asian males, not white girls. Defeat Asian men, take their submissive women. The anger that used to be concentrated on women, is now reserved for Asian men. Ironically these MRAs consider Asian men to patriarchal. White women need to be slapped around to be put in their place. But Asian women are gentle lotus flowers that need to be tended to and protected by White PUA Feminists. It is a mountain of contradictions. But its really all just justification, for the simple fact that Asian women are considered easy for white nerds. The rest is just rhetoric. I would also add that with the sexualization of the HBD race-realist movement, blacks are actually kind of admired as an Alpha Male race. They are at least respected as competition. And so racial issues have become more and more defined as White vs Asian rather than White vs Black. If the traditional enemies of the White male were Black men and white women. He has now concentrated both his racial and sexual hatred on Asian men now. And the scary thing is, these are the men who are going to be raising the next generation of Asian sons. We can say that this generation of Asians, is a population of captives, being held in slavery by hateful white men.

U: Now you have always said, even back in 2011, that your parents are not uniquely evil. Is it fair to judge them for belonging to a category? After all, thats your big beef with being Eurasian. If people would judge you for the content of your character, you wouldn’t complain. Its being judged for belonging to the category of Asian, that you hate. Are you not doing the same thing?

I: The very nature of WMAF in which each additional WMAF adds to the emasculation of Asian men, makes them participants in WMAF privilege just by being WMAF. If the genders had been reversed, it wouldn’t have been so convenient for an Asian male foreigner in America to find a white bride. The gender pairing of my parents is not by accident. Its not a coincidence that the white is the dad and the asian is the mom. Statistically I had a much higher chance of being born of WMAF than to AMWF. In this sense there is an inherent tension between WMAF and their sons. Is every last WMAF evil? I suppose there can be white men with very good politics, who happens to have an Asian wife. Should he be demonized on that account? At the same time, white liberals are willing to recognize that white privilege exists in a structural relation to Blacks, even where unintentional. To point that out in regard to Asians, is considered out of line however. If white liberals can talk about structural racism for Blacks, I don’t see why we should just pretend that Asians are just nerdy white people.

U: Now you have tried to be precise in your claims, and reference stats, studies, anecdotes where possible. To what extent can you precisely say that WMAF and AMWF is a inverse relationship? That the increase in WMAF is responsible for the fall in AMWF.

I: There is a chart that shows since the 1980s, the gap between WMAF and AMWF has expanded. That is the definition of an inverse relation. As WMAF goes up, AMWF goes down. And I think its easy to reason out why this is the case. If WMAF is based on the premise that Asian males are not men. Then as WMAF provides more and more proof of the lack of Asian manhood, then they will become even less attractive to white women. Its in this way, that ALL WMAF parents are in direct conflict with their sons.

U: You believe that the large numbers of WMAF is a major cause for the lack of AMWF. And it must be a major cause, or you would be silly for concentrating so much angst on a minor cause.

I: Both a cause and effect. The emasculation of Asian men, makes it easier for white nerds to WMAF. This in turn further castrates Asians. Which gives excuse for more Asian women to WMAF. Its a feedback loop. And clearly it does send a message to women of all races. Its not fun being a Eurasian son of WMAF. I really can’t imagine any racial combination, pure or mixed, with either gender, worse than being the son of WMAF. And if its true that the worst white men marry Asian. You have the combination of the worst white individuals mixing their genes with the worst race. Quite the opposite of a WMAF master race. More like the worst race possible. And what have the results been? If we look at the track record of actual sons of white dads and asian moms, and not AMWF/turkish/kazakh/quapa cheating, then the results bare me out. Despite their huge numbers, and in many cases financial wealthy, WMAF has not produced a single successful son. Tommy Chong was an AMWF son. His mother was Lorna Jean (née Gilchrist), a waitress of Scots-Irish and French ancestry,[4] and his father was Stanley Chong, a Chinese truck driver who immigrated to Canada from China in the 1920s. Why is it that AMWF despite being so much smaller has all the successful sons? WMAF pretends its an accident, and that their Eurasian son can be a Brandon Lee or Dean Cain Tanaka. A Eurasian is a Eurasian they say. And they don’t bother asking the obvious question, that if you outnumber AMWF 100:1, why are you the ones stealing their sons? We saw the same phenomenon not on the celebrity level but on my personal life. When the AMWF son in high school was a football jock with a white girlfriend, while I was a freak. Again, not a
coincidence.

U: You believe it is harder for a WMAF Eurasian son to AMWF than for a full Asian male?

I: WMAF will scream at the top of their lungs that it SHOULDN’T be the case. Actual facts be damned. Its just too against their ideology. Whiteness equals success. Since the WMAF son is more white, by definition he should be more successful. And this is a tautology, no need for actual data. The inability to name a successful WMAF son, means nothing. Again part of it is the Uncanny Valley. If you want white you can easily get full white. If you want Asian you can get Asian. AMWF exists. And the WF in it want AM. The other part of it is the genetic and psychological consequences of Hapa sons being the sons of the worst white men. WMAF wants to believe that the worst white men are better than the best Asian men. The contrast between AMWF and WMAF sons clearly refutes that. But they don’t care about facts. Their ideology says whites are always right. And reality doesn’t matter. I’m not aware of a single Eurasian male, in the history of the world, who has ever dated a white girl.

U: Are white girls at all to blame, for holding Eurasian men in such disgust in account of their race?

I: I can put myself in the shoes of a full-Asian man. Would I want to be friends with a WMAF son, who is the offspring of parents who degrade my masculinity? No! Flip side. As a white woman, would I want to date the sons of Boycott Western Women? No.

U: You think Western women boycott WMAF sons as revenge?

I: I’m not saying they do. But that would be a totally justified reason to.

U: But you do believe that women who are willing to date full-Asian men and AMWF Hapas are specifically boycotting the sons of white men who boycotted western women?

I: I don’t think its an organized movement like the MGTOWs who boycott western women in favor of Happier Abroad, eastern women. I know for a fact, that no white woman has ever spoken in these terms. All I’m saying is 1 she would be justified in doing so. And 2. the actual fact is I have seen AMWF with my own eyes, I’ve seen AMWF Hapas dating white girls with my own eyes. But I have never seen nor even heard of any WMAF Eurasian whatsoever dating a white girl. There has to be something to that pattern.

U: But its not intentional on the part of white women?

I: Maybe eurasian men really are inferior specimens. And thats why even white women who would give Asian and AMWF Hapa men a chance, will never give a WMAF Hapa a chance.

U: Do you feel you have been singled out for this?

I: I don’t want to point fingers at anyone. But here I’m on this blog. Nothing personal against anyone. But if we had to make a prediction on where a WMAF son would end up, I perfectly fulfill that stereotype. I have met universal rejection, in the manner expected of a Eurasian man. We can just say Eurasians are inferior specimens. There doesn’t have to be any boycott. WMAF just makes bad sons, that no one wants. Thats all there is to it. Its not some conspiracy of vengeful white women to punish Happier Abroads.

U: Lets get this straight. Because there is a big AMWF:WMAF gap, its impossible for you as a WMAF son to live.

I: Because of the combination of factors that lead to the AMWF:WMAF masculinity gap, the manhood of Eurasians is totally worthless. And our own parents, willingly or not, contribute to it. This is totally destructive to the psychology of the Eurasian male. We have had white women on this blog say I’m wrong, because they are dating Asian or AMWF Hapa men. That ‘proves’ that I’m just being paranoid and white women are willing to date me. But we’ve never had a white woman even pretend they are are dating a WMAF Eurasian man. WMAF Hapas are just the worst race. Theres nothing else to it. Someone has to be born to the worst race. Due to the large numbers of WMAF, a lot of men have to be born the worst race. And I was one of them. And I’ll be damned, if I know what to do with this Hapa life. Again its not just sex. I will never be socially or professionally accepted anywhere in America, by men or women of any race, since Hapas are just hated. Oh maybe cute Hapa girls are ok. But Hapa men? Universal hatred by everyone of all sexes and races. Even good people hate Hap as, since the sins of the parents are inherited by us.

U: How good are these good people if they punish you for your parents? In your own words your parents aren’t evil. You aren’t evil. So why are all these ‘good people’ punishing you for having parents who belong to a category that includes a lot of evil people?

I: Its not a conscious decision.

U: So you believe unconscious racial-sexual factors are a strong driving force in all people, good or bad?

I: I don’t believe trends happen by accident. I will be honest, I feel that I will never be able to connect, even with the few good people I admire. That I will always be held at arm’s length from them due to my Hapaness. They might be polite and civil to me. But I will never be friends with them, because my Hapa makes me an alien. And perhaps being the son of WMAF, would be a taint on their goodness. Perhaps I’m an inherently corrupting force, and have no business with goodies. Anyway most people are evil anyhow.

U: Its quite a sad story, you’re telling, why are all these good people bleeding hearts over other people’s problems, but without sympathy for Eurasians?

I: Its not direct state or economic oppression. They will say that I just want my Half-White privilege. People are free to associate with who they want. You can’t force people to be friends with Hapas. Hapas are not people. Its not just them, its me. The worst part of other people, is that I have to see my Hapa reflection in their eyes.

U: In a way, rather than being jealous of WMAF, white women are actually relieved by it. If its going to take the heat of the worst white misogynists off them. If all that gender hatred, is going to be concentrated on submissive Geishas and not white girls. So much the better for white girls. Its not white women being hurt by Boycott Western Women, its WMAF sons. The dagger meant for Western Women, has struck the Eurasian son in the heart.

I: Its true, no one has an interest in supporting Hapa issues. We are society’s trash. Rather than solve these racial and sexual issues, better to throw it all on the back of Eurasian men. They are the scapegoats. White men, Asian women, white women can all live together in peace, with the Eurasian male taking on all the suffering for them. Their peace is bought at the expense of Eurasian slavery. And this is why even people who have no direct stake in WMAF, are quite happy to leave Hapas enslaved by their WMAF parents.

Hapas don’t belong in Asia

U: This whole back to Asia movement is more symbolic rhetoric than a practical scheme. It is another attempt to undue your WMAF birth. You romanticize how much better life would have been if your mom had stayed in Asia and married an Asian man. This is your chance to pretend your mom never left Asia. But the very impossibility of this task, is a reminder of how impossible it is to erase your WMAF birth. You can’t just pretend you didn’t live this Eurasian life. And with the language and citizenship barrier, you are just as cut off from Asia as you are from Whites. This is what it means to be a tragic Eurasian. You belong neither East nor West. You can’t just pretend you weren’t born in America to a white dad and asian mom. That you lived here, not there.

I: Perhaps it is partially metaphorical language about undoing my birth. But a metaphor can be both rhetorical and practical at the same time. Yes this is a chance to recapture the AMAF birth in Asia, I never had. But if my primary problem is racism in USA, this is my chance to never see white people.

U: You have even less prospects in Asia, than you do in USA. Sure if you had the financial resources to be an idler and a dilettante. But then you could just hide out in USA anyway.

I: Heres my best case scenario for Asia. I find a way to teach English in a off the beaten track city, where I never have to encounter foreigners. The pay is low, but its worth it to avoid whites. Slowly I deepen my language skills and integrate into the culture. I get a longterm work visa. And perhaps I do eventually become a citizen.

U: You as the adult son of an Asian woman, actually have less of a chance of getting citizenship in her country than a White Expat with an Asian wife. You are as cut off from Asia as a white man at this point. Its a stupid scheme, that can’t work. Its a metaphor. You wish, your mom had never come to America. If she came from dirt poor poverty you could appreciate the economic gains. But since there isn’t that, you have nothing but hatred of your birth. You look enviously on your imagined life as an AMAF son in Asia. Now you want to steal that life from pretend you. But you can’t. Its never going to be that, your Asian mom stayed in Asia and married an Asian man. This wont change that. You will never undue your WMAF birth so long as you live. Hapas don’t belong in Asia. Just look at how Amerasians were treated in Vietnam, as proof of what Asians really think of you offspring of imperialist aggression.

I: Don’t belong East or West or anywhere.

U: You can try it, if you just wanna kill some time. But Asia is not going to clean up America’s WMAF mess. America is stuck with you Hapa sons. this is a western problem. If it were white women flocking to Asia, then Asia would have to do it. Since its white men, bringing their brides home, this will always be a problem for the West. Nice try trying to dump your human garbage in Asia.

I: theres no denying that the origins of this, lay in my thought experiments of what life would be like had my mom stayed in Asia and married Asian. When I discovered that her country’s GDP per capita would eventually surpass the USA’s, and had less economic inequality, meaning a higher median income, that was the last straw. I couldn’t even say I had been paid off for my misery. I enjoy the hell of being Eurasian in America, and I’m probably poorer for it, than if my mom had married Asian. And thats when I started imagining how much better that life would be. To the extent that I tried to seek it. Thats all true. But it doesn’t mean this plot can’t stand on its own feet.

U: you’d be a total foreigner in Asia. Its not the same as being born there. Theres nothing for you in America, but that doesn’t mean theres anything for you anywhere else either. You’re clutching at straws here.

I: I’ve done my best to exhaust all possibilities for living a Hapa life. With these dead ends, I become more convinced that Hapa life is inherently unlivable. The worst of racial and sexual conflict is embodied in the WMAF Hapa. I just don’t see how we can live. All the evils of the world, are in a fixed point on me.

U: All is lost for you?

I: As much as I hate this life, I’ve fulfilled all obligations to search every possible option of saving it. No more can be asked of me. If there is anyway a Hapa life can be lived, I woulda tried it. The original case from 2011, about why Hapa life sucks still stands. I truly do believe, that it is impossible to live as a WMAF son. Its clear to me now, I will be no more accepted in Asia, than I’m in USA.

U: And life in USA?

I: Thats been my primary focus up till the last 2 days. I’ve written tons on how unlivable life is for a Hapa in USA. The universal hatred I receive. Yeah, we had some fun moments in 2011, but clearly its no solution. Hapa life can’t be lived. Don’t be born Eurasian.

Not belonging in East or West, is what it means to be Hapa

I: I have been doing some research on Asian citizenship. And it seems I might have missed the boat on this one. It is true that matrileneal citizenship is provided for foreigners. Having an Asian mom is enough to become a citizen. But this only applies for minors. As an adult I’m in the same boat as the white expats who whine on their forums about how despite residing in Asia for 20 years, and having an Asian wife and kids, he still can’t become a citizen. I would be in the same position as a white expat. Its not to say that its impossible, but my Asian mom would provide no advantage to me. Which is a good metaphor for my whole life. She has been no more able to give me a passport to Asia, than my dad has been able to give me white privilege.

U: Aren’t you always looking for excuses to dismiss solutions? If the basic facts of yesterday still stand, you can still get a work visa, and occasionally come back home. If Asia, really does offer an escape from American problems, then you should take it.

I: Becoming an expat ESL teacher would be the epitomie of what I hate. The very fact that WMAF propagandists see dumping their kids in Asia, as the solution to their problems, is proof that its a bad idea.

U: There is nothing wrong with Asians teaching other Asians, the English language. Its true that ESL has become the definition of WMAF. But if you could be the sole English teacher, in an area without foreigners, you would be granted what you wished.

I: Yeah, to the extent thats possible. If I would have to work in some ESL institution with white expats, that would be far worse than USA. And we have a test case right on this blog. A Eurasian who went back to Asia, because he was sick of life in American culture. And he is on the brink of suicide. Its hard to see his path as a model solution. I don’t think this American problem is going to be solved in Asia.

U: Last night you were inclined to this option, what has changed?

I: Specifically the idea was that I could steal the life of my unborn imaginary AMAF half-bro. I was envious of his life in Asia as a pure Asian male in the Confucian hive. And I romanticized and glamorized his life so much, that the question arose, why not steal it? Sure as a Eurasian emigre, I would never truly have a racial home. But to the extent that I could approach the ordinary life of an Asian born in Asia, perhaps I could forget the nightmare of being a Hapa American. It works very well for Hapa girls looking to escape their creep white dads. But as usual, the road is far harder for the Hapa male. If citizenship was as simple as being my Mom’s son. At least that hurdle would be passed. But as a mere foreign devil, I would be oceans apart from Asian normality.

U: You can still make a trip to Asia, try to find work, and give it a chance. A recon mission as you put it. Perhaps it turns out to be a mirage or a hell. But suicide will be waiting for you when you get back. You don’t owe your readers a rational explanation for suicide. Its clear that no matter what efforts you make, and what data you present, most will consider suicide always wrong for all people under all circumstances. These people are useless to convince. If you waste a few more months, and are wrong, you can still die. Psychologists have shown that most suicides don’t occur at the blackest depths of depression, for then one is paralyzed with apathy. It is only when recovery begins, that one actually has the energy to execute a suicide. In that sense, coming out of your despair, might be the first step to ending your life. Perhaps life is hell. What is an extra few months of recon, just to be absolutely sure?

I: I’m not going to be tricked into living forever.

U: You would still be dead by the end of the year.

I: Months becomes years, then its too late.

U: If things become that desperate, and your WMAF parents selfishly refuse to support you. Then even alive, you can become a public spokesman against them. You can speak out at public events about the hellishness of being a Eurasian son. If it comes to the point, in which you are impoverished and can’t escape the cage of life. Then you can become a public Hapa activist. There would be no reason, not to show your Hapa face at that point. If it comes to that worst case scenario. But theres no reason, you can’t visit Asia, and still be dead within a year, if thats what you desire.

I: Asia does not have the obligation nor the ability to be the solution to WMAF sons.

U: It may or may not be realizable. But if you find a job in Asia, in which you can avoid all foreigners, than at least the racial aspect of your case can be erased. And clearly that is a big part of it.

I: Coming back to this blog has been a big distraction. I can’t focus when these SEL issues dominate me.

U: Its better not to hide from your issues, but to talk your way through them. Face them head on. Thats what you did in 2011, and it bought you peace for a year.

I: I don’t think Hapa issues, will ever be resolved until I stop being Hapa.

U: Perhaps the lead up to the trip to Asia, is more important than the trip itself. Give America one last chance, in the spirit of 2010, before leaving her shores forever. At the risk of sounding grandiose, take on the entire Asian identity, like Jesus absorbing the sins of all humanity. You are the only Asian in the world. And those insults are not directed at a group called Asian. But you personally- Mr.Hapa. You can take it. What if all those Asian slurs, are just personal insults for Mr.Hapa? Are they not deserved? If Mr.Hapa was a man, he would have suicided 1000 times by now. Can you claim that you deserve anything better?

I: People are cruel apes, but anything beats the internet.

U: You jumped out of the pan of meatspace into the hellish flames of cyberspace. Reading online, is the worst possible place to escape the evils of human nature.

I: If I were guaranteed permanent isolation from apes, I wouldn’t need to think about them.

U: Thats just an excuse. If you avoid human contact, there is no reason to even think of Hapa issues. This is self-torture. You can’t even blame the trolls as they are just tools you use to scourge yourself with. Don’t blame your instrument of torture, blame yourself for using it against yourself. You have fed the wolf of negativity, a mountain of raw flesh.

I: Get back out there into American life, then give Asia a chance.

U: And if it doesn’t work out, which is admittedly quite likely, you can die secure in the fact that you did everything possible to live this Hapa life. But you were just dealt too bad a hand. Since, childhood you have tried everything you possible can, to make the most out of this Hapa life. And if its just true, that you are predestined to fail. There is no shame in abandoning the capsule of your body at that moment. One last effort. The last full measure of your devotion.

I: And then eternal, peaceful, dreamless sleep. I’m so tired of life. It would be nice to slumber and never wake up. To have never been born Hapa.

U: It might well be, that a Hapa life is just unlivable, and theres nothing anyone can do with it. You tried your best. You didn’t sit on your hands. You showed energy and drive in trying to turn the tide. To the best of your ability, which was admittedly scant.

I: More and more, I fall into biological determinism. And just believe there is no use for WMAF genes. And we can add in nurture to, such as WMAF upbringing, and US reaction to Asians. Genes or environment, they equally predestine me to failure.

U: Oriental Fatalism.

I: Or naive Tiger Mom, blank slatism, believing children can be shaped like clay, by hard Confucian pounding. Whites are the ones who just accept their kids are bad at math. Asians are the ones who drill it in. So sure you can call it Oriental fatalism. Or its the Western fatal flaw. All the drilling in the world, can’t take the Hapa out of the Eurasian.

U: Whats next for you?

I: I might give consideration to the proposal to give life one last chance. But of course if it is undertaken under a spirit of pessimism its already doomed to fail. And yet how do I fake energy for a cause I don’t believe in?

U: You reason out the precise reasons you don’t believe in it.

I: I’m tired and exhausted with life in America. Although admittedly the web is so brutal, I actually miss flesh and blood Americans. Perhaps that one of the biggest pushes outside of the basement. If I’m going to spend all day online reading anti-Hapa hate, I might as well face real life Americans. Its at the point, where I can say nothing is worse than this. I lack faith in Asia, for the reasons I’ve mentioned. This isn’t the 1st time the Asian solution has been mentioned. And these same doubts were raised before.

U: Can you give this just a few months of commitment? To America and Asia. And if the end result is your funeral, so be it.

I: And why is my life so precious, that we have to make all this effort to save it?

U: You had a little fun in 2011.

I: And so what good is breaking my neck to recapture it? The high will only last a month. And then I’m faced again with this hellish reality. But my suicide, is delayed yet again, because its hard to abandon life full of false hope, with the glow of recent joys.

U: Then you admit life can be joyful?

I: For any normal person, what I describe as ‘joy’ would be awkward and humiliating. The worst social failures of their lives. It says something that this is the happiness I cling to. Not one of these moments would be worth living for anyone but me.

U: They only have to mean something to you.

I: If I could only stop being Eurasian for a moment, that would be my happiness.

U: Its not too late. You were ready to die in 2013. Its clear you needed a break then, even if the crisis was forced on you, but your ignorant WMAF parents. They just can’t see that a Eurasian son, will never live a normal human life. You needed a cooling off period for 2013. And you had to cool your heels in 2014 too.

I: I don’t think that all progress has to be in actions. The activity of the mind is valuable too. And I think I had many thoughts through these years. Although I don’t think I’m any closer to solving anything.

U: Even sinking to see just how low things can get is progress. To know you are the lowest of the low, worst of the worst. There is liberation in that.

I: Its true this blog hasn’t been as focused on Eurasian issues as in 2011. In a way because I said it all back then. It really shouldn’t be mystery of why a WMAF son would be unhappy with his situation. And there are others doing a very good sociological analysis of the sexual situation of Eurasian men. With those facts already presented, now we have to decide how does a Hapa man live with all that? What kind of life can he live? And can he live it? But the problem of being accepted no where in the world, neither in Asia or in USA, is indeed a uniquely Eurasian issue. Not belonging in East or West, is what it means to be Hapa.

U: Whats your final decision?

I: I’m not sure. I need more facts on what exactly my situation will be in Asia. I will talk to my mom about the details. As for coming out of retirement in America? IDK. To be honest, one of the main reasons would be to escape this blog. I’m running back into the reality, to escape the hell of blogging.

U: The important thing is you commit all one way or the other. Half-measures are worse than worthless in these times.

I: In high school, I said I didn’t want to commit suicide, because I wanted to stay in the game to see where it was all going. Now I have a much better idea of where its all flowing. And things have gotten consistently worse since then. Now I have very little desire to stay in the game of life, to wait for another spin of the dice. I don’t have to prove to myself that my suicide is 100% justified. Maybe I die with a winning lottery ticket in my pocket. Doesn’t mean I will be around to regret my decision. I would die happy, knowing I had left a horrible life. And its not like money would solve the problems I’m dealing with. If I were a millionaire, all I could buy is isolation.

U: Come out of retirement for a few months. Visit Asia. Then discard of you life as you see fit.

I: This is just a delaying tactic!

U: You have delayed for years sitting on your hands. Now delay for months, with a little bit of activity.

I: I don’t see what mysteries this will solve. I seriously doubt I will recapture 2011. I will only defile her memory. But I had 2012, and it only brought me to suicide. Even if I had all those sweet moments all over again, I would still be left again with the necessity of death. I’ve already seen how this movie ends.

U: And what if Eurasian issues never come up in the USA? Will you say that the internet proves they are all faking? Pretend you can read their minds, and sense their subconcious hatred of Eurasians?

I: And if there is open hatred?

U: Then you will have your proof.

I: If I already know life is hell, I don’t need to have my flesh scorched, just to prove it. The point of this, was that it was a prelude to my escape to Asia. But Asia is not going to be a deus ex machina for Hapa problems.

U: Can’t you just choose to have faith to believe this will work out?

I: Its hard for me to force optimism at this point in my life.

U: The optimism that anything at all is better than being a Hapa blogger.

I: The fake optimism of the fact, came from the lie that I could surrender and integrate into US culture. With racialization, that is impossible.

U: It defends how you define integrate. In 2010 the plan was to integrate as a slave. If you forget the tribe, and only remember Mr.Hapa, then theres no reason you can’t. Forget that other Asians exist. Whatever insults there are, they are meant for you personally as Mr.Hapa. You already take all anti-asian insults highly personally. So it shouldn’t be any great leap from there to Mr.Hapa being the only Asian man in the world.

I: And then I can rest?

U: No one would deny it to you at that point.

I: Society would.

U: We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I: And what is the expected payoff for this investment?

U: Escape from the Hapa blogosphere, which should be good enough a reason for you.

I: Internet Hapa discussion is true torture. And that is the one thing that propels me back to real life. It can’t be worse than this. There is more WMAF here, than I’ve ever encountered in my life.

U: Hiding from your enemies in a self-built torture chamber.

I: I fear that running away from America, to be an ESL teacher in Asia, will also be precisely that. Hiding in a torture chamber.

U: The term triggers you. But theres nothing wrong with Asians teaching other Asians.

I: Asians seem to think so. It is well-known that Asians discriminate against Asian-American english teachers.

U: Perhaps your Half-White privilege will come through for you on that count.

I: It seems there is more hope in America than in Asia now. But what can I really hope to achieve here? What is the best case scenario? Lets just say it. If this is a continuation of 2011, then what I’m hoping for must be…well… a white girlfriend. There I said it. Thats what I really mean right? And clearly that is a totally impossibility. So I’d be wasting my time here. Teasing and tormenting myself. Thats the big deal right? Awkward flirting with white girls. So recapturing and surpassing that, would mean dating them. If thats what this is about. Then its a total waste of time.

U: It doesn’t have to be about that. You just need to get your head out of Hapa issues.

I: In America 1st, then Asia. We know what I’m seeking in Asia. But its true, I’m more excited about America. But what exactly am I hoping to achieve here? Its clear I have no future here. What miracle can save me? What is the goal?

U: To not think about Hapa issues.

I: Ok I spend a few months, not thinking about Hapas, and then I’m back to square one. Unless I go to Asia, and that works out. But then that begs the question of what I’m trying to achieve here in USA. Unless its just a pep rally to perk me up.

U: It is partially that.

I: But I think theres a hope that somehow things can work out in USA. Yes to the point of making Asian redundant.

U: Perhaps that says something about yourself. You really don’t want to be Asian. And at the suggestion of becoming a full Asian-Asian, your 1st response is to try to save America. Perhaps thats whats needed to get you active in USA again, the threat of deportation.

I: IDK WTF I want. Its clear that nothing can work out here. And an Asian rescue appears to be a mirage. Yeah, I do feel like I’m back at square one.

U: Just commit to the noble lie, even if it isn’t going to work out. When its all over, you’ll have done something with these few months. And you might not even be alive anymore. Anyway perhaps it will kick the lethargy, that is the main factor keeping you alive. Inertia. You’re an object at rest. Give you a push, and maybe you’ll roll off the table.

I: Believe the lie?

U: Just give this project, what it asks for. And then your life is yours. And maybe you do need to be lifted up a little, so you even have the energy to destroy yourself.

I: I need a clearer idea, on what exactly the plan is for Asia, and how that matches up with reality. Then we can also add in the USA component, but I don’t know what exactly thats supposed to accomplish. A goodbye kiss.

U: It wont work if you have an uncommited negative attitude. Look it doesn’t have to be grand. Lets just say that the Hapa Web is so bad, that you need some real life, just to escape that.

I: If the Hapa issues are real issues, closing my eyes to them for a few months, wont solve crap.

U: Thats why we have the Asia trip at the end of the road.

I: I’m going in circles here. I will have to see, what exactly my plans for Asia are, and whether its possible. Maybe it really is the solution. If it really is all about American racism. And in Asia, I never have to see a white. Then at least that much of my problems is genuinely solved. Even if I’m not a citizen and I’m on a work visa. The specifics I’m not sure about, but if this is genuinely a chance to live without racism, then maybe that is the only thing holding me back. Maybe if I never have to face white people and their contempt for me, I’ll be happy. If this is all about whites hating Asians. And I never have to see a white again. Problem solved right?

Hapas just don’t belong in this world

I: It certainly seems like a daunting task to cram an entire Asian language just for the chance to be a menial laborer in Asia, and occupy a lower position than I could probably obtain in America. I suppose if I has some kind of passion for this country as a Utopia, I could easily take on the task and bare any burden. But I’m not actually filled with passion for Asia. The one thing I want is an escape for white men. But at least on the internet, Asia is facing an invasion of white men anyway. And while there might be less whites in Asia, what they lack in numbers, they make up in quality. You see whites in America, they can just be ordinary dudes or even a girl. In Asia, every single white you see, is assumed to be the worst type of expat.

U: Now you have often been accused of using race as a scapegoat, to mask your own personal flaws. Here you are being offered the solution to your main issue- white people. And don’t say you can’t hate people because you are half white. Glenn Beck thinks Obama hates white people. Quite a few of the conservative white men who marry Asian women also believe this. Obama, is as much white as he is black. You mention your white last name, and the fact that you are cut off from your Asian culture. Obama has even more claim to this, his Kenyan dad left when he was a kid, and he didn’t even visit his home village until he was in his 20s. He was raised entirely by his white mom and grandparents. He had even less contact with his Kenyan relatives than you did with your Asian ones. Now is Obama, a Black president, or is he equally a white president? That is not even a question. If the one-drop rule applies so clearly with Mulattoes, why is there all this angst about Hapas being not really Asian?

I: Because its even worse to be Asian than to be Black, as seen by the difference between AMWF and BMWF. Asian is something no man wants to be. And so even Hapas who look Asian, will use any excuse they can to claim that their white dad, makes them not really Asian.

U: Look your mom made a mistake. It wasn’t done maliciously. It was done ignorantly, perhaps negligently. Your parents aren’t the WMAFs of the internet. Under different circumstances, there would be absolutely nothing wrong with them on that count. But in a WMAF society, its impossible to separate it. It was a mistake for you to be born of WMAF in America. This can rectify the mistake.

I: Its a little late in life, to pretend, I’m just a normal Asian in Asia born of AMAF parents. In a way, I’m a victim of my own
propaganda. I’m willing to play Devil’s Advocate with myself. So I wanted to know the GDP per capita of my mom’s homeland. IF it was significantly lower than USA, I could at least be grateful for the economic benefits. But not only was it not much lower, according to projections, it was expected to soon exceed the USA. According to psychologists this is the ideal type of happiness. A poor man getting richer and richer, is happier than a rich man getting poorer and poor. The rise is more joyful than the fall, even if you end up in the same place. And the other thing to consider is that there is less income inequality in Asia. The GDP per capita, does nothing for people in the middle and bottom, if you don’t actually see the money. With a lower Gini coefficient, it means you can actually get some of that GDP. So there was no need for me to be the least bit grateful about being born in USA to WMAF. Not only do I suffer social degradation, but I can’t even say I’m being paid off for it. Equal economic circumstances with much worse social, racial, sexual situation. If anything, the data, would only hate my parents more. I was trying to be nice, and be grateful for the better life they gave me, compared to Asia. And I only end up resenting them more.

U: And this is what lead you to finally consider the move to Asia. You’ve thought about it on and off since high school. Although not to your mom’s country. But somewhere in Asia. Part of it is, you didn’t want to do the work for it, which you aren’t crazy about now either. And you can be blamed for laziness on that count. Lets say the USA is a totally racist nation. You are offered an escape from it, but are too lazy to climb out. If your imaginary AMAF Half-Bro in Asia is living such a serene life in the Confucian hive, why can’t you join him? Sure being a Hapa immigrant at this age, isn’t the same thing as being born there of AMAF parents. But if its so much a better society to live in, you still have the chance to do it, even as a Hapa. And you might very well encounter whites only as ghosts in the wind. Understandably when comments advised you to go to Asia to find a wife, you were very put off. There is no pleasure in being with a woman, who you find both physically and morally repulsive. Theres no joy, in being with a person you hate and despise. But that isn’t the bait for this offer. The bait if a chance to be a worker drone in the Confucian hive. To live with a totally different value system. And even if their culture is corrupted by McDonaldization, at least they will all look homogeneous. There wont be white people. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t have to be about values for you. If everyone looks like you, and you no longer have to suffer as a minority, thats good enough.

I: It would be a lot easier to just suicide. Why take up such a burden, for a life I’m not even enthusiastic about, and wont even be that great? Its an even harder life, than that which awaits me in USA. The only benefit, is no white people. And even that is not an absolute. What they lack in quantity in Asia, they more than make up for in quality. Every single white guy in Asia, is a WMAF right out of the internet. In the same way that withdrawing from the USA to the web, just made things worse. This could be a leap from the pan into the WMAF fire. Now that truly would be hell. The burden of learning Asian, adjusting to a new society, struggling with no prospects, only to be stuck with the worst of wmaf.

U: If the situation is that bad, that even in a wealthy Asian home nation, they live under the heels of WMAF. Then truly Asians are a hopeless case, and theres nothing to be done with them. If you can’t escape the humiliation of Asians, in Asia, then truly all is lost. Africa is poor. But if a Black man chose to go back to Africa, he could be assured that he would be living under a Nationalist government of Blacks for Blacks and by Blacks. He would find what he was looking for. If Asians, the most populous on earth, can’t go anywhere to be at home, then truly they are a dead race.

I: Perhaps I’m a tad apocalyptic. But with all the news of the Rise of Asia, I don’t feel like crap is getting any better. Alright maybe thats my 1st world problems perspective. Having taken economics for granted, perhaps I don’t take the genuine achievements seriously enough. It is no small thing to lift millions out of poverty. And probably its better to live in an Asian Tiger Nation than Africa.

U: If you are so angry at Asian females, will Asia really free you from hate? You will still be hating the female half of the population. If you can’t stand the sight of Asian women, in Asia you will be overwhelmed with ugliness.

I: Its WMAF I hate. If all I’m seeing in Asia is AMAF, I wont care. You’re right, if Asia is full of WMAF it will be leaping from the pan into the fire. Maybe suicide is the answer. Well theres always time. I can at least visit Asia and do some reconnaissance and see if it is white free. If there really are almost no white people. Then it deserves serious consideration at least. This would be the total undoing of my WMAF birth. It will be like my whole life never happened and I was just a normal Asian guy born in Asia to AMAF parents. I mentioned how I hate the life of the average Asian-American man. But I could live an ordinary Asian life, if I wasn’t at the bottom of a racial hierarchy pyramid.

U: It would be hypocritical of you, if you say that your whole problem is living among racist whites, and you turn down a chance of escape. If Asia is genuinely free of whites, then you have no excuse not to emigrate.

I: I told my mom, the one reason I would be happier in Asia, is because I would escape the white people I hate so much. She asked me if I hated my dad and grandparents. And I said “YES! YES! 1000 times YES!” That I had a volcano of rage and hatred underneath, that I had no choice but to keep suppressed in order to maintain my leeching off my parents. But it doesn’t make it go away.

U: This is your chance to put yourself where your mouth is.

I: Of course this doesn’t make me an actual AMAF son born in Asia. My life did happen. Its much more difficult to integrate into Asia at this point.

U: Even if you don’t fully integrate into Asia, you will have at least escaped your hell.

I: Not if its WMAF heaven as those online allege.

U: You’ve been to Asia yourself and you can vouch with your own eyes, there are hardly any white people there. Haven’t been there in a whiles. But now you can double check.

I: IDK maybe I really wont ever be accepted anywhere ever. I will be a total stranger in Asia, an alien. If I was a white guy, or a whiter looking Eurasian, ok I could stick out and be a cool alien. But as a basically Asian-looking Hapa, I wont be a special snowflake there. I will be as alienated as a white.

U: The option of suicide will still be open. Lets just check this out.

I: I don’t think I’ll ever be free. I think the burden of being Hapa will kill me. Its not Asia’s job to clean up the Hapa mess. Its America’s fault that Hapa happened. I should be a burden on America not Asia.

U: Do you feel universally hated in USA?

I: My autobiography doesn’t lie. From childhood to now. IDK maybe Hapas just don’t belong in this world. I always knew Asia was an opium pipe dream. And maybe thats all it is now too. A mirage. I don’t think I’ll find any liberation there. I just don’t think Eurasians are fit to live.

U: You need to decide one way or the other.

I: I can make a limited commitment to going to Asia, just to do some reconnaissance and check it out, while keeping the suicide option open. I hate life and have no attachment to it. Still, I can always die, theres no need to throw it away carelessly, without 1st exhausting all options. I think I’ve done my fiduciary duty on that count. I didn’t just rush into death. I explored all options both intellectually and in practice. I made every effort to live every genre of life. If I were to suicide, it would be with total confidence that I was born into a life not worth living, and that none of my choices could change it. If its necessary to cross off one last possibility, to be totally confident in the rationality of my suicide, thats fine.

U: Of course half-heartedness is the enemy of success. If you believe it will fail, it will.

I: I’m not going to work my ass off for a maybe. I’m make a partial commitment. As far as I’m concerned this is recon. I want to know which claims about Asia are true. If its really true, that I’d be totally free of whites, then yes, it would be hard for me to turn down the chance, without being a hypocrite. If Asia, genuinely has no white people, I will make my full commitment to living in it. IF Asia is overflowing with WMAF, then I will know for sure, that no life anywhere is worth living for a Hapa. Only the evidence can decide.

U: And so if you do not encounter any whites in Asia, you vouch to become an Asian Citizen and integrate?

I: I would be willing to live a quiet life as a sterile worker drone in the Confucian hive.